IMAO: Top 10 Indicators You May Be Left of Liberal

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February 25, 2005

Top 10 Indicators You May Be Left of Liberal

Posted by spacemonkey at 05:11 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (22)

10. You never could throw your full support behind John Kerry once you found out his first name is found in the Bible, of all places.

9. One of the few reasons you couldn't bring yourself to assasinate the president is you'd have to actually buy a gun.

8. Your opinions and values carry more weight than those that oppose you, because you care.

7. To save money you bought an effigy of Bush made of asbestos. You later returned it when you realized 'the bush burned with fire, but the bush was not consumed.' is ALSO found in the Bible.

6. You believe the death penalty should be abolished...after it's applied to those that support it.

5. You believe that any news service that doesn't keep 'Bush is EV1L Incarnate' as its lead story is undeniably linked to a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

4. Four years later and you are STILL protesting outside the Broward County Courthouse for Gore-Lieberman 2000.

3. You have made a sign which you carry to every protest that just says 'NO!'. It's written in your own blood from when you carved 'I'm Sorry, World' on your forehead.

2. You acknowlege the 'Vast Right Wing Conspiracy' exists and is inherently evil but often lose sleep at night worrying there are smaller 'Widespread Right Wing Conspiracies' that need to be stamped out too and aren't getting the attention they deserve.

And the number one Indicator You May Be Left of Liberal....

1. You strongly believe cannibalism is wrong. Not because it takes a human life but because it's...meat.

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Rating: 2.0/5 (8 votes cast)

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22 Responses To "Top 10 Indicators You May Be Left of Liberal"

Absolutely hilarious.

#1 - Posted by: nayrb5 on February 25, 2005 05:15 PM

Oh, and "first"

#2 - Posted by: nayrb5 on February 25, 2005 05:15 PM

very funny especially numbers 6 and 1!
oh yeah, first!

#3 - Posted by: frenchman on February 25, 2005 05:16 PM

That good stuff,Spacemonkey.It'd be even funnier if it all weren't so true. (Or maybe it's the truth that makes it funny? Hmmm) Heh

#4 - Posted by: Moe on February 25, 2005 05:16 PM

pinkie toe!
just on the finish line...

#5 - Posted by: frenchman on February 25, 2005 05:17 PM

Hey hey hey!
Funny as they say!
And death to the infidels.

Would a liberal really buy an ASBESTOS effigy? "Asbestos is bad, m'kay?" Seems like it should be an effigy made of hemp fibers, hand-woven by indigenous peoples and such.

#6 - Posted by: Fatwa Albert on February 25, 2005 05:21 PM

Superior funny power at work here. Okay, I was hesitant about this group blog thing, but spacemonkey stays for sure.

#7 - Posted by: jodyb on February 25, 2005 05:29 PM

Good post, I am glad to say based on your criteria: I am not a liberal.

#8 - Posted by: Jody on February 25, 2005 07:16 PM

#1 had my husband calling from the next room, "Tracey, what the hell are you doing? Are you OK?" Very very funny!

#9 - Posted by: Tracey on February 25, 2005 07:20 PM

See, Harvey, that's what an actual top ten list looks like :)

Good funny work, spacemonkey. Your execution has been postponed.

#10 - Posted by: Frank J. on February 25, 2005 07:53 PM

Excellent work!

#1 was actually the funniest!!

#11 - Posted by: RightWingDuck on February 25, 2005 11:15 PM

THAT is a classic!

#12 - Posted by: Beth on February 26, 2005 05:05 AM

Arguably the best post since the group thing started. And on top of it someone came up with the name 'Fatwa Albert.' I think he's related to Ayatollah A--ahola.

#13 - Posted by: McWert Deglieb on February 26, 2005 05:15 AM

You forgot this one. You can't confuse me with FACTS, because I know better... Dan Rather told me so!

#14 - Posted by: Felix on February 26, 2005 06:52 AM

I could read these comments over and over.

#15 - Posted by: spacemonkey on February 26, 2005 11:32 AM

I can assure you, as a member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy that smaller conspiracies do not officially exist.

#16 - Posted by: Adam (VRWC member) on February 26, 2005 11:54 AM

Looks like John Hawkins came up with a list almost identical to this one!

#17 - Posted by: Frank J. on February 26, 2005 12:40 PM

Yeah, the big sneaky thieving sneak-thief, my lawyers will be calling him.
And by lawyers I mean goons and by call I mean beat.

Seriously though, him doing that's a good thing in more than one way, right?

#18 - Posted by: spacemonkey on February 26, 2005 10:38 PM

love it

#19 - Posted by: erik on February 27, 2005 11:47 PM

11. You protest weekly but have never voted

#20 - Posted by: Yogi on February 28, 2005 03:49 AM

You MUST turn this list into a t-shirt. Imagine a hot young college Republican wearing the shirt to her "America Is the Root of All Evil" class......I wonder if they would stone her for her intolerance.....

#21 - Posted by: WunderKraut on February 28, 2005 10:52 AM

#22 - Posted by: defrg on March 29, 2005 07:32 PM