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December 08, 2004
No No! Don't Poison Yushchenko
As was suspected, someone poisoned Yushchenko (the good Viktor). For real democracy reform, you can't poison each other (unless you vote to poison each other... but the majority wouldn’t vote to poison Yushchenko because they like him). I suggest that, in the future, we have Jimmy Carter as an election monitor with his job to try the food and drink of each candidate to make sure it isn't poisoned. When Carter finds a legitimate case of a candidate trying to poison another, he can then be replaced by Bill Clinton. 14 Responses To "No No! Don't Poison Yushchenko"
Expect violence over there before all is said and done. #1 - Posted by: McWert Deglieb on December 8, 2004 09:03 AMSending Jimmy over there is a good idea. Not only would he make an ideal food/drink tester, his mere presence would cause a "malaise" to set in over the land. Said malaise would keep the bad guys too depressed to take over. They would be reduced to sitting around their post-modern living rooms in platform shoes and garish suits humming old Bee Gees tunes. #2 - Posted by: Nobody Move on December 8, 2004 09:38 AMMaybe Kofi Annan will be looking for a new job soon... #3 - Posted by: Matteo on December 8, 2004 09:53 AMWell, if we're gonna be nominating people, then i suggest Michael Moore. #4 - Posted by: Roxanne on December 8, 2004 11:18 AMWhy not Michael Moore? It's not like you have to convince him to eat something, right? #5 - Posted by: Laurence Simon on December 8, 2004 11:18 AMBuck the Marine and Chomps can solve any problem known to man. Send them to Ukraine, they'll settle the issue. #6 - Posted by: Army NCO Guy on December 8, 2004 12:14 PMNo, you can't use Michael Moore. Due to the amount of mass he has it would take a much (much, much) larger dose of poison to register on his system. Thus reportiong too many false negatives. #7 - Posted by: Son of Risasi on December 8, 2004 01:38 PM And you could never use him as a taste-tester. He'd eat everything on the plate and ask for more, making the candidates very hungry. #8 - Posted by: Army NCO Guy on December 8, 2004 02:28 PMHoly Crap, you made the "Best of the Web"! Congratulations. #9 - Posted by: Bob on December 8, 2004 03:42 PMBrilliant suggestion for Jimmah Carter . . . clearly an ex-Pres with too much time on his meddling little hands. And it's high time Uncle Bill did something constructive . . . can Hillary help, too? #10 - Posted by: on December 9, 2004 12:26 AMI figured out how you can tell them apart - call the good guy "Shenky" (which sounds friendly and nice) and the bad guy "Kovitch" (which sounds like a disease.) #11 - Posted by: greg zywicki on December 9, 2004 08:29 AMYou folks just made my day about those tasters. Please include old Kofi Annan in that mix. #12 - Posted by: John Shook on December 9, 2004 01:32 PMThe poison industry would be booming. Quick buy stock in cynadide and Arsenic inc. #14 - Posted by: NRAforever on December 15, 2004 11:49 AMPost a comment
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