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January 26, 2005
IMAO Exclusive!
What's it with Michelle Malkin and all her exclusives? I want exclusives! You lazy readers need to e-mail me news tips. Then again, that would take me reading e-mails and maybe responding to them... Oh! I'll just make stuff up! * * * * IMAO EXCLUSIVE! MUST CREDIT IMAO! SECRET GROUP FORMED TO OPPOSE WHITE HOUSE NOMINEES! IMAO has just received an exclusive memo through an exclusive source that is quite exclusive. Apparently, it confirms the existence of a special group formed by Senator Byrd to oppose some White House nominees and has as members other prominent Democrats such as Senatorette Boxer and Senator Kennedy. The name of the group is the Kongressional Konfirmation Kabal. Here is the memo as written by Senator Byrd and dated November 31st, 2004: It is our duty as public servants to ensure that all members of the Bush administration are restricted to people of the white race. We know that Bush wishes to promote his negress and give the Attorney General to a Latino, and this we must stop! My initial thought were that we oppose Condoleezza Rice on grounds of her being a black woman and oppose Alberto Gonzales for being too Mexican, but it seems the opinion of the group that we need further reasons to argue against them. Thus, we should meet in secret again to discuss this. Remember to wear your costumes to hide your identities. Also, I remind you that our budget is small, so member Teddy must be more careful not to vomit on his sheets after his afternoon drinking binges. The number of king size sheets sewn together it takes to cover him are expensive to replace. That is all. I'm not sure what all of this means, but I bet it's big big big! Remember to credit IMAO! Credit it! ::shakes fist:: 13 Responses To "IMAO Exclusive!"
First! Andy may I say, the visual I got from that memo was quite comical. I shall look to you for future exlusives. #1 - Posted by: Oddybobo on January 26, 2005 12:39 PMInstead of kingsize sheets couldn't they just use a sail from a large sailboat? Or drapes? #3 - Posted by: JoshG on January 26, 2005 12:46 PMBig Ted has to wear a Big Top . And is the code case sesitive? When I enter capital numbers it looks like punctuation. #4 - Posted by: spacemonkey on January 26, 2005 01:18 PMIsn't it interesting that Hillary is quite likely to alienate all but the most brain dead of her current supporters by becoming a conservative, and that the conservatives will continue to think she is a goofy-goof (Credit: SarahK or her comic strip character for the goofy-goof) because they are smart enough to know just how evil she is? I don't understand this strategy other than to acknowledge that it is merely another incredibly stupid thing in a long line of incredibly stupid things liberals do.. #5 - Posted by: Cincinnati_Bob on January 26, 2005 01:30 PMROTFLMAO..."Hail Lord Voldemort"...that's a very nice touch. Fits well with the idea of the Kongressional Konfirmation Kabal, as anyone who's read the books can tell you....and Byrd of course works best in this, since...well, you all know Byrd's Past Affiliations, don't you? I'm just stating the obvious here.... #6 - Posted by: antodav on January 26, 2005 01:33 PMEXCLUSIVE: Did you know Voldemort spelled backwards is 'Dan Rather'? #7 - Posted by: Bob Burkett on January 26, 2005 02:08 PMActually it would be Rehtar Nad....hey, isn't he on a terrorist watch list? I smell another EXCLUSIVE! or maybe that is just Ted Kennedy's vomit.... #8 - Posted by: Chris on January 26, 2005 02:31 PMThis is great, but why didn't you break Jimmy Carter's involvemnt in the "Oil-for-Peanuts" scandal? #9 - Posted by: Confederate Yankee on January 26, 2005 03:36 PMCREDIT! HAPPY? #10 - Posted by: Tyler on January 26, 2005 09:14 PMQuick! Someone call Dan Rather and get this authentic document on the air! #11 - Posted by: TallDave on January 26, 2005 09:18 PMAnd remember, even if the document can't be sufficiently authenticated, the story is still completely accurate! #12 - Posted by: TallDave on January 26, 2005 09:19 PMPost a comment
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