First!!! Also, first to say you DON'T suck to everyone, Harvey - I think you're great!
Leslie

First AND second!!! Maybe I don't love you like Frank & RWD yet, but you're growing on us....

Harvey--please define "suck".

Doesn't a vacuum that works "suck",
more than one that doesn't?
Of course it does!
From a certain point of view*

Totally unneccessary "Star Wars" quote

18, definitely 18

Well, I don't think you suck at all. Given that, if I had to choose one of the mentioned items, I would choose #1. I hate getting my socks wet but it pales in comparison to your posts.

People resist change whether it's the viewers of IMAO, the Taliban, or the former Soviet Union. However, after the smoke clears, most find that change is good.

I've stayed out of the group blog discussion because I simply don't have a problem with it. I really enjoyed when everyone posted when Frank J. was away and now that we have everyone (almost) posting (almost) every day, I really don't have a problem with it. I must admit that I don't visit every one of the group blogger's individual blogs, but I enjoy the change of pace, the change in opinion, and the change in wording. I've been reading this blog (IMAO) for a little over a year now so maybe I'm a "newbie" I don't know. I've read all of the different areas of IMAO including past IMW, KTE, What I believe, etc. and I've found that most of the time, all of the group bloggers stay pretty much in line with Frank J's original concept while introducing their own uniqueness. (sp?)

I say to all the group blogger's to keep up the great work! I visit this site every single day looking forward to your postings!

That said, ya'll have been rather "lacking" when it comes to the weekends. I know, I work all week too. I know it's not exactly first on my priority list to work on the weekends but how about throwing us a little on the weekends? I think RWD does a good job of this, up until this past weekend that is.

Overall, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being your average blog and 10 being.......well any blogger who has no other purpose in life other than to post every 5 minutes (i.e. the Puppy Blender) I would rate IMAO's guest blogging concept as a 9. The ability to get so many different thoughts and ideas in such a compact and concise form is enjoyable.

Squirrel,

Good catch! I didn't even see it 'till you posted it!

I'd say around the level of the blink tags.

Drat! That didn't blink...

*mutter mutter mutter*

IV, V, II, IV, I

Oh yeah, and 1.

Whoops, that second "IV" is supposed to be "VI."

Personally, Harvey, I like your stuff. I also like everyone else's stuff. Don't know what people are complaining about. They're getting just about the same amount of Frank posts. Now, the rest of us have other stuff to read.

Harvey sucks about as much as a busted Hoover on my barn floor..which is not at all.Damn the naysayers,Harv! You keep on with the funny,cause you are damned good at it!

Actually, you're the only new addition to the IMAO blog that doesn't suck. I have LOL'ed reading your stuff. Not LOL RFLMAO, mind you, but LOL anyway.

"14) Old people winning the lottery"

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels a total let down when that happens!!

And Harvey, I've been hanging around here for a good 2 years and I've never heard of a "Lionstone" (unless he's one of those posters who change their names), so I wouldn't be too concerned (Because I can tell you're really, really bothered by this :P )!

I'm going to have to go with #28

You don't suck at all, I think your the funniest on the site now, yes, more so than Frank J. there I said it. IMAO is now Harvey in my opinion

I think I suck more. My detractors have done r-u-n-n-o-f-t.

'cept for Squatch that is, but at least he doesn't mention me by name.

You don't suck either,SpaceMonkey.To hell with anyone who says otherwise.

Moe: I don't want anybody to go there. But I appreciate the sentiment just the same.

For the Record:

Point #1. There is only one Frank J. He's the reason I started writing humor. (Starting point for me: The Questions for Michael Moore contest)

Point #2. Harvey: You don't suck. We all have a different voice as far as humor and type of humor. Which is why I participate in this.

Point #3. I don't think i've ever posted on a weekend.Maybe a few times when I was working.
Time is precious to me, which is why I've gone to just writing out monologues versus some of the crazier stuff I've done in the past.

Point #4. None of us should be bothered by criticism- as long as IMAO readers keep visiting.

Point #5. See point #1.

This PARTICULAR post sucks, and I'd rate it a 28.

Why? Because of point 29.

If the shelves at Blockbuster are full of Fahrenheit 9/11....that means nobody's renting the f--ing thing!

That, by itself, makes easier to digest an evening of Battlefield Earth and a Very Brady Train Wreck...with plenty of time left over for compliment fishing.

:)

I love this place. Don't change a thing.

Number 21 is a tad revolting...

But no one here sucks. I have to say that.

And who's this new Frank J. poster, anyway? Never saw him before.

I'd go with:

8) Underwear for Christmas.

And by the way, Jar Jar can't run for president, he wasn't born on Earth, much less in America...

Or at least Star Wars /implies/ he wasn't born in America on earth... nothing says he wasn't...

DEAR GOD! IT'S GOING TO BE JAR JAR IN '08!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

The only problem I have with Harvey is that when I'm reading his stuff, it seems like he's trying too hard to be funny. And that makes it unfunny.

dang you squirl!!! you tok my answer!!! *shakes fist threatening-ly*

um, I'm pretty sure that number 26 wouldn't be the least bit sucky... to my cat. she lu-u-uvs menthol.

The question shouldn't be how much does Harvey suck, but what, when given the opportunity, does Harvey suck? Personally, I am opting for lemons immediately preceded by a shot of tequila ;)

14) Old people winning the lottery

Man, I hate that. Instead of playing the lottery from now on I think I'm going to scam old people out of their money. At least the ones who won't have sex with me. Sorry SarahK.

Suckage is measured by the force required to draw a standard size golf ball through one meter of 15mm garden hose. This would include the frictional coefficients fo the rubber hose and the surface of the golf ball.

As a unit of measure I nominate the term "lovelace" as the unit of suckage. Just doing the quick math in my head but 'm betting were talking about a fractional number so we're probably talking a set of force pounds in the milli-lovelace range. (Assumes 1 lovelace equals getting the golf ball through the hose at a rate of 1 cm/sec.)

We should add number 32 to your list of 30 suck levels; "Can't count to thirty"

See the problem I think people have is that Harvey is not Frank J. Us readers are very skiterish (sp) when it comes to change. We are like roaches when you turn on the light. Heck, I am still mad about the format change.

However I like Harvey and the rest. I just haven't warmed up to the idea yet.

13) A Jar-Jar Binks poetry reading.

Ok I used to think you were non-sucky, and funny but forget that. Only sucky, non-funny people would put firefly at 15 in the suck meter.

Harvey,

I would have to put your suckiness at 4.5 on your scale. Numbers 1,3, and 4 can all be attributed to my own laziness or lack of preperation so using them as a basis would indicate how much I, myself, sucked. 10 minute oil changes take me 20 anyway and that's if I already have beer in the 'fridge. Again, not a valid basis of comparison. Ewoks, on the other hand, brought a level cute suckiness to an otherwise great movie exceeded only by the subsequent introduction of Jar-Jar Binks (quit giving the Dems ideas. He is their most attractive candidate). So in review, you suck more than I do, but not as much a Ewoks. I love the group blog.

None of the group bloggers suck. And for those who aren't too happy about the group blog thing, they need to realize that by spreading around the funny-making, FrankJ gets to spend more time with SaraK...thus making FrankJ a happier person. A happier Frank means funnier posts. So the quantity may have lessened, but the quality is better.

Even if Frank is a pinkytoe sucking 'tard who thinks I work at McDonalds. Which I don't.

blackbird4739 has the order right.

IV, V, II, VI, I

And I have too kissed a girl. I even have a daughter who I am PRETTY SURE is mine!!!

This scale is rigged. How else could Ewoks make it so low on the scale of suckitude.

I'm with Squirrel. #18 it is. (Love you Harv!

I must agree with the majority of the comments that the group blog thing is a nice change. That being said, I also agree that each contributor has a different style. That is a good thing. While I find Frank J. hilarious, that does not mean that I want every single contributor to sound just like him. That would defeat the purpose.

Also, Faith+1....... you are a GEEK!...... but the sad thing is, I found myself nodding in approval to your line of thought...which makes me one too.

I love this whole group bloggy thingy and think you are all hilarious...sick and twisted, but hilarious. It's like having a party at FrankJ's house and all his funny friends are there. How can that be a bad thing? But anything to do with being out of toilet paper AND kleenex sucks big time.

Wow Harvey! You really made this blog your own! You are just owning the stage! Standing "O" for you!

honestly, i don't know who's better, frank j, harvey, or rwd. you're all awsome and anyone who says otherwise should be tarred and feathered.

Jasonl.....go ahead, count em...if you get a number other than thirty, do it again...and again, until you figure out your error.

Yes, I COULD simply send you to item number 18, but that would be too easy...

Harvey just got an O from Paula Abdul.
Is that like the O in Over Stock or the O Face in Office Space?
Either way I don't think his wife's gonna be happy.

I'm gonna have to put you at
--> 32 Hillary will be President in 2008

--I am concerned that you have an unhealthy obsession with Star Wars and paper products.

--Having said that, I go with number 8.

Me thinks your posts are great, Harvey. RWD writes great stuff also. Even that Frank J. writes something funny now and then. But the true butt-kicking-humour here comes from that Aquaman.

I'm not allowed to say anything bad about Harvey given that we're related in some strange Arkansas "you fathered your grandkids by sleeping with your daughter and each other" kind of way.

And I wouldn't say anything bad despite that, except for Harvey's poor judgement in priorities.

Canceling Firefly sucks WAY worse than mullets :)

next time you want to try and be funny, you should just punch yourself in the face for coming up with the absurd notion that you could ever, in a million years, produce anything even remotely humorous. Not only are you lugubrious and boring, but you are a disgrace to mankind, and your seed should be wiped from the earth.

Here I was, all set to ignore another Harvey post, when I saw my name. I still didn't read the extended entry.

But-
If you wanted constructive criticism, all you had to do was ask. I should have known you'd overreact, given your hypersensitivity to reader feedback. For Pete's sake, you're STILL going on about the backlash from the lapdance post. Why do I think you suck?

• You try too hard, and it shows. Humor needs to seem effortless to be funny.


• You have no style of your own. Everything you post is derivative. (Ex: "Totally True Tidbits" is a pale imitation of Frank's "Know Thy Enemy" bits.)


• Your tone is smug and often arrogant - and not in way that accentuates your humor.

Still, thanks for my couple seconds of "fame."

Next, let's have a 1-30 on how much your detractors suck. *sniff* I wuvvims you Harvey! I thought the group blog thing would kind of suck, actually (say, around #4) but actually I've loved how everyone is true to Frank J.'s vision and also uniquely hilarious. And I was pleased to see RWD, because I'd read his site in the past so I knew Frank picked a good group. :) /brownnose

Hmmm..I would have to say that you are the one who sucks, Lionstone! You shouldn't be so disrespectful to those who are making you laugh (or at least trying to) for free.

32) The middle of Matrix: Revolutions

33) The beginning of Matrix: Revolutions

34) Blogs that make me remember that I paid FIVE %^$#%$#@% DOLLARS to rent that piece of *&@#^#*&@^#*$&!!!!!!

Harvey, you don't suck; you're just waiting to exhale. ;-)

I have to admit...

You Suck!!! 17

...has a much more intelectual feel than the traditional...

You Suck!!!

Firefly is going to be cancelled???

19) Lists that skip a number just to see if you're paying attention.