Hey, you're website is a joke, he said...isn't that the point of IMAO? Maybe he was complimenting you in some bizarre way.

O god i just came back from the ghetto and i have to go to the restroom...pray for me.

I didn't know that if I drove or lived in the ghetto I'd have to eat dick either. I'm not sure I have any recipe's for that.

But wait! The weekly Recipe Carnival is coming up! Perhaps something for Ghetto Dick will be on, we can only hope.

I did not know that "biggot" is two 'g's if you use it in a paragraph with "ghetto".

This site is not only a joke, it is educational.

I just had a godawful day that brightened immeasurably by reading that.

*chuckle* ... brilliant:)

M

Brilliant!
It seems like all the college scholarships and stuff I see everywhere apply to everyone but me. Why? I guess I'm just not "diverse" enough.

LOL!
It is so nice of you to take some of your precious time to respopnd to the hate mail writers.

class!

so wait a second. he wants me to pay more taxes so that people in ghetto get more welfare and more dick?

I'm not sure I follow.

Give us his email, frank!

Whats this education reform he's speaking of, in Texas we have been taking money from rich school districts and giving them to poor school districts so that the poorer districts have almost twice as much money per student per year for almost a decade. Ya know what, it didn't make a dent in test scores or dropout rates.

All I can say to that is "Thank God I put down my steaming mug of ghetto blood before I read IMAO today."

Thanks for making my day.

I was in line for a lottery ticket behind a teacher who's a brother, and he mentioned 1 grade school was better than another because they'll at least sit down. "They won't do the work, but at least they're not running around out of control."

That's why they'll never notice tax cuts or increases. It's not cool to know your homework. It's only cool to get what you want right now.

Dear Frank, that really made me laugh sooooo hard. i want some mean emails like that why don't i get any hate mail?? darn...j/k. i didn't know that about the ghetto i think i'll ask my bro sanford if they really do that in the ghetto because it's so bad...hmm well frank i do hope he keeps sending emails to you i kinda miss the hate mails of like early this year.
matt

Cripes..

That was wicky-wacky hilarious, Frank.

I wish you got more hate mail... that's one of my favorite segments. :)

Hey! I was raised in the suburbs and we had white bread on the table with every dinner (and margarine to spread on it). He makes it sound like that's a bad thing. Wicky-wacky ding-dong!

Isn't it nice how God invented spelling, grammer, and punctuation, so people could instantly get a free hint that the rambling words they are reading have possibly been written by a dumbass freeloading whining moron?

I think it's beautiful in it's simplicity and of course, the hint is free.

Hmm... Glenn Reynolds blends puppies and Frank J. slurps down the blood of the working class. Maybe if I concoct my own revolting energy drink, I'll be sucessful! I need to think of something particularly gruesome.

wow that was hilarious

Affirmative Action is government sanctioned tokenism.

wicky-wacky? What a stupid doody-head.

I want a t-shirt that reads, "Working is for homos. Let them eat dick!" Puleeeeeeeeeeaze???

Went back and re-read this...didn't realize Frank changed all the French words to that...makes mucho sense now. This guy seems to have some sort of phallic fixation that he should really deal with.

Oh, Oh... and a pic of Frank on the back of the T grabbing his "package", old school ghettoian. Word to your motha!

How do tax cuts and education reform hurt the ghetto? The ghetto has been ruled by democrats since slightly before the respectable people who actually built the buildings there moved out. I've lived in ghettos (both white and black ones) believe me it's that way for a very good reason; and one that your hate mailer exemplifies.

"...that any ghettoians will eat my dick."

* snarf...choke...guffaw *

"DICK! Its not just for breakfast anymore!"

Wonder if this guy is part British? It might be quite possible he is refering to a ghetto corruption of Spotted Dick . . . I hear thats a popular British food . . .

Or he might just be a moron. Thats a possibility too.

Wow.

When Mike Massey - and France - disagree with me, then I know I'm on the right path.

You can judge a man by his enemies.

IMAO is terrific!

Nice to see that they have internet connection in the Ghetto. I wonder if they are the ones responsible for all the "drive-by spamming"?

Frank, you bring up good points about the racist state of the US against terrorists today. What about our policy of no negotiations with terrorists? That's racist too, isn't it? Also, it's my understanding that many Americans don't want terrorists to vote. What could be more racist? We need to insure the rights of terrorists to vote and even provide ballots in terroristese. Heck, I've also noticed national fear of terrorists; obviously due to ignorance of terrorphobic evangelical Christian conservatives who want to create an anti-terrorist theocracy (ruled by Theo, whoever he is)
I think we should alert the ACLU to the racism against these poor under-represented terrorists. (And have the Mass. Supreme Court give them the right to marry too.)

Oh and Princess Kimberly
"I want a t-shirt that reads, "Working is for homos. Let them eat dick!" Puleeeeeeeeeeaze???"

That was the icing on the cake.

Dick, it's what's for dinner!

Dick, the other white meat. *groan*

Dick, does a body good!

.
.
.

Great, now I've got Cartman's version of "In the Ghetto" stuck in my head.

Thanks, Mike Massey!

Dick: It's Atkin's friendly

I'm curious how Mike Massey is busy defending your rights. Does that mean he's in the military? Cause if he is, wow, they must have lowered enlistment standards something FIERCE lately.

Finally... what is it with the initials MM and being a freaking whack-job?

OOOH, who has the cartman "In the Ghetto" mp3???

Found it!
http://www.robd.net/sound/spsounds/Ghetto.wav

I like his comment "have you ever worked a day in your life." I find with my friends the richest and most successful are the ones that work the hardest. The poorest friends also happen to be the laziest and have no idea how money works since they never had any, which is why they don't understand higher taxes=unemployment=more people needing handouts

Frank if you're bored or anyone else, come see my news satire site, I'm trying to get more righties reading it, all my friends from the improv theater community are pretty left:

http://eyesontheball.blogspot.com

Too Funny.... This is a true denison of the "New Intellectual class" that all Demoncrats aspire to be....

You should have changed the word "dick" to "bagel."

"Eat my bagel, biggot!"

You know, if you changed that one phrase to "Visit the ghetto and eat a dick," you'd have one heck of a snappy tourism slogan for the ghetto. Maybe Mike Massey should submit that to the Ghetto Tourism Board!

I wish someone would have told me that the key to intellectual superiority was eating a penis & going to a ghetto. I wouldn't have wasted 4 years & lots of money going to college. Does the type of ghetto matter? Does it have to be a non-white area, or will a Jewish or Ukranian ghetto count? Also, does the type of penis matter? How smart does someone who eats an animals penis on "Fear Factor" become? Would a horse penis make you smarter than a gerbil penis?

Wow! I'm a college student. I think I'm going to become a terrorist so that I can get all kinds of scholarships and grants and blame my poor grades on my racist teachers. Thanks for the idea Frank J.!

Karanadon, Anyone who eats their dick and visits the ghetto knows you can't just "become" another race. You have to be born terrorist, like Yassir Arafat.

While we're on the dick eating topic, and it just so happens to be World AIDS Day, and someone just mentioned Arafat... I'm wondering...

will he make the AIDS quilts???

GRA-HAHAHAHAHA!

Maybe Mikey should take the dick out of his mouth and see what 40 years of welfare and teachers unions have done for/to the ghetto

Frank J! An evil troll over at Right Wing News has taken to insulting you! This must not stand! His name is Charlemagne and he said of thee:

"This guy [Frank J] is a nutcase."

Well... that's about it, but it angered me anyhow! He's a dirty troll that gets himself banned only to turn up somewhere else and bring woe.

It's a ghetto x-mas, in the LBC! *caution, strong language* They do talk about dick alot.

http://www.98online.com/twisted/snoop_xmas.mp3

Let me see:

Before tax cuts and education reform, the ghetto was a run-down part of the city, filled with crime, such as dick poaching, and liberals.

After tax cuts and education reform, the ghetto is a run-down part of the city, filled with crime, including dick consumption, and liberals.

I still get a tax break! Nya nya!

Well, I must say that Mike's logic is...peccible.

N. O'Brain
Imperial Minister for Useless Information

There's nothing that'll make a moderate Republican a strong Republican like reading a hate-filled liberal's letter and Frank J.'s response to it and then going and listening to Bill O'Reiley. :)

Everyone remember a bigot is a republican winning an argument with a democrat.

And fascism is refusing to pay people to be lazy.

Frank, not to contradict you, but as I recall "insurgents are a minority and thus should be given preference in hiring and college admissions", so are terrorists now insurgents? You do have separate "Know thy Enemy" for both.

BeeBee, I don't have a recipe for Ghetto Dick but here is one for Spotted Dick. It's supposed to be pretty good.

------------------------------
Spotted Dick Recipe

285g (10oz) Self-Raising Flour
150g (5oz) Shredded Suet
150ml (¼ pint) Milk
110-160g (4-6oz) Currants or Raisins
85g (3oz) Castor Sugar
1 Lemon, zest only, finely grated
Pinch Salt

Mix all of the dry ingredients, including the grated lemon zest, together thoroughly
Add enough milk to produce a soft dough.
Turn out onto a floured surface.
Roll out the mixture to produce a roll approximately 15cm (6 in) long and 5cm (2 in) in diameter.
Prepare either a tea towel lightly dusted with flour, or sheet of kitchen foil or a double thickness of greaseproof paper, brushed with melted butter.
Wrap loosely but securely, leaving enough space for it to rise.
Tie or seal the ends.
Place in the steamer and cover tightly.
Steam for 1½ to 2 hours.
Serve cut into thck slices with hot custard.
-----------------------------

Note that they use suet in Spotted Dick. That just seems funny to me.

Now I get it! The whole grabbing your crotch thing is so someone else doesn't eat your dick without your permission! That is why all the "Gangstas" do that! This hate mail segment is so educational! and to think we survived all these years on the blood of the working class. I think we should open a restaurant that serves real soul food so that Liberals can feel "in touch" with the ghetto. we can call it "dicks bar and grill" of course, leave it to my free enterprising skills to find a way to capatalize on the plight of the ghetto for profit! what a wacky conservative I am!

So was it tax cuts that allowed this poor person from the ghetto to afford a computer and internet access?

Stop!!!! My stomach hurts from laughing! That final paragraph is hilarious, which should make, Mikey, say "OW!"

Nope, he saved his pennies by not eating as much dick for 2 months. And then on the brink of starvation, managed to buy a computer. His internet is paid for by the many generous contributions Michael Moore, working class hero, gives back to the community from his best-selling propaganda and $35,000 lectures. Micheal Moore also eats dick, some say to relate to the common man while others say it's because he's hungry. And as smart as he is, Al Fraken must eat more dick than anyone else.

What kind of sitcom would it be with a terrorist as the leading role? I imagine something called Terror in Ghetto: Pass the Dick starring a terrrorist and micheal moore.

What kind of sitcom would it be with a terrorist as the leading role? I imagine something called Terror in Ghetto: Pass the Dick starring a terrrorist and micheal moore.

Oh oh, I got one!

How many dicks would Slick Willie lick if sick liberals do lick dicks?

Any sitcom involving Terrorists would be... Short-lived. lol

It's been a while since we've gotten muckadoo mail. It's good to see that ignorance is still alive and well.

And I've been saying wicky wacky all day. ie "That's wicky wacky insane!". True story. Let's all spread the joy of wicky wackyness to all Americans....ready...set..go!

We need some movies staring terrorist as well.
Suggestions:
-Honey I blew up some kids
-Casa Fallujah
-The Bombinator
-A river of Blood runs through it
-The Boondock Jihadists
-Dances with French
-A beautiful mine
-You've got mail with no return address
-Dead hijackers society
-Crouching tiger, hidden box-cutter
-the Chirac show

spanky and our gang -

teacher: someone use this word in a sentence - dictate

buckwheat: hey darla, how do my dictate?

Geez I work in the Ghetto, and

I see what 40 years of the Great Society welfare programs have done to people ... enslaved them.

Yep education reform hasn't worked either. Maybe it hasn't worked because of the greedy Teachers Unions? Maybe people don't want it to work, and want to continue on with their failed programs which produce more hopeless, helpless dependants for the Democratic political machine?

BTW there is a lot of dick eating that goes on, for a fee or for fun. A few blocks from my office you can have your choice of any gender or color eater you want. Some are third generation.

Fortunately, I haven't availed myself of their services.

I think this is the best hate mail we've seen in a while, on par with the Limey. I also think Frank's response is by FAR the best one yet. Frank's funny is back. :)

Frank,

You made me laugh so hard I snorted coffee out of my nose. Thanks a bunch.

Sorry for NOT being funny, but the main reason that all of the education reform and increased taxes won't ever make a difference in the ghetto is because ghetto is a state of mind.

My wife taught in the government (some dare call it public) school for 13 years before going private. Kids bussed in from the "inner city" (euphemism for ghetto) were always ready to harass any of their own for "trying to be white" by actually studying or trying to earn good grades.

Poor people are poor because they insist on doing the same things that make them poor.

Hey, Mikey, ever notice that you're not likely to see someone who drives a Mercedes and dresses well buying lottery tickets or cheap beer or cigarettes? Ever wonder why fat, slovenly, tattooed people seem to be the ones buying those items and then climbing into vehicles that look like they should be towed to a junk yard?

Wait a second. If these ghettoians are eating dick (what a charming visual), why are my taxes paying for freaking welfare cheese? Is this part of the "Dick for Food" scandal?

Does this ghetto dick-eating thing have anything to do with "being on the down-low"?? Maybe that's what Mikey is trying to reveal to us? REally, Mike ... just come out of the closet. It's ok.

OH MY GAWD! I cannot stop laughing! Each comment just gets better and better. I'll have to buy one of those new dick t-shirts and make spotted dick for dinner tonight while listing to my new holiday album featuring "It's beginning to look a lot like Jihaad". Later I was thinking about popping some popcorn while watching my new DVD "There's Something about Dick".
Who's bringing the blood wine?

On a sports note, the people from the Ghetto are the types Notre Dame want to be able to recruit to make their football program successful again.

Could you imagine that guy on ND's campus, he'd try to crook the dome. Better yet, his teeth may have more gold in them than the dome does.

Laughed so hard it hurt. Comments keep the pain fresh.

Oh my God, My face hurts from laughing! My Favorite TV title for the Terrorist Sitcom is Crouching Tiger, Hidden Box Cutter. Oh man, it kills!

Please post more hate mail!

As for TV shows starring terrorists:

What about CSI: Palestine?

Eating dick??? How did that commercial go? "Give it to Mikey, he'll eat anything. Hey Mikey!! He likes it!!" So gross, but hey, it was really entertaining. I'll have to remind my husband to say wicky wacky instead of the other word.

Maybe we're misunderstanding Mr. Massey. Maybe he doesn't mean for us to eat a penis at all. Maybe he's using a slang term for the African dik-dik. Though how we're supposed to get ahold of zoo animals for a barbecue is beyond me.

Maybe we're misunderstanding Mr. Massey. Maybe he doesn't mean for us to eat a penis at all. Maybe he's using a slang term for the African dik-dik. Though how we're supposed to get ahold of zoo animals for a barbecue is beyond me.

Ideas for shows starring terrorists:
-Survivor: I think mine's a dud.
-The Apprentice Bombmaker
-The West Bank
-Enemies
-Just Bomb Me
-Allah's Law & Disorder

Remember, in communist ghetto, [Bleep] eats you.

Remember, in communist ghetto, [Bleep] eats you.

The African Dik-Dik is cute. Who'd wanna kill that when you can kill PETA people instead?

OK...Mikey's diatribe and the comments here are pretty hilarious, but some commenters have hit a couple of serious points...

1) "Ghetto is a state of mind." As our urban youth might say..."True 'dat." The biggest reasons that there seems to be a permanent minority underclass in this country are the uncomfortable facts that there are too many kids born with fathers who aren't around or don't give a shit, and that popular "urban" culture doesn't value education or achievement in any field other than athletics or entertainment.

If black "leaders" like Jackson, Mfume, Bond, etc. really wanted to help their people, they'd stop asking why there aren't more black head coaches in the NCAA and start asking why there aren't more black doctors, black scientists, or black engineers.

Of course, I'm white, so if I say these things, I must be a racist.

You sure are! Next you're going to say that people born terrorist never aspire to anything other than suicide bomber.

"I'll have to remind my husband to say wicky wacky instead of the other word."

I hear ya Kitty! I've been looking for a replacement word to enforce around here, and I think wicky-wacky wins :) Hubby comes home and thinks he's still out on the job with the guys...he's got a wicky-wacky foul mouth! But I think he'll find enough humor in this to have it catch on - thanks Frank for saving my virgin ears.

"I'll have to remind my husband to say wicky wacky instead of the other word."

I hear ya Kitty! I've been looking for a replacement word to enforce around here, and I think wicky-wacky wins :) Hubby comes home and thinks he's still out on the job with the guys...he's got a wicky-wacky foul mouth! But I think he'll find enough humor in this to have it catch on - thanks Frank for saving me! You're the best!

oops! double post - sorry! I ended up changing the virgin ears part, didn't want to give anyone the wrong idea ;)

Hey Mommy, can't you just hear our husbands when they get into the habit of saying wicky wacky. They are out with the guys and wicky wacky this and wicky wacky that. Aren't they going to sound ridiculous. At least they won't be saying the other word around the kids.

CDR, I agree about the "government" schools. If they were "public", I as one of the public could go up to the overpaid school secretary and ask for my kids' share of the education funding and go buy them a real education.

The government school system cannot be reformed. It must go...

Oh come on! Clearly our friend Mike is a testament to the successes of the socialized school system. Let’s see….

“Are you wicky-wacky dumb? or were you just raised in the suburbs, under the protective bubble of scared ass white bread parents?”
-There is no capitalization at the beginning of the second sentence.
-One needs hyphenation for “scared-ass” and “white-bread” as both are used as adjectives.
-Since “scared-ass” and “white bread” are used as adjectives there should be a comma between them.
-Though it is grammatically correct to start a sentence with a conjunction like “or,” it should only be used for special emphasis.

“Youre website is a joke.”
-When making reference to possession: “your” rather than “you’re” is used.
-There is an apostrophe in “youre”

“Are you rich? is that it, have you ever worked a day in your life?”
-Because “is that it” and “have you ever worked a day in your life” do not share a common subject, they should not be in the same sentence. I believe the statement intended was: “Are you rich? Is that it? Have you ever worked a day in your life?”
-Once again, when starting a sentence, it is necessary to capitalize the first letter of the first word.

“Eat my dick, biggot.”
-Though grammatical correct, it is best to end angry commands with an exclamation point.
-The correct spelling of “bigot” uses only one “g.”

“You ARE entitled to youre opinion, I'll defend that right for you til the day I die, but you are a wicky-wacky moron.”
-The correct spelling of “til” has two is “’till.” Notice the apostrophe, as “’till” is an abbreviated version of “until.”

“Eat a dick and visit the ghetto.”
“See what tax cuts and education reform have done for our country.”
-Once again, the best way to end an angry command is with an exclamation point.

Oops! What I mean is: yuck, yuck, i’m juzt a unejimicated hick. please tell meez howda think; o’ smart intilecshual suhperier.

What the heck is Castor Sugar?
lol
:}

More possibilities for movies starring Terrorist-Americans:

"How to Lose a War in 7 Days"
"Mission: Combustible"
"There's Something about Mohammed"
"Three Men and a Bomb"
"Harold and Kumar Blow up White Castle"

>or were you just raised in the >suburbs, under the protective bubble >of scared ass white bread . . .

How refreshingly educational! I was unaware that bread had feelings such as fear . . . much less an ass. However this does bring up the racsim issue again. Its' so true. In suburbian America only white bread is acepted. I urge everyone to promote terrorist bread.

Hey you can even eat a dick sandwich on terrorist bread!

Sorry about all the >'s tech difficulties due to newbie-ism

hehe.. OK, that was pretty funny. I didn't know they had email in the ghetto. We must be doing something wrong.

i can't believe this moron can operate a computer and not end up on half a dozen gay porn sites...how the hell did he end up here?

Due to certain comments made by Frank, you can end up here if google the phrase "nude pics of Michael Moore."

I click on this site for the FrankJ funny, I stay for the comments. You all just make me chuckle..

Hey! You guys wanna back off of the dick eating comments? They're making me nervous! LMAO