 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
March 23, 2005
What's Irking North Korea?
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment) What the heck is North Korea's problem? They don't have nukes, then they DO have nukes. They want to talk, then they DON'T want to talk. They're all whiny & high maintenance. It's like dating a supermodel, except without the good looks and fake boobs. Why are they so irritable? Nobody knows. But I'll make some stuff up & put it in the extended entry:
* With the widespread famine in North Korea, they resent having to talk to Condoleezza Rice because of her last name. It's like having a guy named "Cheeseburger" interview Michael Moore. * They don't like being so close to Communist China, because those commies... you know... don't shower that often. * PEW! STINKY! * Li'l Kim's new do lacks poof. * Tried to nuke the moon, ended up nuking themselves, then had to pretend that they meant to do that. * What are YOU staring at? Haven't you ever seen a successful nuclear test before? * Embarrassed about being the only country that hasn't defeated the French in battle. * The Vatican hasn't, either, but the Pope's been sick, so at least they have a good excuse. * Due to international sanctions, not getting their fair share of porn-spam. * Only one radio station in the whole country, and all it plays is that stupid Numa Numa song. * Still can't believe William Hung didn't win American Idol. * Sick of always being picked last whenever an Axis of Evil is choosing team members. * Their national frisbee landed in the DMZ and they can't retrieve it because of the land mines. * On the bright side, dogs keep chasing after it and end up being blown back as stew meat. * Mmmmm... Dinty Moore Doggy... * Like the Chinese, Koreans have a stupid language that won't fit on a keyboard that's smaller than a movie theater screen. * Yet another barrier to sweet, sweet porn-spam. * Like the city of Chicago, North Korea has cold, crappy weather and can't field a winning professional football team. * Only one ISP in the whole country, and it sucks so bad that North Koreans actually look forward to receiving the new AOL CD in the mail. * Their national food is rotting cabbage. * Wouldn't be so bad if there were actually some cabbage somewhere in the country. * STARVING! EAT GRASS NOW! I would've learned more, but I was afraid to continue my research, lest I be mistaken for grass and eaten. However, if YOU are un-grasslike, you can leave your own research results in the comments. 17 Responses To "What's Irking North Korea?"
For chicago, you can add hockey baseball, soccer and basketball to the list of pro sports failures. #1 - Posted by: guttrhead on March 23, 2005 09:06 AMOnly one radio station in the whole country, and all it plays is that stupid Numa Numa song. C'mon. Just picture Kim Jong-Illin' as the fat kid in that video. You can't not giggle. #2 - Posted by: apotheosis on March 23, 2005 09:50 AMActually, I think the papal states may have been part of a coalitition that beat the french. I'd have to go back and re-read my Machiavelli to get the dates and the other participents, but im pretty sure. There was a while there where the papacy was pretty active in war. #3 - Posted by: stack on March 23, 2005 10:02 AMThat Numa Numa kid looks like that dude on the Ditech commercials.I closed my eyes and pictured Poofy doing that song and dance at a military parade.Bad,bad images. I think he's suffering from post-poofy depression.Ever since he got that haircut,he's been more moody and belligerent than in prior years.
Like the Chinese, Koreans have a stupid language that won't fit on a keyboard that's smaller than a movie theater screen. Not really. While Korean written language does have some chinese influence, the HanGul Korean alphabet is phonetic and has only 24 letters. Its short and easy. #6 - Posted by: Jeff the Baptist on March 23, 2005 12:57 PM"Like having somebody named Cheeseburger interview Michael Moore..." I was thinking you could have "musician" Meatloaf interview Moore, but that works, too. :) #7 - Posted by: Bradaphraser on March 23, 2005 04:03 PMLike the Chinese, Koreans have a stupid language that won't fit on a keyboard that's smaller than a movie theater screen. Hi, first of all, I love your posts!! Anyway, I know this is your "arrogant" opinion and all, but just wanted to clarify something for the other readers haha. Jeff the Baptist is right: Korean has a smaller alphabet than English. Chinese has thousands and thousands of symbols/characters -- a list of words basically. Korean is the only Asian language with an actual alphabet meaning there are letters and you put the letters together to form words. Linguistics have concluded that Korean is probably the most advanced alphabet spoken by Man. That's because it is one of the few languages designed by humans (most have simply evolved through thousands of years of speech). Anyway, sorry to go and give you a lecture on the Korean language. Keep up the awesome posts! #8 - Posted by: Eric on March 23, 2005 05:28 PMMy apologies to the Koreans for insulting their alphabet. I will now eat kimchi as penance... #9 - Posted by: Harvey on March 23, 2005 08:45 PMHey! Japanese has a phonetic alphabet... two in fact. They just choose to use them as little as possible. #10 - Posted by: Anonymous Non-ronin on March 23, 2005 09:43 PMHarvey, haha it wasn't an insult...just wanted to clarify things. And have fun eating kimchi...................... Non-ronin, you're talking about Hiragana, right? The phonetic version of Japanese is not really an alphabet. A true alphabet is where you have consonants and vowels that are all separate characters. Hiragana is actually a "syllabary", since to make words, you combine syllables. It isn't really an alphabet..... =D Haha, oh my goodness. Wow I sound like a nerd. Keep up the awesome site, Frank. #11 - Posted by: Eric on March 24, 2005 02:19 AMYepper, the Korean alphabet was invented in 1443 during the reign of King Sejong. There are 14 consonants and 10 vowels, and it's really not that difficult to learn - the alphabet at least. Grammar rules and syntax are more similar to Japanese than any other language (asian or western), but the alphabet is amazingly simple in comparison. Charles. #12 - Posted by: Charles on March 24, 2005 10:20 AMWay to blow it, Harvey. EVERYBODY knows the Koreans have a superior alphabet. Geesh. #13 - Posted by: Pam on March 24, 2005 03:05 PMHey! At least our football team *has* won the superball (85) can the N Korean's say that...huh, can they???? I think not! #14 - Posted by: Guy S on March 26, 2005 01:13 PMYes, the Korean alphabet is the most scientific in use in the world. We in the North have achieved 100% literacy because we don't muddy our writing with Chinese characters, like those elitist jackals in the South. Kimchi is the world's most perfect food. It is loaded with healthy vitamins. It cures Avian flu and SARS, it prevents HIV and pregnancy...it removes rust! I think I will go back to poofy in the summertime. #15 - Posted by: Beloved Leader (Kim Chong-il) on March 27, 2005 09:42 PMYou racist bastard! How dare you compare rice with cheeseburger for us Koreans. You effing asshole. Actually that was really really funny. However, the cabbage is pickled, because winters are cold as shit over there and you gotta get veggie nutrients somehow.... #16 - Posted by: andophiroxia on March 29, 2005 09:18 PMCan you please tell me the meaning of "IMAO" Post a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
