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February 10, 2005
Gotta Target Something
I had to assume that someone as esteemed as Eason Jordan of CNN was telling the truth, so I asked a number of troops why they target reporters. The common answers given happened to be ten in number, so: THE TOP TEN REASONS GIVEN BY U.S. TROOPS FOR TARGETING REPORTERS 10. "A bullet is just the same as saying, 'No comment.'" 9. "One person’s Reuters reporter is another person's terrorist." 8. "It's a common sentiment among Marines that the coverage of the Michael Jackson trial is particularly slanted." 7. "Those cameras look quite a bit like a rocket launchers... you know, if you squint a bit and ignore the reflection off the lens." 6. "Running out of other targets." 5. "Actually targeting any anti-American wackos, but reporters just happen to be the most available examples." 4. "One asked me what kind of tree I would be, and I didn't take a liking to it." 3. "Was cleaning the tank and it accidentally went off. What of it?" 2. "They were unable to answer who won the last World Series, so I assumed them to be Soviet spies." And the number one reason given by U.S. troops for targeting reporters… "They're reporters." 28 Responses To "Gotta Target Something"
Excellent Frank.And numbers 9 and 2 have more truth than some folks realize. ;) #1 - Posted by: Moe on February 10, 2005 09:20 AMFirst! Mucho Funny! #2 - Posted by: Matt on February 10, 2005 09:21 AM1st? aww...I type too slow #4 - Posted by: on February 10, 2005 09:22 AMim slow :( still best ever #5 - Posted by: urban on February 10, 2005 09:22 AMYou forgot one: It's fun to watch reporters scramble for cover because they scream and run like little girls. #6 - Posted by: Frank L. on February 10, 2005 09:29 AM"Was cleaning the tank and it accidentally went off. What of it?" Yeah! That happens to me all the time! Uhmm...I mean...nevermind. #7 - Posted by: Chris on February 10, 2005 09:31 AMAhahaha... "Nuke the Whales!" "Nuke the whales?" "I dunno. Gotta nuke something." Hahaha, "bomb the Arabs and take their oil! Bomb the Indians and take their casinos!" - The great 20th Century philosopher, Nelson Muntz. #8 - Posted by: Beo on February 10, 2005 09:39 AMYes, kill *anybody* who thinks the Yankees won the last World Series!!! #9 - Posted by: Jeff H on February 10, 2005 10:08 AMSide Note: the number one reason given by military from Texas: Wouldn't Russian spies make sure to know who won the World Series just in case they're ever asked? Heck, *I* don't know who won the Series--except last year, of course, because the Sox finally won. Go Sox! "Now, hop on one foot, while juggling three balls and singing the French National Anthem." "Gosh your drunk tests are hard!" from the Man with Two Brains...I think. #12 - Posted by: Chris on February 10, 2005 11:21 AMGood stuff! #13 - Posted by: 007 on February 10, 2005 11:22 AMThis is possible one of your best ever...my laughter did insight a lot of lefties in my dorm to come and read it....their reactions were almost as funny as the post itself! #14 - Posted by: Ben on February 10, 2005 11:26 AM"A BULLET IS THE SAME AS NO COMMENT" that hurt my ribs i laughed so hard. #15 - Posted by: Blaine on February 10, 2005 11:27 AMHA! I also like "they needed killin'" Gosh durned reporters. I happen to have the 10 rules for the reporters' targetting of the military with negative stories: According to Eason Jordan, it was all a misunderstanding. They are supposed to be targetting terrorists with negative stories, but keep mistaking the US Military for terrorists. See? #16 - Posted by: PlutosDad on February 10, 2005 11:50 AMWow!! The funny is on today!! Those are all hilarious!! #17 - Posted by: jonag on February 10, 2005 11:55 AMFrank J. just needed SarahK close to get his mind back on his funny. :) #19 - Posted by: MountainMama on February 10, 2005 12:23 PMI don't understand what Jordan is talking about. I thought everyone knew it was OK to target journalists. what gives? #20 - Posted by: natenewton on February 10, 2005 01:08 PMOMG Frank, I needed some serious funny today and as usual, you've come through for me! I love #s 8 and 9. #21 - Posted by: LC ima mommy on February 10, 2005 01:39 PMAll good IMAO readers know that this came straight from the top! The SecDef not only OK'd the targets, he personally trained the troops in live fire drills. OORAAH! #22 - Posted by: LynnGunn on February 10, 2005 02:05 PMreporters need to be killed because most of them are red sox fans. it was the lunar eclipse that did it; it blocked the curse. well, there wont be another one of those this year, that's for sure; we will nuke the goddam moon out of existence if it tries to interfere with another yankee victory this year...so watch out, ayatollah khameini and kim jong il; you're not kidding new yorkers, you know. we know you bastards are red sox fans too. see if we dont nuke your asses off the face of the earth just for hoohahs this year. #23 - Posted by: akaky on February 10, 2005 04:35 PMAl-Qaeda, Al-Jazeera...who can keep track? #24 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on February 10, 2005 05:17 PMVery good!!! Reporter...rhymes with target. Well almost does. Yer pal Bullseye #26 - Posted by: BULLSEYE on February 10, 2005 10:17 PMNumber 5 would be hilarious if it wasn't true (mostly). #27 - Posted by: Master & Chief on February 12, 2005 01:09 AMMSM Reporters are (in my opinion of most of them) nothing more than the propaganda arm of the terrorists! I won't give them the time of day because it would be taken out of context. But I won't target them either (even though it would help the cause of spreading real freedom and democracy to the people of the world.) All they do is fuel the evil cause of terrorism (to destroy freedom,) all in the name of leftwing (demoncrat) partisanship! What has Saddam and the terrorists (aka "freedom...haha...fighters) done to help these people? Why does the MSM refuse to report what great strides we (U.S. soldiers) have made in increasing the standard of living and value of life in these parts? It's all about looney leftwing (demoncrat) partisanship. They lost the election because they don't stand for anything worth a sh**. HOOOOOOAAAAHHH A deployed soldier. #28 - Posted by: Master Sergeant on February 12, 2005 08:23 PMPost a comment
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