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December 07, 2004
Coming Up On IMAO...
Posted by Frank J. at 09:09 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (35)

BTW, anyone listen to Real Rock 101.1 (local to the Orlando area)? The DJ on my drive home (Buckethead) was talking about fanny packs and how its considered gay for guys to wear them even though they're useful. I called up to tell him that a lot of guys who wear fanny packs are actually concealing guns in them (it's the holster reccomended by the retired police officer who taught my concealed-carry course). I also told him I don't use that holster because it's gay-looking. Anyway, I was just curious if I was on the radio or not.

Anyhoo, tomorrow on IMAO...

New Hate-Filled Lefty Comic!

New Editorial!

Another autographed book will be given away!

And more... including an announcement I think you IMAO fans will like.

Now keep voting for me! Close that gap!

Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes cast)

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
35 Responses To "Coming Up On IMAO..."

First!

#1 - Posted by: Maikeru on December 7, 2004 09:10 PM

Of course, guns are gay-looking, too, Frank.

Just kidding! You're the coolest guy, and probably hate gays.

First?

#2 - Posted by: Steve on December 7, 2004 09:11 PM

Darn!

#3 - Posted by: on December 7, 2004 09:11 PM

they look really really gay

#4 - Posted by: urban on December 7, 2004 09:20 PM

You know, just in the interest of fairness, I visited Scrappleface. How on earth is that snoozing pile of boredom 8 points ahead of IMAO?

I'll keep voting IMAO from as many computers as I see.

#5 - Posted by: Lionstone on December 7, 2004 09:35 PM

I listen to 101.1, but I had 105.9 on today. Sorry, I don't know if you were on.

#6 - Posted by: Silk on December 7, 2004 09:47 PM

i'd rather be robbed and beaten like a drum than wear a fanny pack :p

#7 - Posted by: Kevin on December 7, 2004 10:03 PM

So all the gay men wearing fanny packs have guns in them? Whoa! I see so many gay men with fanny packs here in NJ, I just thought they carried around feminine hygiene products.

#8 - Posted by: Santa on December 7, 2004 10:05 PM

and Hate-Filled Lefty should wear a fanny pack tomorrow.

#9 - Posted by: Santa on December 7, 2004 10:07 PM

unlike SarahK, who doesn't use feminine hygiene products. SHUSH UP! She posted that on her blog I tells ya!

#10 - Posted by: Santa on December 7, 2004 10:13 PM

Great idea on HFL Santa!

Anywaydeehowdyhoo....

Fanny packs in any color other than black are gay
Black fanny packs:
-Worn in front, gay like a chick flick
-Worn on left side, Very manly, cause we all know everyone cool with guns is right handed and is 'spotting' everyone else .57 of a second in the 'reach for you gun' game.
-Worn on right side, means you're into weird stuff but people have to guess what that might be.
-Worn in back above your butt means you don't know whether you're coming or going, and hell, why don't you just start dressing like John Biff Kerry and be done with it.
-Worn in back hanging below your butt. You're either a serious bad ass or you have issues about people looking at your butt.

That's official as of 7-Dec-2004 @ 10:15 EDT.

#11 - Posted by: Bob on December 7, 2004 10:15 PM

I wore a fanny pack caving once... and I don't think it was or looked gay. Besides, it ended up looking like a dirt-brown muddy color... very manly, imho.

#12 - Posted by: Conservative Vampire on December 7, 2004 10:20 PM

Close the gap? Listen up, bro. If you really want to win this competition, the Canadians have something to teach you about how to make people afraid not to vote for you.

#13 - Posted by: Lastango on December 7, 2004 10:34 PM

it's not true! it's not true! i just have a problem with words sometimes!

#14 - Posted by: sarahk on December 7, 2004 10:54 PM

most of us have problems with the words "feminine hygiene"

I'm just sayin

#15 - Posted by: Dave in Texas on December 7, 2004 11:08 PM

I think the problem with fanny packs is that they look like colostomy bags.

#16 - Posted by: gail on December 7, 2004 11:24 PM

I think the problem with colostomy bags is that they look like fanny packs!

#17 - Posted by: Nelson Muntz on December 7, 2004 11:55 PM

what does colostomy mean? Something to do with colons? I am too lazy to look it up.

#18 - Posted by: Santa on December 8, 2004 12:15 AM

The suspense was killing me.

{colostomy >noun (pl. colostomies) a surgical operation in which the colon is shortened and the cut end diverted to an opening in the abdominal wall.}

HUH? So a colostomy bag holds the poop that now comes out of the abdomin???? Oh MY ALLAH!

#19 - Posted by: Santa on December 8, 2004 12:25 AM

In my opinion, men who wear fanny packs are either gay or married, therefore they do not care or are not allowed to care what hot non-nerdy women think of them because that looks so dang gay, or worse, stoopid.
C'mon ladies, be honest. You're out with that special guy and are accosted by a fanny packin' hate filled lefty. You prefer your secsy man defends you by:
a. unzipping and digging out his weapon from the ole fanny pack like a granny
or..
b. whips that bad boy out from a shoulder holster or drops and rolls pulling that pistol from his ankle holster and filling that goofy lefty with 10 bullets in one smooth motion.
Imagine all the different really cool and secsy scenerios in which the fanny packin' hate filled lefty can be killed dead on your behalf. I can't think of even one that involves a fanny pack. Without laughing and rooting for the lefty just a lil bit anyhow.

#20 - Posted by: JJ on December 8, 2004 12:31 AM

Left-handed gun-fanatics are cool too....really, we are, but none the less are into "weird stuff" as well.

#21 - Posted by: timmyroy on December 8, 2004 01:06 AM

Somehow, I managed to vote for IMAO two extra times today on the same computer! The second time was after I reformatted my hard drive (due to an excessive amount of spyware), and the third time after I switched browsers. My IP address stayed the same the entire time. I don't know if it was a momentary glitch in the system or if it can be done again. I haven't been able to do it again, but I suspect that it's the former. Still, try switching browsers and see if you can get an extra vote in.

#22 - Posted by: Justin C. on December 8, 2004 01:09 AM

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!

Quick, everyone, try clearing your cookies and vote again! I got in about 5 votes! Quick, before they fix the glitch!

#23 - Posted by: Justin C. on December 8, 2004 01:13 AM

Stop cheating. They already had people voting with scripts. Just play nice. It's only a true victory over Scrappleface if we fight with honor.

#24 - Posted by: Elliot Temple on December 8, 2004 01:18 AM

Well, deleting your cookies works well for a few extra votes. But it's extremely tiresome if you try to do a lot of votes. You'll get nowhere near the 10,000 votes that some of the script votes got.

#25 - Posted by: Justin C. on December 8, 2004 01:22 AM

Dude, don't screw around with the voting. Kevin Aylward has enough to deal with.

Besides, that would be dishonorable. And how many times has Frank told us (crack smokers) ronin to be honorable?

#26 - Posted by: blackbird4739 on December 8, 2004 01:24 AM

Frank J.: The fanny pack will help you blend in when you go out with INDC on Moonbat recon missions. Wear tie-dye and conceal your weapon in the fanny pack. After you thin the herd a little bit, throw the weapon over your shoulder like a spent cigarette. Since guns kill people you will have no more worries. The gun is lying in the street with no more 'killing' to accomplish. You are a person, not a gun. There is NO way you could have killed anyone. Cigarettes and guns kill people!! People DON'T kill people, you silly savage! Next time I catch you driving your CO2-producing vehicle around here I'll Sue you for driving up the average global temperature! Fiend!!!!

POL_CAT12

#27 - Posted by: POL_CAT12 on December 8, 2004 01:26 AM

I know, I know. I already sent a tip to Kevin about it.

#28 - Posted by: Justin C. on December 8, 2004 01:40 AM

I know, I know. I already sent a tip to Kevin about it.

#29 - Posted by: Justin C. on December 8, 2004 01:40 AM

Well, I have to differ with you all on the aspect of Fanny pack wear. I will tell you, there is more Straight males wearing them as concealment holsters than you think. I ask you to show me a more comfortable way to carry a full-size weapon, extra magazine, Pair of handcuffs, along with Chemical spray, expandable baton, etc.in the heat and humidity of South Louisiana. I am a Law Enforcement Officer, and I hope that the criminal I have to use those items on just thinks I am a homo(that just gives me the upper hand). I also carry a titanium ankle gun, but only an idiot would do the tuck and roll thing to draw it(I actually scored a kill in Simunition Training as a bad guy on a Columbian Police Lt. because he saw too many movies and tried to enter a room with that tuck and roll bull$hit). So, I hope that will make you think twice about the fanny pack as an option for Concealed carry.

#30 - Posted by: Stephen on December 8, 2004 01:46 AM

A variation on the fanny pack. The Wilderness Tactical Safepacker. Several different styles and carry methods.

http://thewilderness.com/catalog/product_info.php/manufacturers_id/2/products_id/18?osCsid=aba7057ca78dc3b54645a33bc19dc796

#31 - Posted by: toad on December 8, 2004 02:44 AM

Dare we hope for a Happy Dance announcement?

Nah.

#32 - Posted by: McWert Deglieb on December 8, 2004 05:39 AM

Re: Fanny packs for concealed carry

Firstly, in just about any city in America, you could walk down the street with shiny chrome Dirty Harry Magnums in both fists and 80% of those around you wouldn't notice.

That said, when I see a guy wearing a fanny pack (or one of those "I'm-trying-to-make-you-think-I'm-a-photographer-but-I'm-really-concealing-a-gun" vests), I wonder why you just don't continuously scream "I'M CARRYING MY GUN!! I'M CARRYING MY GUN!!"

I much prefer IWB carry. Just buy your pants a size larger, and get a good gunbelt, and it'll conceal under an untucked shirt and be comfortable all day. [Note: There's a difference between a belt and a gunbelt. Wear a gun for a while with a gunbelt, and you'll never go back.]

But as with all things on the internet, Your Mileage May Vary.

#33 - Posted by: azlibertarian on December 8, 2004 08:51 AM

Here's an idea, make your fanny pack (Good lord, even the name is gay) look more menacing by hanging the severed fingers of your enemies on them.

#34 - Posted by: Exile on December 8, 2004 09:00 AM

Mua ha ha. I used the link Frank J provided to vote for SCRAPPLEFACE!!!

Which is better than IMAO. But IMAO still rocks, just not as much as ScrappleFace. IMAO is a worthy runner-up.

If IMAO consisted entirely of in my world entries, I would vote for it!

#35 - Posted by: Sparky on December 8, 2004 10:37 AM
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