 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
January 26, 2005
As Elections Near, Fear Swells
The Iraqi elections near, and if they play out a certain way, they could have disastrous consequences for many. So many are planning on the outcome to play out as they hope, but, if things go differently, all will collapse for them. Just think of all the horrible things that will happen if the Iraqi elections succeed: * Senatorette Barbara Boxer will be so disenchanted that she will drop out of the Senate and go back to her old job: crack whore. * Ted Kennedy will become even more incoherent and red-faced. He'll be captured by a circus and shown in a traveling freak show through the red states. * That night, Senator Byrd will wet his sheets and have to find something else to wear the next day. * All the posters to Democratic Underground will be so distraught that they can no longer hide from reality of how wacked-out they are. Many will collapse to the ground in epileptic fits while other will try to post but end up just pounding at their keyboards like monkeys. None will produce the greatest novel ever written. * The U.N. will become so irrelevant that it will no longer take up space in its universe. The headquarters will fade from existence. A few New Yorkers will notice and stand there staring at the empty space. When someone bumps into one, he'll exclaim, "Hey! I'm wondering why there ain't a building over here, over here!" * Demand for democracy will spread throughout the Middle East, causing people to rise up against the Saudi royal family. Hundred of Saudi princes will be slaughtered each day which will threaten to end the royal family within only a couple years. * Members of MoveOn.org will spontaneously combust, burning many important upholstered chairs. * The media will struggle harder and harder to come up with convoluted ways to say how poorly Bush is doing until just collapsing into mindless name-calling. Eventually the New York Times will headline "Bush Is a Stupid Chimp Face!" before disappearing forever. * The terrorists in Iraq will be shot by the military... well, more so than usual. * I'll do a happy dance, trip over my new kitten Sydney, suffering the 63rd concussion of my lifetime as my head hits the wall. Unfortunately, the lens cap will have been left on the video camera. * Bush will hold a press conference and laugh that silly laugh of his. Thus, it is imperative we make sure the Iraqi elections fail as so many people are counting on it to. The ones most actively working to thwart the elections are the Remember what Smokey the Bear says: "Only you can prevent democracy from spreading." 17 Responses To "As Elections Near, Fear Swells"
Dont you talk about happy dances, I still havent been able to see the one in the CD!!!!! BTW I thought Ted Kennedy already qualified as a parade float. #1 - Posted by: Rey on January 26, 2005 09:12 AMDU monkeys. That's funny. You forgot to mention fat bastard, I mean Michael Moo HFL should visit Iraq for the election. #2 - Posted by: McWert Deglieb on January 26, 2005 09:16 AMBe careful what you wish for if you're a terrorist. #3 - Posted by: McWert Deglieb on January 26, 2005 09:24 AMFrank, I don't like to throw around accusations all willy nilly, but I'm pretty sure this is another instance of THIEVERY! Your post from today: Senatorette "Barbara Boxer will be so disenchanted that she will drop out of the Senate and go back to her old job: crack whore." From my filthy lie a few days ago: "We can't just sit idly by while freedom is spread across the world!" screamed a frothing Barbara Boxer in McFitzO'Patrick's Irish Pub before she snorted a line of cocaine off of a cheap motel mirror. I'm keepin my eye on you *shakes fist* #4 - Posted by: Chase on January 26, 2005 09:25 AM*thinks the next happy dance should be performened with SarahK.* However, let's keep it at a PG rating or lower . . . #5 - Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft on January 26, 2005 10:04 AMJust because I saw this and you started it, Frank J, I'm going to do me a wee headline right here. Rock, rock on! From Fox News: Congress to reinstate Indian reservations to prevent this from happening again. #6 - Posted by: Junglejake on January 26, 2005 10:05 AMBabs Boxer is MY crack Whore, and part time mop!!! #7 - Posted by: FrankR on January 26, 2005 10:56 AMOh, one last note. Its very important to be sure it's a Mosque. Mistaking a Synagogue, Church, Police Station, Biker Rally, etc. for a Mosque in this plan can have dire consequences. #8 - Posted by: Gekkobear on January 26, 2005 10:57 AMYour scenario, while quite likely, carries hidden dangers. Suppose the UN and NYT, in compressing into nothingness, form a "black hole" singularity in the middle of Manhattan? While a rip in the fabric of space and time might be less unusual than many things you see in NYC, it will still draw more media attention to the city, where everyone who lives there has already been featured on at least 5 TV shows... #9 - Posted by: Bubblehead on January 26, 2005 11:01 AMIt's "Smokey Bear" not "Smokey the Bear". Alas, how soon they forget... "All the posters to Democratic Underground will be so distraught that they can no longer hide from reality of how wacked-out they are. Many will collapse to the ground in epileptic fits while other will try to post but end up just pounding at their keyboards like monkeys. None will produce the greatest novel ever written." Oh, come on, Frank! You should know better than this. If the elections work out right, obviously the conservative state run media is hiding all of the chaos and the election was rigged to allow the George Bush puppet to become elected. Jeeze, don't you know anything?! #11 - Posted by: Junglejake on January 26, 2005 12:01 PMVery Good Frank. Here's a thought... George W Bush starts implementing the Democratic Agenda, and the Democrats become Conservatives in a futile effort to maintain their hate for the other side. Janene GarAwfullyo starts imitating Rush. The entire googleplex of Democrats spontaneously combust and provide enough heat to warm Cincinnati to springlike temperatures for the next 3 weeks. I love it. I hope to dream about it tonight. #12 - Posted by: Cincinnati_Bob on January 26, 2005 01:09 PMBabs Boxer a crack ho? She couldn't give that booty away.... #13 - Posted by: Mongo on January 26, 2005 02:04 PMIt's "Smokey Bear" not "Smokey the Bear". Alas, how soon they forget... The "Smokey Bear" campaign is a dirty Commie plot to rob a hard-working public servant of his definite article! For years and years, he was Smokey the Bear and we liked it that way!! Damned dirty Commies, brainwashing kids like that, it makes me angry!!!1! #14 - Posted by: AWG on January 26, 2005 03:15 PMYou're sure that it's Smokey the Bear who said that? I thought that it was Jacques Chirac. Ooh, look! The number code that I have to enter equals Michael Moore's weight in kilograms! I win something, right? #15 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on January 26, 2005 04:45 PMFool! They aren't Iraqi nationalists, they're freedom fighters, or, as Michael Moore put it, "Minutemen." I don't know how much stock we can put in that last one though. Word is Moore just heard that from their wives. #16 - Posted by: TallDave on January 26, 2005 09:15 PMOh man, I'd pay good money to see the whackos over at DU.com keel-over and croak. #17 - Posted by: Nick Stewart - The Last Call on January 27, 2005 02:59 AMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
