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January 07, 2005
UN Letters from the front
Posted by RightWingDuck at 06:36 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (10)

Posted with utter humility by guest blogger RightWingDuck.

Friends. Sometimes in our rush to laugh at the United Nations for being so utterly useless, we forget that it is composed of people serving and doing their very best. I came across this letter the other day that I think reminds us of what's truly important in life.

I will continue to post these wonderful letters as I find them.

UN Letters from the front.

My Dearest Claudette:

It has been 24 hours since we landed on this horrible island full of water, dread and misery. No French cuisine anywhere. No opera. No Jerry Lewis festivals playing at the theatre. Oh the humanit. How I long for the wonderful Paris shore. But I have a duty to you and to the United Nations. So here I remain.

Today, we were issued our Toyota Land Rover vehicles. There was a problem at the dealer, but we told them the Americans would be forking over some cash soon. However, all is not good. How can they send us to this mission without the tools we need to carry them out? Of course, for this, we can only blame Monsieur Bush.

My Land Cruiser is missing a CD player. I had all my favorite Jerry Lewis routines recorded onto a CD and now what am I supposed to when I’m driving around looking and listening for survivors?

Not that I can hear anything with that incessant sound of the U.S. Navy helicopters. Really, the Americans love all that military technology, they can get several thousand sailors anywhere in the world in a day or so – you’d think they’d invent a more silent helicopter. I'm sure they do it to annoy us.

My bed is a twin size, when I ordered a King. I said,” I want I Roi size”. They thought I was trying to talk like an American Marine. 'Urah', indeed. Not to mention the fact I forgot to pack my favorite slippers. I’ll have to send my little houseboy out to find me some. I can’t imagine that all of the stores are closed for business. Surely they knew we were coming.

I’ll write more later, cheri. I must turn in for the evening. We have a day full of meetings, and more meetings. After that, our chef will be preparing a lovely Thai dinner in honor of our host nation.

Give everyone a kiss and make sure you complain to everyone about the horrible Americans here in Thailand.

**

Let us remember these fine people in the UN. Let us continue to pray for the survivors and they can continue to survive until help gets to them.


Rating: 1.3/5 (2 votes cast)

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10 Responses To "UN Letters from the front"

Ichiban!!

#1 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on January 7, 2005 06:48 PM

ni! second..how embarrasing..CURSE YOU BOB FEENICKS!! still, pretty funny..nice work duckie...one day you will take over imao..and we will all laugh at frank..what a loser

#2 - Posted by: Settra on January 7, 2005 07:20 PM

Third! Or should I say 'turd' in honor of the Diplomad!

#3 - Posted by: AnAverageAmerican on January 7, 2005 07:23 PM

Sorry, Duckster. Humor requires both truth and exaggeration to be effective.

This one lacks exaggeration ;-)

#4 - Posted by: Harvey on January 8, 2005 02:21 AM

So Kofi Aman wants one billion dollars to keep the UN in out of there so rescue can proceed uninterupted?

#5 - Posted by: toad on January 8, 2005 08:47 AM

Very touching. More please.

#6 - Posted by: Silk on January 8, 2005 09:33 AM

Incredible before and after pics.

#7 - Posted by: McWert Deglieb on January 8, 2005 09:53 AM

For full screen copy and paste.

http://homepage.mac.com/demark/tsunami/1.html

#8 - Posted by: McWert Deglieb on January 8, 2005 09:57 AM

The many. The loud. the UNiweenies.

#9 - Posted by: Dave in Texas on January 8, 2005 03:11 PM

Perfect.

#10 - Posted by: Wil on January 8, 2005 09:06 PM
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