A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Damn!!

Damn straight! Have a book.

No, I can't win!!! I was just screwin' with you. I don't win. Really.

BITTER!!!!!!!!!!!

Fifth.

That's it,I'm shattered.Who wants to take a canoe ride down the Chattooga River with me? No one? C'mon,I hear the locals even play banjo tunes for strangers.

Dude, I'm serious. I don't win. I just did that to screw with y'all. Seriously, I don't win. No joke.

Actually, you already won, didn't you. Your IP matches the first winner. I think Moe gets it.

That's right. Like I said, I was just screwing around and ended up being first. See message 4 and 7.

Yay!

Now look, this contest was clearly stolen by basil, Moe, Halliburton, FOX News, and their eee-ville cronies. The site outage caused blogging irregularities, which obviously hurt me more than anyone else. Besides, I was only behind by 120,000 milliseconds; I practically won.

I think you should send the book to me.

I had a dream where I was first for this contest,but I put "First" and my post was invalidated. Thanks for making me crazy.

I was planning on posting before Moe, but was discouraged by seeing someone else post so well, so I gave up, curled into the fetal position, and said "I am a fish" a few hundred times. Now the carpet is stained with drool and it is all your fault. I demand that you give ME the book, and pay for my therapy.

Had you followed Buck the Marine's example and never quit, you'd be shoving the book in my face while yelling "IN YOUR FACE!" Just like Moe.

You are all nuts.

You know that, right?

Just like Moe

Whaaat? What'd I do?

Frank, wake up and post something funny. I can't sleep, want to laugh, and tonguetied.us is really pissing me off. :( I need my Frank J. Oh woe is me!

Frank, wake up and post something funny. I can't sleep, want to laugh, and tonguetied.us is really pissing me off. :( I need my Frank J. Oh woe is me!

Zell Miller's book would provide lots of ammo for talkin' down liberals.

Mike Reagan's book looks interesting.

Ollie's my favorite. Any one of his.

Air Marshals are required to wear white socks, black shoes and a flattop haircut. And nothing over .22 caliber.

The incompetent son of a bitch running the show should be tarred, feathered and run out of town on a rail.

Air Marshalls are supposed to blend in with other passengers, by the standards of FAMS. If Quinn is subverting his own policy, someone should wave a 2x4 in his general direction.

wow. after reading basil's not-winning first post, i guess "frog legs" sounds kinda weak. tasty, but weak.

Frank, my favorite book is Anne's. Since I'm the only one to answer that particular question (so far), I guess that if you are really asking the fans for their opinions, you should get her book. If you were looking for more comments, just put up another headline post!

Hey..It only took 7 beers to find the "shift" key that lets me put capital letters into my posts...don't tell sarahk!

I like Curious George and the Man with the Yellow Hat.

But Zell Miller's good too.

Post something early. I'll be up.

D'oh! guess i didn't read McWert's post...that must have been the fourth or fifth beer...sorry, McWert!

I vaguely remember Curious George and the Man with the Yellow Hat...damn im old

Maybe you're just vague.

But that doesn't make you feel any better, does it? Never mind.

i'm usually less vague when i've consumed less beer...but i'm always a good sport for good funny.

btw....good headlines!

Thanks. I enjoy reading those. Even mine, sometimes.

Please Frank post soon, I need to leave for work in 10 minutes. I want an autographed Oliver North Book for Christmas.
Please...

Okay, whose turn is it to wake up Frank J.?

i think it's sarahk' turn....

i meant sarahk's turn...she has his IM addy...she can buzz him!

*sigh*
Darn, no book for me.

just my opinion (basil)...don't you think that the book winners should receive a signed IMAO Christmas CD?

Ollie's books are good. Of the two, I really liked Mission Compromised. It has a hint of what when on in the Iran Contra affair (he writes quai good mystery). I'm still trying to figure out who Jabba the Hut is.

Gracie

it's Michael Moore! haven't you seen the (very funny and well done) photoshopped images right here on this very site?

> moehawk at December 16, 2004 06:41 AM

I know *I* am getting a CD.

d'oh! you paid the 12 dollar (cheap!) yes?

but will it be signed?

> moehawk at December 16, 2004 06:54 AM

Yes, I did. And it better be good. I know where Frank J. lives!

Well, not really. But I know where Florida is! Near Georgia, right?

> moehawk at December 16, 2004 06:56 AM

That probably depends on what kind of mood he's in.

If he does, how much you reckon I could get on eBay?

actually, i think it's closer to Cuba.
if he does, and his legal buddy gripes and whines more about how it could be stolen on a P2P for a day or more, an autographed copy could sell for upwards of a few...

sorry, got cut off for a few secs there...the guys with guns to my head say it's not worth anything....lol

Moehawk, you got a jump on me with the beers. I won't start drinking til noon today. I bet Frank's not up before then, anyway.

Sorry, alarm clock didn't wake me up and I was late for work. Last contest post in a few minutes... after a comic.

Brian C.,
"Thanks for making me crazy." - I might use that as an endorsement.

Dangit. I always miss it when Michelle comes on Fox..
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