Ah, the price of a smart mouth. I know it too well, Frank.

Tell me you didn't carry her purse. You didn't, did you?

Soap is made out of animal fat rendered with lye. So much more appealing than chemicals.

I've got to agree, though. I've never understood the idea of "all-natural" products. At their base, aren't all products all natural? I mean, sure, steel is a synthesized human creation, but it's made of iron and carbon, and sometimes some manganese, chromium, nickel, molybdenum, copper, tungsten, cobalt, or silicon, all of which are natural products.

So where do we draw the line at calling something all natural or not?
[End nerd-ulation]

By the way, Frank, this has been bothering me for a while:

What if the worst happens and you and SarahK break up? Who gets posession of the blogosphere? Are all of your readers going to have to choose sides?

Basically, Frank, isn't dating SarahK a little selfish? You haven't considered our emotions at all!

Women.

The soap was handmade, or made out of hands?

Ew.

I got a finger of a latex glove in a can of sliced water chestnuts once. Does that count?

gaskar,
The purse ended up in my hands many times... often without me realizing it. She's very sneaky.

Brian,
Readers will have to choose between the two, because it will be too awkward to comment on both blogs :)

Frank, Frank... you innocent. She's just softening you up for the real revenge!

I'd almost pity you, but I'm on sarahk's side (MWAHAHAHAHAHA!) ;)

I hope she waits until sometime after Christmas, though. She needs to build up the suspense.

Romeocat is totally right. Frank, you haven't actually gotten your christmas present yet. You might be in some serious trouble. What if it's a suicide bomber??

So what soap did you buy her? I know that you already owe her jewels since you almost got her arrested, but you could have picked up the soap that she was looking at too. Come on man, you owe her. She worked so hard at not looking at the present & everything. Why not get her the soap too?

What if it's a suicide bomber??

Frank will easily be able to tell if his present is a suicide bomber. All he has to do is shake the box and see if it says "JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!".

But, how do you find out if it is a ninja? Ninjas are known to be very sneaky.

I'm just surprised we don't see a X-ray of FrankJ's head with the outline of the clip shoved up his nose.

Or at least not yet.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

You can tell if there's a ninja in the box by running a metal detector over it. If you see any sword-shaped objects, shoot the box. :)

You can also take care of any ninjas in the box by running a steamroller over it. Of course, then you don't have a box as much as you do a frisbee...

It's probably good Frank didn't buy her any soap. He would have just carved it into the shape of a gun before her next flight and the whole circus would have started all over again...

She (and any other women) hits you because she wants to have sex with you. But they are sneaky (well nigh Ninja-like - Ninjesque?) in their stealth and wait for a diversion so it will look like they're hitting you for a different reason so God and everybody don't realize that they're horny.

Soap Ninja Monkey.
She brought you there so that he could size you up.
I am still not clear if he is a soap monkey, what is a ninja, or a soap ninja what is a monkey.

what Frank means is people "would" have to choose. he's talking like it's gonna happen. *sigh*