"So let me see if I understand this, Jeb: you simply arrested a Democrat?"

"Well, the mayor of Orlando was committing election fraud and..."

"Wow, all I had to do was arrest them!" Bush declared, "Thanks, Jeb. As my older brother, you've always been looking out for me."

"I'm your younger brother, and it's not so simple. See..."

Bush hung up the phone. "So, Speedy, what's your legal opinion on rounding up and arresting the Democrats?"

"Sounds fun," Attorney General Alberto Gonzales answered, "I'll get my sombrero."

"Get mine too!"

* * * *

Senator Harry Reid saw his door kicked in. "We've heard you're a Democrat!" Alberto declared.

"That's crazy!" Reid answered.

"Then what do you think about Bush's tax cuts?"

"They're too targeted at the rich."

"Democrat!" Alberto yelled, "Arrest him!"

"You can't just arrest me for that!" Reid protested.

"You see this sombrero?" Alberto challenged, pointing to his hat, "It means authority! I do what I want!"

"What about the poncho?"

"It goes with the sombrero, stupid! Now surrender for arrest!"

"Okay," Reid said, "Just let me get my glasses."

"He's resisting arrest!" Alberto shouted, "Deploy nightsticks."

* * * *

"I admit it's not going to be easy to prove you're a Democrat," Alberto told Senator Joe Lieberman, "So why don't we make a deal. It'll be probation plus time served if you just give me the names of more Democrats."

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan burst into Alberto's office. "I'm hearing that you've been arresting and beating Democrats and now I have to answer to the press!"

"I thought I arrested all of them," Alberto said, confused.

"Apparently not."

"Well, I'll go help you answer questions."

They both walked out to the press room. "So how do you answer to charges of abducting Democrats and beating them with nightsticks?"

Scott started to answer, but Alberto tapped him on the shoulder. "Let me handle this." He then faced the press and said, "Actually, I used a piñata bat. The piñata bat has a long history in Mexican culture, dating back to when Mexicans first discovered they like to beat things with bats. You have to appreciate other cultures."

The press nodded knowingly and walked off. "See, that's how you handle the press, you stupid gringo," Alberto told Scott.

"You know, you never had an accent until you were appointed to this position."

Alberto pulled out his piñata bat. "You shut up!"

* * * *

"With the amount of travel, I think we were sent to another country for trial," said one frightened Democrat.

A man stepped in amongst the prisoners. "You are all charged with witchcraft. The punishment for that crime is to have your left hand cut off."

"That's silly," Sen. Harry Reid answered, "All we are are Democrats and..."

"The punishment for being a Democrat is death!"

Reid thought for a moment. "Well, I guess I was eight-years-old when I first started casting hexes..."

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In My World
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