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January 01, 2005
Happy New Year
Good Morning everyone. Guest Blogger RightWingDuck here. Well, at least it's morning here in Pasadena, California. Where it did NOT rain for the Rose Parade today. Hurray! Today, my wife and little duckling went off to see the parade. Did you see them on TV? They were the ones waving. BTW, if you ever get the chance to see the parade in person - do so. I normally go, but this morning I had "pillow issues' I needed to work through. Last night at a party, people were talking about their resolutions for 2005. Resolutions take many shapes. You have hopeless resolutions, such as the desire to lose weight or quit smoking. And then there are the totally useless resolutions - such as those passed by the UN. Now, being practically perfect in every way, I seldom make resolutions. I'm too busy trying to fix other people. Which is really the key to happiness- change everyone around you and you're bound to be happy. I read that somewhere. Okay, okay. Maybe I could lose a little bit of weight. And maybe it wouldn't kill me to actually use Spell Check from time to time. So, rather than asking all IMAO readers what your resolutions are-which would be insincere since I don't really care - I thought, "Self, how would you fix other people?" That led to today's theme.
Michael Moore. Barbra Streisand. Dan Rather. Bill Clinton. Hillary Clinton. John Kerry. John Edwards. Whoopi Goldberg. US Expats in Canada. I hope you enjoyed your New Year Celebration. Tell me, what resolutions would you make for other people? And yes, you can comment on the resolutions you have made for yourselves. This is my final post as Frank should be back soon. I'm still having my Caption Contest. You might be the one to win that wonderful SpongeBob watch (retail value $1.99). Amaze your friends. Drop by and visit at www.rightwingduck.net. We have some wonderful entries so far.
24 Responses To "Happy New Year"
Vladimir Putin. Democratic Underground: Palestinian Terrorists: Saddam Hussein: Ted Rall: For CNN: Continue to improve the quality of your CGI. Your "Anderson Cooper" character looks errily lifelike, but it still fails a turing test and continues to creep out little kids. #4 - Posted by: Protagonist on January 1, 2005 04:21 PMTo be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble. -- Mark Twain, Following the Equator#5 - Posted by: aelfheld on January 1, 2005 05:50 PM Osama Bin Laden: He should give up terrorism and use his money to create a basketball association in the Middle East which he could both own and be one of the best players in since he's a good six inches taller than all other Arabs. Jaques Chirac: Botox Kerry: One botox injection only lasts so long. Make sure you keep your appointments. Edwards: So the Presidential election didn't work out and you gave up your Senate seat but with your great hair you can at least make the cover of GQ. Chevy Chase: Star in another National Lampoon movie! That should convince people that you were too insane to realize the comments you made about Bush and give you a utility payment. Janet Jackson: So your music career is over but that Super Bowl stunt was Tivo's most played back moment so I would recommend doing more things like that, only you might want to keep it to premium channels or perhaps a Pay-Per-View special. #6 - Posted by: Josh on January 1, 2005 07:41 PMKofi Annan: Mine are right here, and sence I made this post before you, I get to say FIRST! #8 - Posted by: Monster Kabasue on January 1, 2005 08:09 PMhttp://kabasue.com/blog/index.php?p=11 er, let me add my link before I post #9 - Posted by: Monster Kabasue on January 1, 2005 08:11 PMAdvice to Rumsfeld: I feel as though Popeye deserves something real swell for that above post. Oh man, that is brilliant. #11 - Posted by: Jason R on January 2, 2005 12:19 AMI'd like all the anorexic girls to go gain some weight. (This is the opposite of the go lose weigh resolution.) #12 - Posted by: Libertarian Girl on January 2, 2005 12:52 AMheh, heh, Popeye rules #13 - Posted by: RingWing on January 2, 2005 01:28 AMMichael Moore -- addendum: What Mikey needs is more butter in his diet. Lots more butter. Great big gallon tubs of butter. Not margarine. Not oleo. Butter. I prescribe a quart of the stuff every day. With a little whole wheat bread to help it go down. #14 - Posted by: Ian Hamet on January 2, 2005 01:32 AMMichael Moore -- addendum: What Mikey needs is more butter in his diet. Lots more butter. Great big gallon tubs of butter. Not margarine. Not oleo. Butter. I prescribe a quart of the stuff every day. With a little whole wheat bread to help it go down. #15 - Posted by: Ian Hamet on January 2, 2005 01:33 AM(Darn thing gave me an error message first time! Sorry for the double post.) #16 - Posted by: Ian Hamet on January 2, 2005 01:40 AMLuk 6:27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.
I'd like the folks at Beverages and More to give me all the free beer that I want, every day of 2005. #18 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on January 2, 2005 11:01 AMRomans 12:9 oh, and my all time favorite quote... Resolution for mankind. A sense of humor. #19 - Posted by: RightWingduck on January 2, 2005 11:06 AMYah-kakakakakaka! Well, blow me down! Thanks for the comments, mateys! I'm strong to the finish, cause I eats my spinach, and visit I-M-A-O! Toot Toot #20 - Posted by: Popeye on January 2, 2005 02:20 PMU.N. resolution 1521: enforce a single resolution passed by ourselves, possibly even saving some lives in the process. Personal resolution: 5 FIRST posts this year. (its harder than it sounds) #21 - Posted by: humanoverlord on January 3, 2005 12:16 AMRe: spelling of Barbra. It's not her parents' fault; she changed it from Barbara. #22 - Posted by: Debbie on January 3, 2005 12:26 PMMichael Moore, eat more? Hmmm. how about Hollyweird? I imagine he'd like it with a little Heinz catsup, and it isn't as though Hollyweird would be any great loss. After being processed by Moore, it'd be back as good as new... in the end. #23 - Posted by: David on January 3, 2005 10:17 PM Post a comment
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