Hello all,

I’m RightWingDuck and I’m here to share the news!!

Well, everybody’s talking about it. Robert Blake has been found “Not Guilty”.

Blake was surprised but happy. Outside the courthouse, Blake was so overcome by emotion that he almost dropped his gun.

He’s so excited he’s going to throw a party. He’s going to invite family, friends, and people who refused to kill his wife.

In fact, you’re all invited!! Remember, Los Angeles is a great place to visit. Come on out, get a tan, and knock off your wife.

In other big trials, Scott Peterson was sentenced to death.

So, if you’re going to kill your wife – remember these three secrets: Location, location, location.

Scott Peterson’s lawyer is seeking a new trial.
And why wouldn’t he - the first one didn’t end too well, did it?

So now he’s gotten the death penalty. Or as Scott would call it – “Gone Fishin’”

Britney Spears is in the news for giving Michael Jackson some advice.

She suggested he go out to a bar, get drunk and get into a fight.

We’ll remember that next time hubby gets arrested for drunk and disorderly.

She said that Michael just needs “a moustache and a beer.”

Which is better than what he had before. a beard and some Jesus Juice.

Hmm. Beard, what is Lisa Marie Presley up to these days anyway.

It was reported that the Olive Garden restaurant sent the Jackson jury pizza. It was sweet – some of the staff overheard a CNN reporter mentioned that the jury never ate lunch but just snacked 3 times a day.

I suspect they’re just trying to get inside information. Look at the order form.

We’ll send you a pizza. Which do most of you prefer?
Pepperoni with Innocent crust
Thin crust with other I think he did it toppings.

When MJ was told about the Blake verdict he said, “Man, I wish I had been on that jury.”

No, he didn’t want to set him free. He just wanted the $24.75 he would make as a juror.

Yep, Michael might have some financial problems.

It's so bad, that Bobo the Monkey has started offering him food.

It's so bad that
Michael and Jesse Jackson are starting each day with prayer.

That just seems so weird.

That's like Ted Kennedy standing up each day to recite the 12 steps.

WorldCom CEO, Bernie Ebbers was found guilty and may face up to 85 years in prison.

He was feeling a bit down, but on the plus side, the prison phones have great rates on long distance.

Mr. Ebbers was found guilty on 9 separate counts. Actually, it was only 6 but the jurors thought it would be funny if they too did some over-reporting.

Ashley Smith, the single mother who helped capture Atlanta’s escaped killer, has already collected $10,000 of the reward money.

You know what I like? They keep referring to her as a single mother, like they’re trying to get her a date.

Ashley Smith, who likes long walks on the beach and Ned Flander types, recently collected some of her reward money.

In Iraq, people are feeling upbeat about their future. Most say that Iraq is moving in the right direction.

What’s interesting is that the results varied greatly depending on their political party. The Kurds came in at 71% Moving in the Right direction, it was 66 % for the Shiites, and 33% for the Arab Sunnis.

Oh, and 12% for American Democrats.

You know the new dangerous place to live? Philadelphia!!

This last week, 21 people have died in Philly violence

It’s so bad, citizens are joining up to go to Iraq – not to fight – they just feel it’s so much safer.

Thankfully, the Lakers came to town to play the 76ers and showed the world what it means to not put up a fight.

Of any kind.

At all.

Inspired by this, Philadelphians are now thinking of moving to France.

Tee hee. The Lakers are really awful this year.

The Lakers are so awful this season – Scott Peterson felt sorry for them.

In other news, NASCAR has suspended three crew chiefs. These guys skirted some of the rules to give their racers extra advantages.

For example, they rigged the fuel gauge to make it appear the fuel tank was full.

Yes, this gives the car a weight advantage, but in their defense - have you seen price of gasoline?

Gasoline prices are so high that NASCAR is considering a new race – The Hybrid 500.

In order to increase national audience, the NFL is considering letting the 49ers and Cardinals play in Mexico.

As a 49er fan I was really excited by this -until I realized that they were coming back.

Mexican citizens were concerned that they were taking jobs from their own lowly pathetic football teams. We educated them – no – and they understand that these are the NFL jobs that nobody else would want.

So everyone wins!

I'm so excited about it - oops. where did I put my gun?

**

Do you have an interesting newsbit or blog article? Email me at rightwingduckatyahoodotcom.

I can't hear you laugh. So post your favorite joke in the comments.

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