A Post by Guest Blogger RightWingDuck.

Friends, CBS will soon be coming out with the resulst of their investigation on the Forged Air National Guard Records. Yes, a complete report after all this time.

Do not be upset this delay. Please understand, it takes two days to decide to air a document, and several months to figure out if it was real.

However, since we are not as bright as those Blue Staters, I decided to put together a translation guide – to better enable you to understand their statements. The Mainstream Media, like all things French, have their own language. Never fear - RightWingDuck is here (Hey, that rhymed).

I present to you..

The RWD Phrasebook of CBS Reporting.

Our goal is to report the facts

We’ll do anything to nuke Bush.

We consulted everything the bloggers have noted

Man, Moxie looks great in go-go boots.

And we held an executive meetings...
Happy Hour, hurray.

And we had many spirited debates.

Drinking, drinking, and RPG barfing.

After a thorough analysis

Where the hell did we put those papers?

And several consultations

Happy Hour!!

With well well known, well respected, professional…

Somebody, who knows somebody,

Typewriting experts

Who knows somebody, who knows my brother-in-law

We can not be sure that these were not originals

We’re too cheap too buy a Selectric typewriter and do a text comparison.

So we made a decision

We flipped a coin

We can’t be sure, but we apologize if people thought we were lying on purpose.
We were lying on purpose.

Dan Rather is deeply embarrassed by all of this..

He’ll never be able to cash a check without 10 forms of ID.

And so is the entire CBS staff.

Is it Happy hour yet?

Good Night.

Cha ching. I’m making big money just for keeping a straight face.

**

There, I hope this better helps you to understand this weird foreign language we keep hearing on TV.

I might have missed something, so tell me if there are any other phrases that may need translating.

BTW, I have a new post up at www.rightwingduck.net regarding this whole Powerline flap with a local columnist on the attack.

Man, these media guys do speak a different language.

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