A Trillion Saved Is a Trillion Earned
President Bush has plenty of neat new schemes for his second term, but first he has to reduce spending by billions of dollars. Here are my suggestions:
TOP TEN WAYS FOR THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT TO REDUCE SPENDING
10. Replace corrupt U.N. which steals billions of dollars with less corrupt one that only steals millions.
9. Instead of using expensive laser-guided bombs to take out strategic targets, use nukes and military might to bully enemy countries into bombing selves.
8. Stop paying Ted Kennedy's bar tab.
7. Cut up all federal government credit cards except for one with a three trillion dollar limit that earns Delta sky miles.
6. Limit construction of golden statues of congressman to one per representative and two per senator.
5. You know, that whole scenario from Logan's Run would really save money on Social Security.
4. Each month, rate all bureaucratic agencies on their efficiency and burn to the ground the least efficient one.
3. In the Congress's cafeteria, replace the ketchup in Heinz ketchup bottles with cheaper Hunt's Ketchup and hope no one notices.
2. Start a "Stabbing Is Fun" campaign in the military to save on bullets.
And the number one way for the federal government to reduce spending is...
Stop caring about the poor.
Stumble It!
