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February 18, 2005
Glenn Reynolds vs. President's Day
Because Glenn Reynolds is an evil puppy-blending, Satan-worshipping, hobo-murderer who loves Communism, he is forever trying to destroy America and everything it stands for. Monday, February 21st, is President's Day. Since our Presidents are our most recognizable symbol of American power, Glenn Reynolds will be frothing with Commie-loving rage that day, and will stop at nothing to undermine America's glory. Realizing that American Presidents are most often seen on American currency - the purest symbol of Capitalism, which Glenn hates because he's an evil, filthy Commie - Glenn has hatched a foul plot to place his own despicable visage on our sacred dollars. Through means which I am not at liberty to disclose for national security reasons, I have obtained a badly photoshopped image of Glenn's creation, which I've placed in the extended entry:
When informed that Benjamin Franklin wasn't actually a President, and that it was therefore pointless to deface the 100 dollar bill, Reynolds responded, "How DARE you question my actions! Do you know who I am? I am the great Glenn R.! Worship me!" This public service message was brought to you by the Alliance of Free Blogs, who would like to remind you that friends don't let friends blog drunk. INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST! 19 Responses To "Glenn Reynolds vs. President's Day"
FIRST! #1 - Posted by: Colin on February 18, 2005 09:14 PMYou forgot the part about Glenn being a Frank puncher #2 - Posted by: Greg Sullivan on February 18, 2005 09:32 PMPatience, patience. A lot of readers have completely forgotten about Frank's Filthy Lies and the Alliance of Free Blogs, and I wanted to ease them back into it slowly. All will be revealed in due course. #3 - Posted by: Harvey on February 18, 2005 09:56 PMHe murders hobos? Cool! You forgot to mention he's a racist, because he wears one of those gun shirts. I wear one too, but am not a racist because I'm not a law professor. #4 - Posted by: Steve Skubinna on February 18, 2005 09:59 PMI think they like to be called "Transient Americans".Ahh,screw'em,you're right.They're hobos. #5 - Posted by: Moe on February 18, 2005 10:14 PMPresident Bush deserves prison time for his deceptions and international arson. #6 - Posted by: Collin Baber on February 18, 2005 11:28 PMShouldn’t the currency have red splatter symbolizing puppy blood or hobo’s blood? #7 - Posted by: Tyler on February 18, 2005 11:30 PMI'm just curious about one thing. When you make the tie between The Puppy Blender and President's Day...the question begs to be asked. Why then, is President's Day the biggest day for mattress sales of the year? Do you think the fact it is because he goes into such a rage (explained by Harvey) the hobos are all afraid and do extra begging and rush out to purchase mattresses to hide behind? Huh? Almost sound like a possibility. #8 - Posted by: Tammi on February 19, 2005 01:10 AMNote to Glenn Reynolds: Collin Baber is a hobo. You know what to do... Tyler: Yes, it should, but I was too friggin' lazy to photoshop that in there. Tammi: If you've ever seen the movie Hellraiser, you'd know that most murders are committed on mattresses - usually on President's day. Therefore, hobo-killers (like Glenn), would naturally want to go out and buy a NEW mattress to replace the blood-soaked mess in their bedrooms. All quite obvious, if you think about it :-) #9 - Posted by: Harvey on February 19, 2005 01:48 AMMy weblog works now! *ahem* Of course, there's also the fishy matter of using the counterfit Glenn money in the pet stores to BUY puppies and blenders with. Then again, the book of Punditry does state "The evil one will one day be hoisted by his own petard slash blender." I wonder if there's a connection THERE. #10 - Posted by: The Babaganoosh on February 19, 2005 06:16 AMI've heard they are considering making "Hammer the Hobos" a demonstration sport at the next Olympics... if so Puppy Blender should do his country proud. :) #11 - Posted by: JaySwash on February 19, 2005 09:59 PMNew cars New cars Mini Cooper Chevrolet Dodge Viper Toyota
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