First!!!! Im glad we dont have ground hogs around these here parts...

A scene from Bill Murray's new film:

Caddyshack II: The Rodent's Revenge

F**king monkeys!

Bob,
They had a Caddyshack II.

D'oh!

Did it have armed rodents?

Drop the cat and back away slowly. You should know I work for Al Gore.

OK, I admit it. I am Al gore. This is Florida, Right?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGggggggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Fooled Ya! I'm really Howard Dean !

That's nothing! Have you seen the Iraqi terrorist's latest coup? They got GI Joe!
http://wizbangblog.com/archives/004955.php

Assuming it's a squirrel (just assume it for a moment):

"Back off or I'll blow your nuts off!"

I know what you're thinkin punk... did he fire 387 or 388... Ya know, in all the excitement of trying to figure out whether I was Al Gore or Howard Dean, I forgot myself, so you just gotta ask yourself one question... Do I have any spare nuts? Well, Do Ya Punk !?

The entire French army on parade

say hello to my little friend..

March 20...That's when spring will arrive. Now...NEVER WAKE ME UP AGAIN!

We have declared a bitter war against the principle of democracy and all those who seek to enact it.

Pika-chu this biatch!

Ooops, forgot to put in the email address. The Pika-chu one was me.

Charles.

I love the smell of my shadow in the morning. Smells like...winter

Whaddaya mean the voting was Sunday? I thought it was Groundhog's Day!

You need guys like me. You need guys like me so you can point your finger and say that's a bad guy.

WARNING:Profanity to follow...

"I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on your Gopher Pyle"

or how about...

"Today you people are no longer gophers. Today you are PRARIE DOGS. You're part of a brotherhood."

Phil had finally had enough of seing Bill Murray day in and day out...

Hasta La Vista, Richard Gere.

Hey! Come back here! I'm friendly! And you dropped your tri-color flag!

Just to show how tough I am, I've gnawed off the butt end of my M-60. . .

New from Underground Pictures...Ground Hawg Day II, The Revenge! To be released Feb 2. If you see his shadow, it means 6 more weeks of destruction! If yousee his shadow...Run!

The terrorists have captured G.I. Joe!

Lt. Fuzzy to the Rescue!

"Go ahead, ya damn human, stick your filthy hand in my home again and see what happens..."

"I hear there is an opening in the GI Joe action figure line, where do I sign up? I wanna shoot me some terrorists!"

PETA?

We don't need no stinking PETA.

Candian Infantry

You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the f--k do you think you're talkin' to?

"Getting stoned and going shooting always seems like a such a great idea and then all I can do is sit here and stare. I can't feel my left foot. Dam."

or...

"I'll bet if I can hit that highway worker at this distance he totally explodes. Huh."

From the inner entrails of Richard Gere came -- Preparation D - for Death!

When an action figure is in trouble - who do you call. Hamsterbo!

Yo Santa! Here's to the spirit of my season! I coming for YOU!

i'm cold. that !@#$ shadow better stay inside.

Which part of NO DECAF did you not understand?!

"Running short of jihadists, Osama resorts to the third string."

Hi Joker! I am in a world of sh*t!

"Congress has given the Pentagon important new authority to fight terrorism by authorizing Special Operations forces for the first time to spend money to pay informers and recruit foreign paramilitary soldiers."

http://www.iht.com/articles/2005/02/01/news/spy.html

Did you just call me a gopher?!? A GOPHER?!?

Laugh, will you? Laugh at me always searching for my shadow? Well you ain't gonna be laughing for long b!tches!

"After careful analysis, the DOD has determined the exact number of forces and firepower we will administer to help defend our ally France from invasion..."

Spring 2005 HBO presents: Band of Gophers

Having run out of willing bombers, opium addicts and retards, Wacky Al Zaqy sends in his last wave.
A retarded ground skwerl hopped up on opium...

That's groundWARhog, dammit!

That's groundWARhog, dammit!

Not exactly a caption, but along the line of something I came up with earlier today:

Soon Iraqis will be celebrating Groundhog Day. When the Groundhog emerges from his den into the streets of Baghdad, according to legend, if he is killed by a roadside bomb or mortar attack then the Americans will be in Iraq 6 months longer than normal.

Iraqi insurgents have been recently spotted hiding in holes around the countryside. If they stick their heads out and see their shadow, it means four more weeks of US occupation.

OR

Building on their sucess in training dolphins to hunt down and disable underwater mines, the US military has begun training another, furrier type of mammal to hunt down and disable underground insurgents. The program shall be known as Operation: Caddyshack.

The last time Buck the Marine saw his beloved pet, they were on their way to a covert mission in the White House press room. 'Bucky' was supposed to man a sniper position to provide cover, but Chomps had missed the briefing and unfortunately mistook Bucky for a monkey.

Groundhog Day is ovah? Nothin' is ovah! Nothin'! Ya jus' don' turn it off!

It rained a lot on Groundhawg Day. Ah seen all kinds a-rain. Little bitty stingin' rain... big ol' fat rain... rain that come in sideways... and sometimes rain even seemed ta come up from undahneath.

Hand over your nuts!

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has a new pet gopher.

"Good, Bad, It's a freaking gopher with a gun!”

I heard Bun-Bun was recruiting for his Pirate Ship.

"I smell groundskeeper poontang. The only good groundskeeper poontang is dead groundskeeper poontang. I think.
I love the smell of dead groundskeeper poontang in the morning...it smells like victory".

"Fuzzy! You got point"

"Jeez, Sarge, don't make him point again. He's always scrambling down gopher holes too small for anyone else to follow."

Groundhog's Day II: This time the shadow sees you.

"Then when France is mine, The cheese eating surrender monkeys will bring me various nuts to feast upon." (ground hogs eat nuts right?

"Who's in command here?"

"Ain't you?"

Woodland Critters Christmas : Part Deux

or

"You've given me mouth-to-mouth for the last time, John Kerry"

Iraqi Militants Post Photo of Solider who Kidnapped GI Joe Cody. Allah Be Praised, sources report.

Osama Bin Laden after extensive plastic surgery. "Fear my shadow"

"Punxsutawney....I was still in Punxsutawney..."

"Lions and tigers and squirrels! Oh my!"

"Fed up with the inability of the U.N. to protect his nuts, Sammy takes matters into his own paws."

"What the f**k's the ElTee thinkin' puttin' a short-timer like me on point?!?!?"

"Even though he lost a finger on his left paw during the first Battle of Faluja, Sammy wanted to get back into action. 'I couldn't let my buddies down!' he said."

"Gunny, I know we'er supposed to, like, think outside the box and all but these new Ghilley Suits* are...well...weird!"

(*The camo suits that snipers wear)

Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by groundhogs with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Skrewwy Squirrel? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Elmer Fudd and you curse the Bugs Bunnies. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Fudd's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post! Beeeyotch!

F*** my shadow! John Adam is in trouble! I'm goin' in!

How much can _you_ chuck, smart guy?

You have till the count of 3 to hand over the trail mix.

That Marine Mouse might be able to chew his way through a maze, but I got me some heavy firepower! Ninjas, look out!

I'm off to be recruited by the Marines.....

"The other hampsters prepare a daring rescue attempt to recover their beloved Lemmiwinks"

"And I have this to say to all the shadows out there: Bring it on!" the groundhog said to the shock of democrats everywhere.

"The question you need to ask yourself is: do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, Punxsutawney?"

Enraged that weather forcasters haven't figured out a way to predict the onset of spring without waking him up, Phil decides it's time to go meteorological on their asses.

"Now is the winter of your discontent!"

Sgt. Hambone Hamster, star of the new Disney musical, Hamsters in Hell.

The Riverbottom Nightmare Band has stolen it's last song...

a well-armed militia ready to defend liberty

"Some call me...Phil."

"Here comes that creepy guy in the funny tophat...stick your cold hands in my armpits, will you?"

"Jeebus, LT, there's fieldmice in the wire! Blow the claymore! Bustin' boo-coo caps! Get some! Get some!"

Cribbing from loudog:

"Gopher Pyle, USMC"

"As fearsome as Sparky looked in his fighting gear, it mattered not to the icy clutches of death...and the right front tire of the Kia Sedona. Private Sparky, KIA."

What soldier would drive a car with the initials for "Killed in Action" anyway? Just wonderin'.

Go ahead. Ask me one more time if I see my shadow.

A photo was released today through al-Jeezera that militants have taken an American groundhog hostage. The groundhog appeared to be expressionless.

"Yes, Arnold, we'll finance another 'Rambo' movie, but first you're gonna have to lose some weight. . . and shave."

"Bring it on Le France!"

"I am Jabba-the-squirrel!"

OK, everyone, now modulate, B-seventh to E major, that's right, and now strum, strum, and 'Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition...' "

Seven, six, two. Full metal jacket. LOCK AND LOAD!

Sneak Preview!! Valve releases model of new Freeman ally in Half-Life 3! Barney replaced!

To Quote Brigadier General McAuliffe: Nuts!

"Dang it, why does the Armadillo squad get all the body armor."

"Does this gun make my butt look big?"

Maybe now that sexy Risawn will go out with me!

Damn, Osama, livin' underground has been hard on you...

BADGERS !!! We don't need no stinkn' badgers !!!

The battles between the Minnesota Gophers and the Wisconsin Badgers turn ugly.

DEATH AWAITS YOU ALL...with big nasty pointy teeth.

What? That?

I tell you that's the most vile rodent you've ever set your eyes upon. Just...look...look...the bones...

********************************************************************************

I swear to God if that &*^%%^$ shadow comes around stalking me again this *&^%@ year I'm gonna...

Even the 3rd Ground Hog Division uses the SAW.

"Roadkill? My A$$! ! !"