first!

D*MN YOU, FRENCHIE!

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

No. But when I do, I'll know what to do!

Goodness me, that has to be among the finer retorts-for-a-post kind of entries I've yet seen on the site (and you know there've been some good ones). So eloquantly stated, so artfully crafted ... so damn to the point.

Way to go Meester J.

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
No one, I'm sorry I said anything, can I go now?

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I write computer programs and am surrounded by Indians (the kind from India)

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
I read it, does that count?

4. Do you even read newspapers?
What is this "paper"?

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
I enjoy the Money Honey Maria Bartiromo, and CNN's Robin Meade, who was stolen from us in Chicago 2 years ago.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
What is this "radio"?

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
What is this "fax"? Why are you bandying about these old tech terms? I have no idea what you're talking about.

All my correespondance and typing is done on my Treo650. So... please rephrase your questions to be about that.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Because the ACLU will complain if we bitch-slap them.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
No passport. I see other countries on tv, like England, Australia, Ireland, and New Zealand. You mean those?

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
I went to Little America (Canada) once when I was a kid visiting my relatives who live in the UP. They told me Canada was a penal colony for cowards who won't fight, which is why they speak a different language up there.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
I am too fat from all the bratwurst and beer. Plus, I prefer to send the poor and black people to do my fighting for me.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
Yes my girlfriend likes to .. oh face? I thought you said "feces".

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
See last question.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Pluto's Dad, daddy to Pluto (Esp on Valentines day) This is pluto: http://www.geocities.com/chrisb76/Pluto_Pics.html

I have experience in journalism. I married a journalist.

It isn't the length of the needles but the frequency I have to get my booster shots updated that's killing me.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

I've been to Detroit, does that count?

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

Had my share of shots fired at me while working in back yards there for three months. That was enough for me.

Done and done...

Mitsurugi's Answers

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

Who the hell are you to ask??

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

I help make the software your sorry-ass blog runs on. Piss me off, see what happens.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

I had sex with an anchorwoman once. Does that count?

4. Do you even read newspapers?

Maybe. What's it to you?

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

No.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

Yeah, and used to be a moron talk radio talker

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

Fax? What the hell is that? I get IMs

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

No reason.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

I have a passport that I only show reluctantly because it has some naughty country stamps on it.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

See Answer 9

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

'Cause I already served, mofo, defending your sorry butt from the Commies!

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

Many times, after taking hallucinagens.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

See Answer 12.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

I already told you. FOAD!

you do your thing, Frank ... you do your thing ....

dumbass...
idiot..
fascist...
dumb hick...

Damn, for a minute there I thought I was reading an Oliver Willis post.

XD
Kick ass!!

Frank J.

A work of genius!

But I would add another Q arising out of Rathergate, along with a suggested answer:

Q. Who are you lowly bloggers to question our facts? We, the MSM, are the experts. By Definition. By having been anointed as such.

A. A fact is a fact & a non fact is still a non fact regardless of who presents it. By all means, slay the fact-presenting blogger messenger if that makes you fulfilled, but how 'bout them pesky facts?

TomCom

You may want to turn in to the CNN symposium on the topic: Bloggers: Threat or Menace?

BLOGGER QUIZ

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

Just an average, hard working, American citizen trying to raise a family and do my duty for God and country.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

Active duty U.S. military.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

Yes, many years writing news stories for various media outlets in addition to experience as radio/television broadcaster.

4. Do you even read newspapers?

Yes, my local paper and the NYT, WP, and USA Today...but blogs are getting much better at telling the whole story.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

Yes, I watch Fox and all the other cable news stations plus some of the alphabet big three (but no more C.BS for me after Rathergate)

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

Moron? No! But I'll admit to being a talk radio listener--how else to get "the rest of the story"?

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

Never. But what the heck, maybe they've tried to send one, but I don't have a fax machine.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

Bloggers for the most part don't want to silence or fire anyone (without just cause), we just want the truth from media. We call into account those who make outrageous statements so "we the people" can make up our own minds on the issues.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

What would you like to know, just ask...yes, I'm that knowledgeable!

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

Lived in Italy for 5 years, visited numerous european and middle eastern countries.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

Guess you didn't read my answer to Q#2.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

"I will always do my duty no matter what the price. I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrifice."

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

Once on an aircraft carrier had to wipe my a with my hand since the john had no t.p.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

Wow, attention to detail surely isn't your strong point. Please ask again later.

Answers

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

An American.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

No, the VRWC pays me in 17th century Spanish gold dubloons to grab on to MSM backside like a vicious Rottweiler and not let go until The Lord returns.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

No, but a guy I met in a bar once told me something and I then told somebody else about it. Does that count?

4. Do you even read newspapers?

Hell no! That kind of brainwashing is soooo 20th century

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

Other than C-Span, no.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

Does NPR count? Then guilty as charged.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

The GOP beams my orders from their satelite directly into the chip they implanted in my brain. Fax is soooo 20th century.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

See answer to #7, above

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

Other countries? You mean like Afghanistan? As for passports, we don't need them: we get flown around in black helicopters. Look up!

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

I was in Berkeley once, does that count?

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

I did try to sign up, but I was too eager and they were worried I would shoot "journalists" and stuff, so they said no. Apparently the army only wants very serious, motivated and trained professionals these days. Oh well.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

I once reached into the LA Times to pull out the sports section. Does that count as "goo"?

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

See above.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

Batman!

Well let's see....

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

I am johnm I am, I am. Who the hell are you?

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

No actually I work in IT for a major telco. I am in that 5% of earners who are holding up the other 95% of the social security system. So get up off your ass and get a second job, you Columbia J school graduate you.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

No and obviously neither does Dan Rather or Mary Mapes. Neither one could discern forgeries of the printed word. Seems like I qualify based on their expose'.

But I also hold an AS in Chemistry, a BS in Chemistry, Electrical Enginering and Computer Science, a MBA in Business and a Doctorate in Business. I think that covers the waterfront.

So whatya you got snooty?

4. Do you even read newspapers?

Yes of the online kind. It's kinder on the environment and faster.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

Well actually I don't have much time to watch Fox either. See the answer to 2 above.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

Actually yes. But then I don't listen to NPR so I think we are even.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

See 4 above. Fax is so passe'. If you are not doing IM at least you are a nobody. If you have to ask what IM is, then you don't have the brains to use it.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

Actually yes. But selectively, only the stupid ones. I can't help it if they happen to originate from the DNC and DailyKOS.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

Actually I do own a passport. Been to Germany, France, England, Russia, Poland, Bahamas, Bermuda, Gernada, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, BVI, USVI, Mexico. Have you made it out of East LA yet?

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

See 9.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

Becuase I was too young for Vietnam and too old for Desert Storm. What's your excuse?

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

No goo but I have put three friends in the ground. They served. They paid the ulitmate price.

You J school enlistee on the other hand, trot out of the Green zone once an afternoon under cover of Marine M60's. You go back to your hotel and sip bottled spring water and canapes' and do a video around 1am. Must be a shitty job.

On the other hand the kid with the M60 goes back to a bivwac, heats up a MRE and cleans the gun(s). Sleeps in a fox hole and hopes a mortar doesn't get lobbed into camp tonight.

Whose the patriot?

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

Is there an echo? See 12.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

See 1. By the way, since you seem to be repeating yourself you might want to seek psychological help. By the way you might also want to check the BLS on what J school graduates earn. It's less than a second year high school teacher.

Have a nice life!

Thanks for asking the questions, Frank. I think they reflect the MSM (and the left of Blogania's) attitudes.

A reactionary right wing blogger's answers:

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Jesus Christ, Superstar.
2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I give free blowjobs to dogs and hobos on streetcorners, which is three steps up from being a journalist.
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
No, unless you count f***ing for money. That’s pretty close, ain’t it?
4. Do you even read newspapers?
I urinate on them. I’d rather not pollute my mind, or my floor.
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Yes, I watch CBS news agit-prop, CNN news tripe, and I believe everything written on the score crawl on the scoreboard at the ballpark. I also read palms, tea leaves, and chickedove guts.
6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
No, I listen to the radio where they don’t use words. They call it “static” where I’m from, fucko. Go blow Al Franken or something.
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Polly wanna sh** on you, bozo. Polly wanna sh** on you.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
We don’t want to silence them. We want to hear their screams as they burn at the stake.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
I had a Passport but I traded it in on a MONSTER, MONSTER, MONSTERRRRRR TRUCK
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
I went to France what but they fled in terror in advance of my arrival. The only thing they left behind were a bad smell, and some soiled underpants. Though the soiled underpants may have been a surrender flag, now that I think about it. I’ve always heard that they don’t wear underpants in France, but maybe that’s just a dumb talk radio song.
11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
I’ve been a couple times. How bout you, chickenchicken?
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
No, I haven’t. I’ve tried to counsel disconsolate refugees who had their tongues ripped out though. And I did once pick up a friend’s leg. Well, the legbone, and his foot, which was still in the boot. Well made boots, them combat boots. But no, I never have reached into a pile of goo that was my best friend’s face, so you really got me there.
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Only a huge pile of liberal shit. Only it may have been a sociology grad student, I’m not sure. Ah hell, same diff.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Not a liberal, phony-pacifist anti-American shitbird weaselfucker. And that’s enough.

Blogs are destructive. I read so many of them that I don't have time to read the NYT or WaPo.

Random Birkel's answer here.

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

-See my FAQ

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

-Tech Support

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

-I like to read.

4. Do you even read newspapers?

-When I take a crap at work, I sometimes do.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

-I don't even watch FOX.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

-Busted.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

-Master Rove prefers that we not discuss that. I want a cracker.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

-Because we are running dog lackeys of the Zionist War Machine.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

-I have one, yes.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

-Yes. A couple, not counting Mexico.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

-Old, married, and out of shape. If I were in my early twenties, I'd probably be in MARPAT already. I almost went that route instead of SU. Instead, I heap praise upon my young friends who now wear cammies and risk death on my behalf.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

-Busted. I did deliver pizza in a bad part of town, vaguely Mogadishu-like on Fridays.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

-Busted. But I don't want to talk about it.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

-See my FAQ

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Just a dumb ol' helicopter mechanic with an engineering degree.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I did that when I was in high school.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
Hmmm. Does being published in three different magazines, an encyclopedia, and professional journals count?

4. Do you even read newspapers?
Is there anything of value in them any more?

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Seldom watch any television "news".

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Only the one I appear on.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
They can reach me via email if they want to make contact.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Disagreement is healthy. Lies are not.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Actually, I have three. One for certain countries, one for others who don't like those countries, and a personal one.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Four of the seven continents, some countries you probably couldn't find on a globe.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
Had mine. Several.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
No, but I've carried a few body bags that felt like they were filled with nothing but goo. Have you?

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
More than once.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Did I mention my masters degree in International Relations?

1. Who the hell do you think you are? I am a retired 74 year old great grandma – who are you?

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass? I am retired and love it.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot? I get a lot of Letters to the Editors published in the local paper.

4. Do you even read newspapers? I love the local throw away – news about all of my neighbors.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool? I do like Fox, but spend a lot of time on HGTV, finding out how to redecorate my home and garden.

Kathy

I posted mine on my own blog

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Whoever I thinketh I am so shall I be. Dumbass.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I called you a dumbass first, moron, and no... I don't work in a fast food restaurant. I work at a very exclusive
establshment that only serves French pastry and green teas... imported green teas. I consider myself an emissary
of the educated, delivering refreshments to the small prolatariat,err, little people.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
What? Experience in journalism? YOu are asking me if I have experience in Journalism? Is that really your question? Well, I am
insulted.

4. Do you even read newspapers?
Only the New York Times and some cool European newspapers that I would tell you about, but you obviously wouldn't recognize the names cause
like I said, they're cool.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
I only watch the BBC... They are so much more educated in Europe.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
PBS, BBC, Garrison Kieller and the such, yes. Hoping for a Bill Moyers show soon so I can be informed of the TRUTH.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
I think not.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Look, I am on the left here. It isn't a matter of firing or silencing... it is cleansing. If you want to believe that rightwing
crap, then you should be kille...., un. cleansed of such unpure thought.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
I love the freedom of the French people most. The way they are so free to stink really bad, and those hairy arm pits show that
their enlightenment is so much beyond our 'red state' hick creeps. They should be shot. The red staters that is, not the, err, hairy French chicks.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Have I ever been to another country? No, cause Bush wont let me leave. The Patriot act has taken all of our rights away and I fear not having the right papers when I cross into Missouri...

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
As soon as the military abandons its violent ways and realizes that we can achieve so much more by working with the terrorists to gain their trust. Help them find themselves.
If we lose a couple of cities, its ok. As long as they are red state cities...

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
Gross. I think I will have a cup of delicious imported green tea.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Well, yes, but I had accidentally swallowed that key and needed it back.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
I am lost... totally lost.

Here's my list of answers.

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

An American who cares about truth, unlike most journalists and the entire left wing.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

I'm not a lawyer, doctor or professor, like many rightwing bloggers ARE, but I'm a broadcaster and former station owner.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

As much as Jayson Blair did when he got hired. No, more.

4. Do you even read newspapers?

only 3 a day, although I have to grit my teeth to get through the Houston Chronicle.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

Other news programs are hard to take. I watched CNN International for 3 1/2 years during my European deployment, and that should last me a lifetime.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

No, but I appear on talk shows every day. I am usually working too hard to actually listen to them.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

I've received only one piece of paper from the GOP in my life, a fund raising appeal which I ignored.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

I prefer that lefties keep talking. It's easier for people to get to know you, and that's a good thing.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

My passport has a Russian visa sticker in it, along with multiple entries from every Euro country, including Greece. I speak French. I've lived in several foreign countries.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

see above.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

I'm 44 and fat. But I do donate to lots of causes which help the boys.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

No, but I had some friends in the WTC.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

Only when I read Daily Kos and Atrios.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

Ask me that to my face. I'm not too old and fat to give you the appropriate answer.

You can read my responses to the questions at Thoughts of A Medic

I have a degree in journalism from UNC-Chapel Hill and have been in the field since 1990.

Not only am I a blogger, I'm a journalist as well. Now I can hate myself.

1. My blog tells much about me and my opinions.
2. For 43 years, I was a defense system engineer and project manager. I am now retired, and have time to blog!
3. Writing, yes, the liberal kind of journalism, hell no!
4. Newspapers, yes. The NYT, WAPO, and TD.
5. I watch many "news programs" just to get my blood boiling.
6. No, little or no talk radio. I read blogs a lot of the time.
7. Oh yes! I get at least two emails a day from the leadership, mostly to ask for money. They seldom change my opinions on anything.
8. For similar reasons that the Left wants to get rid of Bush...we don't want our carpets soiled by Lefties.
9. Good question! I lived in Europe for over 13 years all told, and still run over there for visits yearly.
10. Probably more countries than you have, and for longer than a day or two.
11. My time in the service was during the Korean War.
12. Reaching into goo doesn't qualify anyone for anything but upchuck. Korea, was not for pantywaists.
13. You seem to be fixated on goo, especially that of a friend. Most of us that have been spattered by parts of good men and friends try their best to put it out of mind. It tends to warp the brain in strange ways, don't you agree?
14. Read http://rightwordsdaily.blogspot.com/

Frank, have you been watching "Patton" in your underwear again and yelling "Spank me!" during the slap scene?

here is mine, read it for I am a attention whore

http://kabasue.com/blog/index.php?p=165

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
- I'm Big D, the Pennsylvanian in Exile

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
- I'm a commercial underwriter, cancelling insurance policies for fun

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
- yep, sportswriter for my college newspaper

4. Do you even read newspapers?
- online versions of several papers from around the country and world, including the Telegraph and J-Post

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
- hell no

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
- yep, especially Boortz

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
- nope, Karl Rove sends it to me telepathically, like Dr Xavier

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
- I don't like silencers, they don't work on my 12 gauge

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
- Going to Peru in August!

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
- been to Canada, and going to Peru later this year

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
- too old, guess I have to kill infidels on my own

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
- Saving Private Ryan was pretty cool.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
- let's leave your mother out of this

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

I'm the man of the hour, the tower of power, too sweet to be sour!

1. a grandma
2. RN-that's registered nurse for the uneducated (but fully indoctrinated) such as yourself.
3. only dredging through the b.s. that's published on a daily basis, and this old farmgirl has plenty of experience in spotting that. yes, from real cows ding-dong.
4.newspapers are irrelevant, dated and whores for advertisers.
5. hehehehe, none at all
6. no, don't listen to NPR except for the music--and car talk
7. not as many as you get from the DNC
8. have me confused with the MSM there, cowboy.
9. yes
10. a whole handful and three fingers.
11. they don't take grandmas.
12. have YOU ever dressed a bedsore the size of a frying pan on a man's back so deep your could see the coccyx exposed? Have YOU ever watched a 21 year old man die without his family present because he had AIDS? Have YOU ever taken care of anyone on a respirator? Or watched someone bleed to death? I think not.
13. See #2, occupation RN. seen and cleaned more than you can imagine. sheesh. you show about as much fascination with goo as my 2 year old grandson, but without the maturity.
14. If you still have to ask that, you haven't been listening, or lack the reasoning and cognative skills to pull this together. (ivory towered hermit she muttered to herself.)

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Award-winning author on strategy, self-made multi-millionaire, award-winning entrepreneur, and a blogger.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
Own a publishing company, write a lot of books, do a lot of corporate training, but I am financially independent so I do it all for fun.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
Written for a number of magazines, spent a few years as editor of a technical mag, and appear on a few hundred radio shows every year offering strategic insights, other than that, no...

4. Do you even read newspapers?
When I can't get to the Internet, usually when I am out of town at a hotel that doesn't support wireless, the dumbasses...

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
I kind of have to, they keep inviting me as a guest and kind of expect me to know who they are.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
I do a lot of NPR, does that count?

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Sound fun, how to I get on the list?

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Actually, that never occurred to me. I don't even agree with myself half the time.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Tey keep translating my books into all these funny languages so I have a big map with pins in it. My own form of world conquest...

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
They keep flying me all around the world to speak to people from World Bank and such organization, so I kind of have to. The food can be pretty good at time. At other times, not so much.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
Too old and before that, too physically pathetic. Came from a military family (both Dad and MOM) so it was kind of embarassing.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
Know the horrors of war from many family stories, but realize that war is the only cure for tyranny and that tyranny kills many more people than war. My best friend died of cancer. It wasn't his face that turned to goo but his liver.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
That is getting a little too personal.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Husband, father, and someone who cares about people, or tries to, at least some of the time.

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

4. Do you even read newspapers?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

Why, is this what you'd rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?

Whoever made this quiz is an absolutely HYPOCRITICAL & LIBERAL EXTREMIST that is mentally deranged. He needs to see a psychiatrist real quick before he goes out & murders someone. His questions show he has no class, intelligence or education. He'd be the first one to defend the free speach rights of his left wing media propaganda machine. Then he's also be the first one to take away the rights of anyone he disagrees with.

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

I know who I am, who are you?

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

I clean out stables, pitching manure, like journalists get news.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

Do journalists have experience like being human? I'm a human.

4. Do you even read newspapers?

Yes, I read toilet paper like the NYT and Washington Post.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

Fox News, you mean the news from those hunts Britain outlawed?

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

Duh, yep, I listen to the radio, get my news from Grand Ole Oprey.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

I didn't know Repubicans are parrots! Better than being a Demorat buzzards I guess.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

Cuz, they is wrong to tell lies about others, even lying journalists.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

I've been to Hawaii, England, Germany, Netherlands, Belgium, Italy, Switzerland, France, Monaco, Libia, Lichstenstein, Austria, and Luxomburg. I forget if I had a passport, oh yeah, to get into Mexico.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

Where is Another Country? I can't find it on the map.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

I'm too old, last of the Civil War vets.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

Now why would I touch my best friend's face regardless of how ugly he is?

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

Yeah, the food served at Demorat dinners.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

I don't think, man, I KNOW who I am. Long live bloggers!

I answered one version of this on DUMMOCRATS, but here's one just for you. (And I'm sure you'll read ALL OF THESE, and be fascinated by each one of us).

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

Just some dork who pops in to check out your girlfriend's rack. Wow. You lucked out.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

I EAT fast food....but, more about your chick. Zoinks. Nice bazzooms.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

Yo, don't change the subject. In a lot of those pics, the shirt seems a little big--not very flattering for her amazing cans. Who do I write to so I can get this fixed?

4. Do you even read newspapers?

And the neckline is so high on all the shirts...

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

....have you thought of making baby-doll tees? Or tank tops? Tank tops are sexy!

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

No, wait, listen: If she models tank tops, you could use her to model the shirts....then make a calendar and sell THAT...which would lead to appearances at auto shows!! Everybody wins!!

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

Yeah, and you could fax the pictures out like those junk faxers do; it's illegal, but everybody does it, so you'll be OK. A liberal told me so.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

You could have some audio of her over the pix, I guess...different poses, though. She needs to lean over in one of those baby-doll tees. Needs to show cleavage. Cleavage is sexy.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

Acutally, if she leaned over something firm, so her cleavage looks all tight... you could probably use a globe. That'd be a funny little double-entendre.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

Yeah, I AM running out of ideas, but that doesn't make me dumb. Just tired.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

That reminds me of a cartoon. Can't remember which one.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

OH, I KNOW!! How about shorts?? Hot pants? How's her butt??

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

There definitely needs to be more pictures on the site. There's waayyyy too much writing. So many words! Nobody reads anymore.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

Oh, no need to thank me! Just doing my part.

My Answers

Who are you?
- I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam!

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
- PhD in Computer Engineering concentration in electron valance matix storage

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
- Publish or die is the Academic Way

4. Do you even read newspapers?
- The Washington Post. It has five pages of real good comics - 3 pages of strips and 2 pages of Editorials

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
- Don't watch, I read their Internet Web Sites

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
- I like listening to Glenn Beck's "More On Football" but other than NPR, I don't know of any moron talk radio shows.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
- Gee, I haven't seen a FAX machine in years. IM and E-Mail is much preferred.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
- I believe Boortz is correct - use the Margaret Sanger approach to curb political dissent. Arguing with room tempereature IQs does get rather pedantic.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
- Actually, a passport is the property of the United States Government.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
- Several. Berkeley, San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York City, Miami to name a few. I've even been overseas.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
- Want to see my Purple Hearts? How about the scars that earned me those medals?

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
- Actually, no. Although I think having a shipmate with 3rd degree burns covering 60% of his body die in my arms would qualify.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
- Other than my children's and grandchildren's diapers? No. In your case I'll make an exception.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
- I am a man who knows who and what he is and his place in the Cosmos. Now it's your turn, who do you think YOU are?

You'll find my answers here
http://me-ander.blogspot.com/2005/02/bloggers.html

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

An American - and someone you don't f-- with if you value all your body parts.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

No - I'm a rocket scientist. But I've worked as a ditch digger, dish washer, waiter, busboy, nuclear reactor designer, truck driver, Mafia enforcer, bouncer, draftsman, auto mechanic, painter, plumber, boilermaker, race car driver, and construction gofer - among other things. And I'm not ashamed of any of them. Anyone who disses fast food workers is a dumbass.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

40 years of technical writing - which actually requires that the writer know something about what they're writing about. No - no "journalism" experience. Momma taught me not to lie.

4. Do you even read newspapers?

ALL of them - Can "you" read?

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

Don't watch TV - I have a life to live and it doesn't include talking heads that couldn't recognize the truth if it bit them on the ass.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

Yeah - IQ = 180+ and I drool when I walk. So if I'm a moron what does that make you?

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

Naah - that only happens to Democraps.
Some of us can actually think for ourselves. Too bad you're not one of us.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

Because we can? Naah - because the people we want to silence/fire are too bloody incompetent to hold the job they apparently bought with Green Stamps.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

Which countries would you like to know about? In how many countries have you gotten the local version of the Texas two-step? Or poison ivy?

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

More than you could count if you took off your shoes and unzipped your fly.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

I tried - have you? My kids have "been there and done that" - and now we're waiting for the grandchildren to take over the job of keeping your useless dead ass safe from those who'd make you a slave - if they even let you live.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

Been there, done that - let me know how you feel about war - and especially about the asshole who did it - AFTER you've been there. You're operating out of "theory" - not fact.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

More than you could count if you took off your shoes and unzipped your fly.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

Someone you don't want to meet in a dark alley. Or even debate in the light of day.

Thanks - this was fun.

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
A former journalist laid off because I a) had a pulse, b) was a better writer than my arrogant editor c) was pretty outspoken about being a better writer than my editor d) wouldn't go out with my editor e)found my editor's habit of crawling up the colons of anyone at a bigger publication to be an embarassment for what was supposed to be an alternative newspaper d)found my co-workers to be clique-ish sheep more interested in averting the editor's wrath than actually covering news.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass? I am a mom, a freelance writer, corporate researcher (spy), bartender, band manager, events planner, substitute teacher and unwilling author of shlock.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot? More than a decade of writing for newspapers, magazines, web sites, radio, and ghost-writing books.

4. Do you even read newspapers? The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and a small paper that I helped start.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool? I never watch TV, period.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh? I hate listening to talk radio. If I want to hear some pompous, uninformed ass verbally stroking himself and spouting scree, I can always call the local press club.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot? Obviously, I'm not Republican -- I correctly use dependent clauses.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist? I don't have any blogger friends, but I'd like to make some.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport? Aside from a quick trip to Mexico and Canada, I've never left the US -- like most journalists, I was never paid enough to travel. The only ones who do that are the Ivy-leaguers who go to work for the really big papers, trustfund babies who like the status that being a reporter lends them, and 40 year old editors who live with their mothers.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick? See #9.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk? Most of my family is in the military. I am raising a child whom I hope will find a better way of making a living than I or my grunt relatives have.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face? I reached into the goo of my own face after my Marine father beat the bejeezus out of me.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo? See #12

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?! The reincarnation of Mary, Mother of God. Oh, wait, this isn't going to end up on a blog is it?

I answered the quiz on a blog post of mine, though not nearly as clever as some here have.

My Quiz Results

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

Well, sometimes I think I'm a sassy French Maid, sometimes I think I'm Conan the Destroyer, and sometimes I think I'm just a money printing machine for my family.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

No, but I've eaten a lot of fastfood.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

Well, I took a creative writing class in college. Does that count?

4. Do you even read newspapers?

I read the paper every morning while I take a "Ted Rall".

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

I haven't heard of Fox News Propoganda, but I do watch Fox News. Direct TV must not offer that station in their basic package.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

Wouldn't it be funny if the only talk radio I listened to was Air America? Duh? Of course I don't listen to those panty waste left wing sissies. How NPR, does that count for something?

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

No, that's what I watch Fox News for.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

Because the law states that we're not allowed to kill you. I'm still hoping for some changes, however.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

Isn't that really two questions. First, I am not ignorant of other countries. I know of Canada and Mexico. Two, you don't need a passport to get there.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

I've gotten loaded in TJ and stumbled back across the border to the promised land.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

I will answer that the same way I answered that in 90 during the first round of pansy anti-war protests. I did sign up, hippy.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

Well, Fox News has some good war specials, so I'm pretty sure I'm aware. It consists of the glorious soldiers of Uncle Sam's army obliterating the arab hord in the Middle East. As for my best friend's goo, no, I have not. Have you, hippy?

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

None of your business, but I'd love for you to reach into my goo.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

Well, I'm back to being Conan the Destroyer.

[b]1. Who the hell do you think you are?[/b]
A real American.

[b]2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?[/b]
Actually, I do. There isn't much else for a sophomore in college.

[b]Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?[/b]
I'm majoring in it. And I'm an editor for a conservative campus newspaper.

[b]Do you even read newspapers?[/b]
Everything but the NY Times.

[b]5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?[/b] Sometimes I turn on CNN to see what the communists have to say.

[b]6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?[/b]
No. I'm too dumb to attach the antenna to the receiver.

[b]7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?[/b]
Actually, I'm their spy. The journalism major is an undercover tactic so I can make sure the professors are not espousing their commie bullshit from the front of the classroom. So far, it hasn't worked. See Ward Churchill.

[b]8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?[/b]
Because if we didn't, the world would be swimming in bullshit.

[b]9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?[/b]
I live in the People's Democratic Republic of Boulder. It is another country.

[b]10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?[/b] See above.

[b]11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?[/b] My back was replaced with titanium 3 years ago. I am not allowed to join the US Forces.

[b]12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?[/b] I shot my friend with a paintball gun once. He said it hurt.

[b]13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?[/b] D you remember the Nickelodeon product Gak(TM) from awhile back?

[b]14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?![/b] More accurate than CBS and less biased them CNN. I like to think of myself to the right of FOX News.

You need to add words like "bigot", "racist", or "hater" to the end of a few of those sentences, in order to make it a more believable left-wing critique:

Example: "Do you even read newspapers, bigot?"

Someone inform their MSM-lordships that the blogger-peasants are angry...oh, and they're massed in the courtyard armed with pitchforks and torches.

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

One of the Real Killers.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

Anyone whose first job didn't involve food service and/or minimum wage, please raise your hand.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

I've had to wade through the sloppy, poor-researched, and slanted effluence of what passes for current-day journalism most of my adult (and quite a bit of my adolescent and teen) life.

4. Do you even read newspapers?

Unfortunately, San Francisco is a one-newspaper town. You can imagine the juvenile quality of Letters-to-the-Editor. Sacramento Bee is quite a good little paper, but I have to pay out-of-town prices for it.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

I get a balanced diet of CNN propaganda, BBC propaganda, and MSNBC propaganda; with BAM!Fox PropagandaBAM! to kick it up a notch.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

I must confess, I sneak the dial over to 960"The Quake" for a little Rhandi Rhodes and Janeane Garofalo, just to get a little dirty.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

No, I get them hand-delivered. I rate!

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

I wouldn't be a good, little Nazi if I didn't want to visualize my boot on your throat, now, would I?

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

Actually, one doesn't "own" a passport. That remains property of the US government, which can demand its return at any time.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

Care to count the visa stamps on the passport you think I "own"?

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

Hey, if you want to leave most aspects of governance up to the folks in uniform, veterans, and their families, fine by me.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

No, but I remember spending Christmas in Cambodia, simultaneously running guns to the Khmer Rouge and being shot at by them.

It's seared...SEARED into my memory!

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

As a dog owner...er, companion...and the father of a ten-month old, yes...more times than I care to remember.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

One of your cust...er, EX customers. Please cancel my subscription!

--furious

Frank, I took your test. I think I should have studied harder:

Paratrooper's Blog

Blogreaders answers
1. I'm an unhyphenated American, who the hell are you?

2. Systems analyst for a Fortune 100 Firm, Contracted out to the DOD

3. No, Do you?

4. Local, national, and international.

5. NBC ABC CNN C-SPAN and FOX

6. Morning edition, All things (liberal) Considered, Hanity, Rush, Quinn in the morning.

7. RSS Feeds into my palmpilot.

8. I fight for your freedom to spew your nonsense. I despise censorship, especially politically correct censorship.

9. I've had an active passport since 1983

10. The only continent where I have not eaten, slept, shat, and fornicated is Antartica, though not for lack of trying. 27 contries not counting islands in the Carribean.

11. Served 12.5 Active Army Coldwar and Desert Storm. Now supporting in a Civilian capacity.

12. no, but does holding his intestines in count? I effectively and accurately returned fire after rendering first aid. Friend survived, shooter didn't.

13. Yes, In peacetime, I also had the duty of inventorying their effects and washing the small bits of them from their flight suits after the crash recovery. What have YOU done?

14. An American!

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

Well, according to President Bush, I am a second-class citizen. According to Pope John Paul, I am one of those evil doers who are trying to destroy the world. According to the majority of America's TV viewing public, I have what it takes to have a top-rated sitcom or reality makeover show.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

I am a Web content editor. So, I actually GET PAID to post stuff online. Unlike blogging, I can only post content that the lawyers and head honchos approve.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

I won a nice little silver pen with an engraved marble stand as a journalism award when I was in college. I was in charge of writing the events calendar for the school newspaper. While this isn't actually hard-hitting investigative reporting, I had to practically drag the information out of those damn chess club geeks every week!

4. Do you even read newspapers?

I only read newspapers with RSS syndication. If I can't aggregate 'em, I don't read 'em. If you don't know what in the hell I'm talking about, you probably still read newspapers.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

No. I enjoy screaming at Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly through my TV screen. The only time I take a break is when American Idol is on and I can scream at Simon Cowell instead.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

I don't listen to RADIO! That is so 20th Century! I only listen to MP3s -- iPod, therefore I am.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

I'll have you know that my faxes come straight from HOWARD DEAN. That's right, I'm a @#$% Democrat parrot -- YEEEAHHHHGH!

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

Actually, I only want to silence and fire everyone who calls me a fascist. If they disagree with me, I just pinch their nipples until they cry.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

I had a roommate from New Zealand once. I believe that is another country -- he had a funny accent anyway. Did you know that New Zealanders eat a stinky paste made out of rotten brewers yeast? They also get mad if you confuse New Zealand with Australia. "It is a totally different country, mate!"

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

I've lived in Los Angeles. That counts as SEVERAL foreign countries -- Mexico, Korea, China, Alabama...

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

Ah...in my world, the term "chickenhawk" would only apply to guys like Michael Jackson. I don't go there.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

Again, in my world, the image of "goo" on my best friend's face conjures up something totally unrelated to war. I'm thinking of that whole "Army of Lovers" thing.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

Again with the goo? Look, there's this stuff you can buy at your local adult novelty store...

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

I'm smart enough. I'm good enough. And, darn it, people PING me!

1. I'm me.

2. I'm a CPA, so work hard to save people from pricks like you who want to steal the fruits of those peoples labor and piss it away on lost causes.

3. No.

4. No. I'm also a capitalist. My family has several thousand acres of pine trees which are used to become newspaper pages. The best part is, we're taxed at the capital gain rate of 15% on the profit as opposed to the 36% imposed on ordianry income. Its' really cool being a capitalist, because in the end, I get to screw little people like you.

5. No.

6. After listening to Dr. Bennet, Laura Ingraham, Rush, Sean, and Hugh Hewitt, I don't really have much time for listening to the radio.

7. No. I have to go to the post office each day. if there is a white chalk marked "X" on the mailbox, then I know my instructions will be in my backyard secretly stuck in the gate hinge.

8. I think you have to "fire" first. Then after your ears stop ringing from the blast, and your vision returns after the muzzle flash, then and only then do hear the sweet sound of silence.

9. No, and No.

10. I was in Mexico for four hours. It sucked so bad I figured the rest of it ain't worth a shit either, so why bother.

11. I'm 53 years old and they won't take me. I'm still a damn good shot and I bet I could pick your narrow ass of at 200 yds. with my trusty Remington 700.

12. Yep. having you covering my six would be pretty horrible. Nope, all my friends have skin on their faces, how 'bout you? You got skin on your face?

13. Yep, but then my wife turned on the light and I realized it was just a bad dream.

14. like I said, I'm me, what are you?

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
I am Timmmaaaayyyy! Or TJ. A 30yr old, half-alcoholic, college drop-out ... although I gave up alcohol for lent, and am making plans to return to college. I have a beautiful wife & amazing 7m old daughter, and two German Shepherds. I drive a jacked-up Jeep Wrangler, which (sadly) spends all of tis time on pavement. I am a United Methodist (Christian), and very Conservative.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumba**?
Network Design & Support, Information Security.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
Proud to say, NO.

4. Do you even read newspapers?
Rarely, sometimes I read their sites though!

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Not often, although I don't get to watch FOXNEWS very often ... those of us who have jobs can't watch lots of TV ...

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Nope, I drive into work at 5am - not much talk radio going on then ... so I listen to CDs - currently George Thoroughgood. In the past I have spent lots of time listening to Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson (my favorite band / artist) as well.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Faxes are for old people! And red lights are for cops! (sorry, inside joke)

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
I want people to speak their mind, but I want them to be well informed when they do so.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
No, and No.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Yes, as long as they don't (didn't) require a passport (e.g. - Canada, Jamaica).

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
I am too old, and I can serve the country better in other ways. If it came down to it I would not hesitate to volunteer.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
Yes, but not from personal experience ... and no. Oh, does CounterStrike or REDvsBLUE count??

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Yes, but not by choice. And does picking up after my German Shepherd Dogs counts ...

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
I am someone who was sickened by what I was seeing in the mainstream media during the last ~1.5 years of Bush's first term, and part of the process of becoming more informed included posting what I find ... mostly for my future reference (that was the original purpose of my blogging effort - organizing information / resources), but made available for all to share. And indexed by search engines, to boot!

/TJ
NIF

My answers are up here. The article is "I'm Just a Blogging Nobody".

1. Who the hell do you think you are? I AM BUT A PAWN IN MY PUGS' SINISTER PLOT FOR WORLD DOMINATION.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass? AFTER BEING FIRED FROM NICO's 24-HOUR TACO STAND FOR THROWING MY SHOE IN THE DEEP FRYER I WAS HIRED BY NAMBLA TO BE THEIR PRESS LIAISON AND ADVOCATE.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot? I TOOK A JOURNALISM CLASS IN THE 8TH GRADE. SO YES, I CERTAINLY DO.

4. Do you even read newspapers? ONLY THE ONES WITH LOTS OF PICTURES AND COLORFUL LAYOUTS. AND NO BIG WORDS.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool? DO "HARD COPY" AND "REGIS & KELLY" COUNT?

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh? EVER SINCE THE GREASEMAN GOT CANNED I CAN'T TURN ON THE A.M. STATIONS WITHOUT CRYING.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot? NO, BUT BILL CLINTON & TEDDY KENNEDY STILL PHOTOCOPY THEIR GENITALIA AND FAX IT TO ME. EXCEPT SUNDAYS. TEDDY'S CATHOLIC, AFTER ALL.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist? SEEMS OBVIOUS ENOUGH TO ME: THEY'RE WRONG. OH, AND DON'T KNOCK FASCISM, IT'S THE NEW LIBERALISM.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport? ARE THERE OTHER COUNTRIES?

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick? SEE ABOVE.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk? ARE WE AT WAR? I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING ON "HARD COPY" OR "REGIS & KELLY" ABOUT THAT.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face? I DID HAVE TO SWALLOW MY OWN VOMIT ONCE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ASKING.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo? I HAVE TWO DOGS. ENOUGH SAID.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?! MY FIRST NAME AIN'T BABY, IT'S JANET... MISS JACKSON IF YOU'RE NASTY.

Who the Hell Do I Think I Am

1. What?

2. For your information, I DON'T work at a fast food restaurant. Any more. Business kind of slacked off after that new Long John Silver's opened up down the street. But Craig said he might give me some hours during lunch rush during the Shamrock Shake promotion.

3. I sold yearbook ads when I was a junior.

4. Does Midwest Truck Trader count?

5. What's that one show on Channel 54 with the yelling guy and the frog-voice lady? Hard nuts, or something. I think I saw that once.

6. My car radio broke, so I mainly listen to the 8 track.

7. Is a Fax that one machine they have at Western Union that Mexicans use to send money to Mexico?

8. Shut up, man!

9. Mexico sounds kinda cool, good upholstery.

10. What?

11. The recruiter said I had to have a GED, so I figure I'll have that in a couple of years. Maybe they'll still have a war then.

12. My best friend's face is already kinda gooey. Jesus, Duane, how about springing for some Clearasil?

13. Oh man, yeah, at this really bitchin' Halloween Fear House. Turned out it was spaghetti.

14. What?

Damn, my comments seem lame compared to you guys. But if anyone's curious, here they are.

1. Me. What would you like to make of that?

2. No fast food, but I did sell drapes at JC Penney one summer. Otherwise, I try to make a computer register change state on a regular basis.

3. Editor of my high-school paper,thanks. And my old college sweetheart showed up as a stringer giving a field report on Fox News last year.

4. WSJ on dead tree. Which we then give to the gerbil for bedding and, you know, "litter".

5. Why would I? Oh, wait - local weather report, now I remember.

6. Uhmm.... no. Boortz has just hacked me off, and I keep forgetting to turn on Rush at midday.

7. HOW DID YOU KNOW?!!???

8. You called me a fascist and can't figure out the answer to this? Get a refund from your stinky liberal arts college.

9. Own a passport, and actually own a piece of a foreign country. Although, thanks to Wal-Mart, Mickey D's, and other Rove-ian megastores, those hosers won't be "foreign" for long, heh.

10. Yep. Oz (fabulous place), Mexico (no, gracias, no tee shirt), Canada (see land deal above), New Zealand (just the airport), and Boston (commies really make my skin crawl).

11. Too old and infirm.

12. Thankfully, no.

13. I have squeeze-gutted a rabbit, thus creating a pile of goo. Does that count?

14. Hardcore enough to finish this survey, o running dogs of liberalism!

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

I'm a conservative stuck in Western Massachusetts.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

Get this. I design plastic packaging. Is there anything more capitalistic and anti-environment then that?

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

I'm tempted to say yes, but I don't want Lawrence O'Donnell to call me a liar.

4. Do you even read newspapers?

No, I can never get the fold right.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

I don't watch Fox or any other TV news, mostly because I like to know about important world events, not the latest on Brad and Jennifer or the "controversy" of the Bush National Guard memo.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

I live in Western Mass, and used to listen to Hannity. He was replaced by hot young comedian Al Franken. At first I was bummed, but I soon became entranced by his smooth-as-silk delivery and down-home common sense.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

Don't call me names. But you're right, Republicans all sound the same. I need to get under the big tent of the Democratic party, where all sides of an issue are welcome.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

I'm not a fascist, I'm an insurgent. And I didn't fire Eason Jordan, CNN did. I don't watch CNN, so I benefitted not one bit (other than schadenfreude).

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

No, I'm not completely ignorant and know I don't own a Passport. I buy American. Ford F-150, baby.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

I've been to Canada and Mexico, two countries with people in them that like the US. Funny, those people can't seem to get facetime on SeeBS though.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

I'm 38, but assuming I were 35 or less, I'd be more of a Clandestine Services kind of guy. Funneling Stingers to the mujahideen, etc.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

I do understand the horrors of war. I watched Saving Private Ryan. But no, my best friend's face never turned to goo. Unless you count the time we experimented with LSD in college.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

Well, there was the time I dropped my jimmy hat in the clam chowder...

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

When my grandfather used to tell me how his was the last good generation, I scoffed. I still do. Now I think mine is the last good generation. Put some clothes on, kids, stop slicing yourselves with sharp metal, and get some exercise!

THE "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" BLOGGER QUIZ (Assuming this is a serious question, and not just satirical...)

Answers by: Nekultura

1. Who the hell do you think you are? -- A vanishing breed, one who believes in free minds, free press, free markets – for everybody, everywhere, all the time. (TANSTAAFL, anyone?)

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass? How about Doctor of Science degree in Engineering? Started my own companies? Worked in the White House Science Office? An engineer, manager, designer, environmentalist? Want some more?

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot? Like, how about, like, several hundred published articles, stories, poems, plays, like?

4. Do you even read newspapers? Can't do without my Get Fuzzy and Mallard Fillmore and Rose Is Rose.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool? There is no other news, you poorly-educated fool.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh? Me, and about 50 million others, eh?

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot? No – we don’t do like the Dimocrats – the GOP receives OUR faxes and emails. We tell THEM.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist? Do your own thing, socialist –just don’t expect us to visit you, listen to you, or tolerate you – or especially, subsidize you, or NPR, PBS, or Ward Churchill. Most of us produce services or products that somebody wants to pay for – most are not tenured traitors or UN parasites.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport? The Web sees all. Bein’ there, doin’ it. (Does a passport mean you actually travel? Hmmm.)

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick? How about Belgium, UK, Mexico, Canada, Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong, Macau, PRC? (Betcha my People’s Republic of China entry visa fold-out is longer than yours.)

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk? I designed weapons of war while my younger brother served in Viet Nam and afterwards. He was OK with it; you got a problem with that?

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face? My father and many uncles fought in WWII and made goo out of quite a few Germans and Japanese, much to the betterment of the world. (I think Ward Churchill’s face looks like a pile of goo. Does that count?)

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo? Fathered four children. If you know what they are, and didn’t abort all yours, then ‘nuff said.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?! Somebody who is obviously more humorous, better educated, more widely published, more widely traveled, more experienced, more patriotic, more appreciative of Western civilization, much happier, more loved, more loving and probably richer, than you – and most leftists. Probably a lot healthier too, as well as furnishing much more to the improvement of the gene pool, the collective knowledge and wisdom of the human race, -- oh yeah, and also to the US Treasury, than you. Have I left anything out?

(Feel better now?)

My answers are here.

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
A HTML response.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
Yes, my job is served on sizzlers.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
no, this is the closest.

4. Do you even read newspapers?
why you want the whole world to read newspapers? developing nations are yet to afford Toilet Papers.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
how else would i've been here?

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
and your point is?

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
actually, its the KGB.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
I like to do it as an academic exercise.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Are you in aggreement with Free Trade?

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
No, not on an official assignment.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
Nobody is.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
A soldier should not let his/her sentiments intervene with his/her understanding of the difference between judgement and arbitration. Your friend must not be misquoted.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
my shoes can be more specific, not sure if they can talk.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
you didn't get it first time. did you?

BitsBlog has the answers