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March 11, 2005
RWD's News Round-up, Friday
Hello Everyone, I’m RightWingDuck here to share some news. There are so many interesting characters in the news lately. Embattled professor Ward Churchill is now being accused of plagiarism. Amazing. And the man seemed so genuine. Let’s see. He faked his Indian credentials… Inquiry Board: Are you sure you’re Indian? He faked his writing… Interviewer: Are you sure you’re an author? And he faked his humanity… Co-worker: 3,000 dead at the World Trade Center So, students, remember - it’s okay to write vile, hateful statements about the death of innocents - but the writing must be original. In Florida, there is talk about taxing toilet paper. True. A law maker is proposing a 2 cent tax on each roll of toilet paper sold. That would change the way people talk.. At a business meeting… “Johnson, I’d like to get your two cents on this.”
Sorry, I misread that. She’s getting a new hip and has a new movie coming out – two separate things. That’s bad. She should take better care of herself. Has she tried exercise? I hope her recovery goes nicely. Surgery is always bad news. And bad news is icky! On the plus side, she’s made a movie with Jennifer Lopez and J-Lo movies always mean sure hit!! Speaking of hits… Two retired NY cops are accused of being Mafia hit men If you think about it, it was fairly obvious. After every hit they’d say, “Have a nice day.” They are each charged with 8 murders and two attempted murders. How did the two get away? Easy… (Police/Hitman walking up to victim's car)
Yep, being related to a hit man is always helpful. A police officer is accused of Tasering a guy strapped to a hospital bed.. Don’t these guys know anything. Why didn’t they just wait until he was asleep and just put his hand in a bowl of water? Am I missing something? What - was he going to hold it forever? "Never. You’ll never get me to urinate, man!" So now this cop is in trouble. Maybe it's not all bad. At least the Mafia seems to have openings. The Michael Jackson trial is still going strong. Of course, after visiting the hospital for back pains, MJ went to the courthouse yesterday in his pajamas He made a big mistake. Not only did he wear pajamas – they belonged to the victim! PJ’s? Do you know what this means? Michael Jackson is a blogger!! He’s much better today. He’s had his Jesus Juice, along with some Torah Toast with some Moses Marmalade. Yummy. He’s ready to face the day. Well, maybe not. News reports speculate that Jacko may be on suicide watch Close friends were afraid they saw somebody dangling from the balcony – turned out it was just Michael watching over the kids. Michael is running out of money. It appears that he’s broke. He’s so broke he might start sharing rent with MacAulay Caulkin He’s so broke he’s worried about the toilet paper tax. He’s so broke he might have to start holding his own umbrella. Of course, if he kept his hands on his own umbrella, he wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with. In other news, the US may be transferring the Guantanamo Bay detainees. They are tired of being held against their will with no chance of escape. Senator Hillary Clinton is saying that there is too much sex on TV Personally, I’d like to see more sex on TV. Specifically, it would be nice to see some coverage of the UN Rape Scandals. Some of them. Any of them. You know why she dislikes sex on TV? It keeps giving Bill more crazy ideas! ** Enjoy your weekend. 13 Responses To "RWD's News Round-up, Friday"
NY Cops become Mob hitman. Can you think of better on the job traing. To be a cop I mean. #1 - Posted by: bp on March 11, 2005 05:19 PMFunny line of the day: "He’s so broke he’s worried about the toilet paper tax" By the way, how convenient Hillary is suddenly concerned about morality and religion. Does she have any clue that the people she's pandering to know she's a fraud? #2 - Posted by: Frank H. on March 11, 2005 05:29 PMAnd let's also clarify that those innocents must also be American. #3 - Posted by: xtremerightwing on March 11, 2005 06:03 PM"I’m here to kill you. I’m a hit man." LOL! #4 - Posted by: GEBIV on March 11, 2005 07:09 PMHoly shit! Has anyone seen the new Star Wars trailer! omg! ...sorry that was OT. But OMG! It was freaking awesome. #5 - Posted by: Poosh on March 11, 2005 07:47 PMHey RWD! Al Qaida has found a new way to terrorize the U.S. Read all about it here #6 - Posted by: Bozark on March 11, 2005 07:55 PM"You know why she dislikes sex on TV? It keeps giving Bill more crazy ideas!" And those ideas are bad for his ticker! #7 - Posted by: Jim on March 11, 2005 09:39 PM"Of course, if he kept his hands on his own umbrella, he wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with." LOL, Ducky :-) #8 - Posted by: Harvey on March 11, 2005 10:13 PMI'm with you. More sex on television, damn it! When I was in other countries, even the commercials were cool; here, people freak out over a 0.5-second shot of a not-so-great breast, mostly covered by a nipple ring. Oh, the humanity! Poosh: post a link to it, if you can, or if not, give up the url! "Of course, if he kept his hands on his own umbrella, he wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with." #12 - Posted by: Matt on March 12, 2005 04:56 PMWard Churchill is nothing more than a hack and a hateful, bile-spewing, plagarist. Boy did he not anticipate the backlash that he was spewing. I bet he thought it would make great publicity but now his job might very well be in dange. Apparently, there's a recording of him encouraging a student to create a terrorist act. If anyone has this please let me know where from. I got this from Fox. He says to this student along the lines of , "You're white and you can fit in a banker's outfit. Then you can do whatever you want. You can infiltrate blah blah blah" after his vitriolic hate-speech. I hope they fire him and kick him out of his cushy 100,000 a year job. Oh yeah, I saw him assault a journalist for Denver when they questioned him about his painting. It was a mirror image! It was like he took a photocopy and colored it all yellow!!! #13 - Posted by: andophiroxia on March 13, 2005 08:44 AMPost a comment
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