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December 06, 2004
Usually Malware Is Accidentally Downloaded, But Sometimes You Pay Good Money for It
Posted by Frank J. at 10:16 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (25)

I've having enough trouble setting up my new computer, and guess what I found yesterday when I walked into my den? Gremlins! They were all over my new Dell, and I was like, "What in the world are you doing? The thing is already loaded with Microsoft software! I even use IE for my browser and Outlook for my mail; what in the world are you guys going to do?"

"Nothing worse than that," one of the Gremlins said before they all sulked off.

Stupid Gremlins.

Rating: 2.8/5 (2 votes cast)

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25 Responses To "Usually Malware Is Accidentally Downloaded, But Sometimes You Pay Good Money for It"

1st

#1 - Posted by: on December 6, 2004 10:17 AM

Gremlins, uh? Casully I've been reading Ah! Megamisama! lately and can recommend a foolproof solution.

Bring one of these silly cricket hammers. Don't forget to use eyeglasses while doing your, uhm, "debugging" to look smarter. That probably intimidates the scurry things.

#2 - Posted by: kyber on December 6, 2004 10:34 AM

Outlook's E-mail-fu is week. Thunderbird's E-mail fu is much stronger. And Firefox can kick IE's posterior any day of the week. You wouldn't want your browser-fu to be inferior, would you?

#3 - Posted by: Robin Munn on December 6, 2004 10:45 AM

Outlook's E-mail fu is weak, even.

#4 - Posted by: Robin Munn on December 6, 2004 10:45 AM

Nice site.. Funny as fck. How did I get here?

#5 - Posted by: elrey on December 6, 2004 10:49 AM

agreed, next to sex and mashed potatoes firefox is about the best thing ever.

#6 - Posted by: Ryan on December 6, 2004 10:51 AM

I'm not a fan of Thunderbird. It doesn't crash as much as Outlook, but it doesn't look like or work like Outlook either. Thunderbird might be okay for POP mail, but it absolutely blows for IMAP.

Charles.

#7 - Posted by: Charles on December 6, 2004 10:53 AM

They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages. Thats nothing, because if you play it forward, it installs Windows.

#8 - Posted by: Faith+1 on December 6, 2004 11:26 AM

Oh lordy, Did you buy a commercial Dell or that stuff they sell to the peons?

#9 - Posted by: toad on December 6, 2004 11:44 AM

My bad, I meant to say coperate instead of commercial.

#10 - Posted by: toad on December 6, 2004 11:45 AM

Dude! You got screwed!

#11 - Posted by: Portishead on December 6, 2004 12:00 PM

toad: And yet, in the end, you meant "corporate". I guess third time would've been the charm.

#12 - Posted by: Lionstone on December 6, 2004 12:02 PM

*tee hee* Dude, yes, you got screwed! I gave up on Dell, after my second laptop fell apart. I'm talking about being held together with duct tape, monitor propt against the wall, and my having to tweak the power adaptor wires together with my fingers to help it hold a charge long enough to be able to check my email. After about 6 months, the hinges and casing start to form hair line cracks.

OMG, you would have been better off going to Walmart and buying one of their super cheap emachines.

#13 - Posted by: Princess Kimberley on December 6, 2004 12:15 PM

You got a Dell?!?

Man, I pity you. I've had naught but bad experiences with them. And my clients too. Their support isn't worth much.

#14 - Posted by: 007 on December 6, 2004 12:39 PM

Princess, I bought one of those emachines from Best Buy a few years back and I'd have been glad to have had the problems you've had. Motherboard? Dead. Powersupply? Pffffft. CPU? Snap, crackle, pop. They are cheap CHEAP CHEAP.

Build your own I say.

#15 - Posted by: Syd Barret on December 6, 2004 12:43 PM

Considering all the other crappy computers out there a Dell isn't a bad choice. I have had one for six months with no problems.

#16 - Posted by: Tyler on December 6, 2004 12:48 PM

Pah. Been using Outlook and IE forever, never a single problem.
On my main PC, which has seen:
- change of every component (except the main HD) without reinstallation, including frying motherboard & GFX card;

- installing/uninstalling hundreds of games/demos/progs (THOSE really create problems! I had games that started working only after a thorough reg cleaning);

- 6+ months of 24/7 running with eMu*cough*

My installation is now 15 months old. Not A Single Problem. In fact, my second PC took some three months to "settle" and start working really well.

And that's all not counting the previous PCs. Fact is, I've been using IE/Outlook since I switched from OS/2-Eudora-command line FTP-Netscape 1.5 in '96. Back when frames were for paintings, backgrounds worked once every three page loads, and high-professional pages looked like the average Geocities crap minus the l33tspeek.

Tsk, I'm that old already?

#17 - Posted by: Francesco Poli on December 6, 2004 12:59 PM

Pshaw. Durn younguns. I remember back in the day when HTML wasn't even a gleam in the eye of the computing public, and BBSs ruled the day. You know, when everything looked like it was running through DossHell, and worked through command lines. Back in the days when men were men, women were women, and computer geekery was as socially acceptable as a case of herpes! :oD

#18 - Posted by: AWG on December 6, 2004 01:29 PM

Dell may not have the best but I haven't had trouble with them. I have 2 laptops (one over 3 years old) running fine, 3 desktops (4100, 8100 8250) and all three have been solid.

Quit building my own a few years back. Got tired of all the hassles of matching memory, mobos, cpus etc etc. Found I spent more time fiddling with the computer rather than using it.

Much prefer when there is a problem I call a 1-800 number and someone comes to my house and makes the problem go away. I like not having to do anything but dial a phone and my problems go away.

#19 - Posted by: Faith+1 on December 6, 2004 01:32 PM

Tsk Tsk Tsk
Ok Frnk Goint to give you the list, you better check it twice.
because I will know if you been naughty or nice.
Take it from this old hand, take my computer advice.
Or your new dell will work like a watch soaked in ice.

Open Office Org = Replaces MS word
G-Mail = Replaces MS mail
Free-av = Replaces Norton
Fire Fox = Replaces Exploder
ad-ware se (for malware)
Uninstaller Pro (Registery, Uninstalling, crap loads of other stuff)

#20 - Posted by: Monster Kabasue on December 6, 2004 01:35 PM

YEs, DOwnload "Ad-aware SE", and "Spybot". Both are free.

Unless I'm missing the point of the gremlins. If the gremlins are real, and they're good looking, put them in a terrarium and stick that up on the shelf in your office. Don't let SarahK find them, or at least make them get dressed when she comes in.

#21 - Posted by: Bob on December 6, 2004 02:55 PM

Makes me wonder... in a fight between Aquaman and Microsoft products who would win? Would MS stuff break down or would Aquaman lose by virtue of being unable to operate a computer underwater?

#22 - Posted by: humanoverlord on December 6, 2004 03:34 PM

Aquaman would lose but the Attorneys General would file a lawsuit on his behalf and tie it up in the courts for years.

But in the end, Aquaman would still lose.

#23 - Posted by: Dave in Texas on December 6, 2004 08:45 PM

Obligatory Mac user post

#24 - Posted by: MacStansbury on December 6, 2004 09:49 PM

"Sure, I'll blend puppies. But I won't use Outlook. It's a virus magnet. It's the computer equivalent of randomly accepting blood transfusions from strangers. In Zaire." --you-know-who

#25 - Posted by: kps on December 7, 2004 09:52 AM
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