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I'm RightWingDuck and I'm here to share the news.

Robert Iger has been chosen to replace Eisner as the Disney CEO. He’ll be stepping into the position in October.

Hmmm. He needs a catchy nickname. What rhymes with Iger?

Iger. Iger.. I know…

How about "Iger the Lion"?

Disney is getting desperate for real leadership.

It’s was so bad; Disney was interviewing people who came in wearing Mickey Costumes.

Executive: So, Mr. Um. Oh, yes. Mickey. Are you ready for this job?
Mickey: Mimes a thumbs up gestures, Jumps up and down like cheerleader..
Executive: The competition is intense. We need to rediscover our Disney roots and make more hits. Can you do that?
Mickey: Gets up and silently waltzes around the room and then sits back down.
Executive: We need to stick it to the competition. Do you think you could stick it to them?
Mickey: Gets up, performs a series of hip thrusts.
Executive: That’s the spirit that we need. How reasonable are your pay requirements?
Mickey: Gets up. Hip thrusts.

Here a story of scented bowling balls and how sales are going up.

Popular scents include black cherry, chocolate, lemonade, plum, blueberry, grape, banana, cinnamon, orange, amaretto and cherry.

Who decided that the best way to increase product sales is through perfumed equipment?

Try the new Lexus SUV– available in Vanilla and Chocolate.

This is too weird. I guess it makes sense. The other day I bought new cologne called ‘Bowling Ball.”

This will add a new dimension to bowling conversations.

“Hey, I just bumped into Paris Hilton and she said my balls smell wonderful.”
“Cool. I didn’t know you had scented bowling balls.”
“What do you mean - Bowling?”

Failed Presidential candidate John Kerry suffered another humiliation.
In a survey of potential presidential candidates, he came in way, way behind Hillary Clinton.

Maybe he would have done better if the ballots had been scented.

Sad - he also came in behind Ted Kennedy, and two of the Queer Makeover Guys.

Did you hear about this?

Some of the Boston Red Sox are going to get made over by the Queer Eye for the Straight Guys.

Changes will include new clothing, new hairstyles, and lavender-scented bats.

This will lead to fan taunting such as “You suck Damon – but you’re hair is Fabulous.”

You can always tell you’re in Boston when you hear the vendors calling out, “Peanuts, Popcorn - Moisturizing Hair Gel!!”

The CEO of WorldCom, Bernie Ebbers, was found guilty of all charges.

He faces up to 85 years in prison. So he’d be out of prison at the age of 148. Of course, there is an up side to all of this. I mean – look at what prison time did for Martha.

Ebbers, helped his company grow by setting up a series of takeovers of smaller companies. He was known as the Telecom Cowboy. He won’t be doing any riding – unless he ends up sharing a cell with Michael Jackson.

There's a study showing that Obesity in Rural Areas is more common than in the cities.

Maybe the study is flawed.

Could we blame accuracy? Rural kids are the only ones who use weigh in using those big farm scales - city kids have to guess after 300 lbs.

Could we blame availability?
City kids have pantries, rural kids have grain silos.

Plus, you drink more milk when you get it straight from the cow.

(Kid gets up late at night and walks to the barn to get some milk.)

"Nobody likes me."
Moo.
"That’s right."
Moo.
"No, I never thought of that."
Moo.
"Bowling ball? That might smell nice. Tell me more."

(Stays up chatting and drinking milk all night)

The study shows there are many more obese kids in rural areas. Of course, in a rural area – they don’t use the word obese – they prefer the term Blue Ribbon kid.

In Germany, a small supermarket has now made it ossible to pay using your fingerprint.

Cool, huh?

They take your bank information and link it to the print on one of your fingers..

Of course, this will change what you typically hear at a checkout stand.

“I‘m sorry, ma’am. That account is empty. Would you like to use another finger?”

“What do you mean the finger’s no good? I know, I’ve been picking my ear all day long. Let me just clean this off.”
Or better yet.

“While Hans bags the groceries – why don’t you give me the finger?”

This could even change the names!!

I smashed my finger!
Which one? Index, Ring, or Visa?

There’s been some buzz on one of the American Idols , Mario Vasquez, withdrawing from the competition.

People are unsure as to why, but Mario is telling America that it's for personal reasons but that we'll see him again.

Sure.

Making it as a singer is easy. Just get somebody to fly you out to California, write original songs for you, help with song arrangement, hire a voice coach, and set up meetings with top industry executives.

No problem Mario. That’s easy to do.

BTW, if one day the people who helped you get this far flip you the finger – it doesn’t mean they’re offering you payment.

**

That's all for today.

Do you have an interesting newsbit? Email me at rightwingduckatyahoodotcom with the link and a link to your blog (If applicable).

As always, I can't hear you laugh. Please make a mention of the funny jokes in comments.

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