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February 23, 2005
RWD - Who The Hell Am I?
Posted by RightWingDuck at 02:33 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (10)

Hello Readers,

RightWingDuck here. Having read Frank J's answers below, I felt compelled to answer the questions as well. That and he emailed us asking us to answer. Sheesh, you think he owns this blog or somethi-- oh, yeah.

THE "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" BLOGGER QUIZ

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

I am RightWingDuck. Defender of all that is good. Mocker of all that is stupid.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

Here in LA we don’t call it a job, we call it ‘trabajo’. Why? Are you hiring? My goal is to work as a professional dumbass. So, I’m well on the way.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

I read the Playboy Women of Journalism issue 33 times. I would have read it more but the pages got stuck together – for some odd reason.

4. Do you even read newspapers?

Do I ‘even read’ them? I use them for bird cage liners, for paper hats, and for making Pinatas. Whacking piñatas is like whacking liberals except that you get candy instead of all this red goo.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

Fox told me you would ask that. Boy is there anything those newsbabes don’t know? I live in Los Angeles – I prefer to watch the shows that have the biggest boobs. So yes, that means I watch Dan Rather.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

My radio is stuck on the traffic channel you five lane pile-up. D’oh. See, what happens when you buy a stereo made in the Ukraine?

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

I don’t know what to say to that. My fax is broken. Can I answer that once my GOP talking points memo arrives?

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

We don’t MEAN to silence them. That’s just what happens when we ask them to offer facts instead of accusations. The silence is deafening. The joy - never ending.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

I love other countries. I’m hoping we can collect the whole set.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

This is Los Angeles. I’ve been to Koreatown, Japantown, Chinatown.. we have it all here. Not to mention Pizza Hut, Jacques in the Box, and my favorite Irish place, McDonalds.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

Four years United States Army – hooowah.I knew a chicken hawk once; he kept bringing Foghorn Leghorn over for dinner.

BTW, if you believe in the Insurgents so much why don't you join them? - I believe they are accepting applications. What size suicide vest do you wear?

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

Funny, they just announced that they are no longer identifying bodies from the 9/11 tower’s collapse. Most relatives would have been happy to have some 'goo' to bury.

But to answer the question directly, my best friend in the Army had the worst acne. His face was a huge pile of goo all the time. One time, he was accidentally shot on the range, and his complexion cleared up. Mostly because he died. Those funeral guys did a great job.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

Are we still talking about whether or not I read newspapers?

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

I am RightWingDuck. Defender of the downtrodden, fighter against all that is stupid. Would you like fries with that?

Rating: 2.3/5 (2 votes cast)

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10 Responses To "RWD - Who The Hell Am I?"

Hey, welcome and thanks for the funny.

#1 - Posted by: BFOL on February 23, 2005 02:38 PM

now that's good stuff

#2 - Posted by: phin on February 23, 2005 02:51 PM

great stuff!

#3 - Posted by: Laura on February 23, 2005 03:41 PM

You got a little serious there with the 9/11 stuff in the middle, but otherwise, you brought the funny in spades.

Well done, RWD.

I'm still reserving judgement on the group blog thing, though.

#4 - Posted by: Brian on February 23, 2005 04:02 PM

Brilliant! Gosh, I feel like I really know you now. Neato mosquito!

#5 - Posted by: jonag on February 23, 2005 04:25 PM

Do tell, what is Jacques in the Box like? We dont have them here. On the other hand, it sounds French, so maybe I dont want to eat there after all.

#6 - Posted by: humanoverlord on February 23, 2005 04:38 PM

I love other countries. I’m hoping we can collect the whole set.

Now that is FUNNY!!! I couldn't agree more.

#7 - Posted by: Good 'Ol Boy on February 23, 2005 04:51 PM

”…and my favorite Irish place, McDonalds.” Hah! The Pinata was good too.
Oh, you forgot “Little Saigon” off the 22 around Garden Grove. It’s even posted on the Fwy.

#8 - Posted by: Pete on February 23, 2005 07:12 PM

That was worth the read! I almost choked I was laughing so hard, thanx.

#9 - Posted by: george on February 23, 2005 08:54 PM

I loved the comment about the countries, though now there's coffee all over my keyboard.

#10 - Posted by: otherkatie on February 24, 2005 09:04 AM
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