Sometimes brilliant satire is the sharpest dagger of truth.

Thanks, Frank J.

and as the left and the NY Times have been telling us it is "Painless and Humane"...

Frank, I love your humor, but this is a little crass. You've carried a joke too far.

A bit rough but it hits the point. I love the reference to the Hamster book.

Brilliant!

Egypt is in Africa, right?
What about Gaza?

Excellent writing,Frank.

Right on point Frank. Brilliantly points out the idiocy of those who believe it's what is best for Terri.

I don't think this was crass at all! I think a little bit of polish, some spit shine, and a few emails later, you could stir up a nice debate in some newspaper (old school) or maybe even make it to television.

One of your best.

It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Good job.

Right on the nose Frank J! Once again, your brilliance has shown through. You should submit this to the NY Times, Washington Post, and LA Times Op/Ed dept.

Nobody needs an unemployed Sally Struthers. YOU MUST FIND HER SOMETHING ELSE TO DO or else....

I suppose she could eat all the dead Africans. She's good at eating.

Well done, Frank. Viciously funny, and displaying far more moral sense than almost anything that the New York Times, for example, has printed in the past thirty years or so.

Absolutely brilliant!

btw Frank,
Have you had any luck getting Sarah to sign that Durable POA yet? There may come a point when she gets in the way of things you know...

Sounds good as long as you don't starve the kids or the cats, or feed the cats to the kids, or feed the kids to the cats.

Oh, and since starvation is painless and humane, I suggest we substitute this method for all on death row, especially the ones who can't keep their hands off of kids.

I'm all for the death penalty, but I'm sick of this lethal injection thing. If someone does the naughty touch to my kids, I want that person to die in a very painful and drawn out way. I'll gladly volunteer to throw the switch on the electric chair for anyone who has harmed any child.

As usual, you hit the nail on the head. Thanks for the daily dose of sane thought.

Keep it up and people will be asking, "Scrappleface who?" ;)

its scr*pplef*ce

nice idea, but i think i like mr swift's 'modest proposal' better. i know those african people are kinda' skinny, but it would still be less wasteful...

I see where you were going with this, but perhaps it was a bit too dry. It might have been funnier if you went into more detail on the UN or the left's belief in Euthenasia.

Two more points:

1) Looking at a map of Africa, you will see a barren wasteland with no signs of life, called the Sahara desert, in the area where the brain should be.

2) Since the rest of the continent is jungle (or is it rainforest?) it is in a permanent vegetative state.

Brilliant Frank. Simply striking how you can take a complex argument, parody it and truly make people pause and think.

Elvenbane. I'm with ya. It's unbelieveble we have this catch and release program for these _______________ _____________

YOU EVIL HEATHEN!!!

YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE TO JESUS FOR BEING BORN RIGHT NOW!

...oh, wait! You were talking about Africa. I'm sorry, I thought you were talking about an IMPORTANT country. My bad!

Right on Frank. I've made a similar point about the reduction of suffering/quality of life arguement for euthanasia and abortion. (how much quality will that kid's life have if its mom doesn't want it) An IMAO summarization - Nuke the Third World: a humane plan to reduce human suffering.

alucard..you bring up an interesting point. the left believes in euthenasia, but is against the death penalty? couldn't the death penalty simply be a preemptive form of euthenasia?

And it also solve the aids problem.

FrankJ++;

Brilliant! I call it ReductIMAO ad absurdum

Got to love it the world is moving along just great right into the hands of the few and the powerful, and as the middle class walk into a minefield and die off by the millions what will our non government do but tax the poor fools to death, and if you like N.A.F.T.A., JUST WAIT,more is on the way, as china gets its hands on your news and political system. and wait untl natural death become duty to die.

Jonathan Swift would be proud.

Frank - this Bites, in absolutely the best way. Awesome writing!

very good frank. funny as always.

Wow, excellent work. I usually expect funnies, but that is Grade-A satire if I've ever read any. As an AP English 11 student, you get my stamp of approval. Keep it up.

"As an AP English 11 student"
I was one of those, two years ago. Existentialism... ugh!

Give me a differential equation anyday!

Congress passes a law, and the federal judges who hear the case say no way, not gonna do it over.

I think it's time to send Chomps after some judicial folks who have a tough time following instruction.

Their now saying (via LA Times) that you get euphoric as you are starving to death. This way Frank could give the Africans one last good time. Who knew that's what that look was on the faces of all those kids with distended stomachs and ribs sticking through their skin--euphoria?

I also love all the people saying "who would want to live that way" about Terri. I know alot of people who would look at the way most people live in Africa and say the same thing--I guess they'd be ok with Frank's plan.

Frank, this one was just amazing.
Thanks for writing it.

puschmj, there's no mistery at all: the left is, knowingly or not, on the side of the bad guys.

Moving to the topic of Africa, and not Schiavo, I think the best way to help africa would be to kick all the NGOs out and stop giving aid. I think an investigation would reveal that pretty much all aid programs are as well run and non-corrupt as oil-for-food.

cool piece! :)

You'd also find that many Africans don't farm or produce food- they live on UN handouts.

Don't let them starve! "Let them eat cake!!"

Excellent post :)

Love it. Not too far at all, points out the hypocrisy of the right to die movement.

Nicely done, Frank. :o)

I think another thing we missed is the mechanism by which euphoria is induced. I believe I have discovered this, it is from endorphins. As we all know, endorphins are released as a response to pain, such as "Runner's High". Therefore I have come up with a plan to help people all over experience euphoria, with or without death:

Researches Discover More Pain Means More Euphoria

Anyone who wants to be part of my new pro-euphoria movement just contact me.

Great post, Frank. Remniscient of Swift's "Modest Proposal", and hits at about the same place.

You say "Let Africa Starve" like this is a Bad Thing.

Anyway, they're doing it all by themselves without any help from us -- ask any Zimbabwean except Mugabe.

So, if I follow your logic, it's a Good Thing to let Terry Schiavo die.

nice job as usual Frank...gets right to the moral core. LOVED the hamster book as well!

I wish I'd never come across this!!!!

Sorry I don't get the humor! Must be a sick whitey thing huh!!!!!

time to impeach the judges who failed to enforce the law

My question: Do we get a chance to reabilitate Africa, or does the UN deny this, though im sure its what Africa wants? Also, does any know which US states could be considered vegetative, maybe California, Pennsylvania?

Sorry, Barbara S., this is called “satire” and is a form of comedy. It makes a point about an issue by taking the opposing view to an extreme (that that thought path could easily lead to) so as to show how crazy it truly is. As my English teacher told us when we studied satire last semester, satire is “making fun of someone to bring about change.”

If you read the comments, you may have noticed that Jonathan Swift’s work “A Modest Proposal” has been referenced. Swift said that (back in his time) England was taking of Ireland so much that they might as well take care of Irish overpopulation by eating Irish babies. It could generate needed revenue in Ireland and decrease the number of mouths to feed.

And I agree: Frank J. is a modern Jonathan S.

Whoops, that should be "taking advantage of Ireland so much."

... And I call myself an English student.

Okay, okay, you're gonna give the guy a big ego. While I admit the excellent use of satire, and give points for the writing... the ultimate premise for the satire is flawed. I mean, you can argue back & forth about "what's best for Terri"... but the actual legal argument *wasn't* what was best for Terri.

If you read up on the timeline of this case, the real question was, what were Terri's wishes? The court, after a lengthy trial hearing plenty of evidence, decided that Terri did not, in fact, want to be kept alive. End of story.
http://abstractappeal.com/schiavo/infopage.html

Whether or not that's "right" or "wrong", that's really not the issue here. Emotional appeals really don't do anything but get people stirred up. Please truly understand the real facts of this case before helping to pile more onto the emotional mess it has become.

I agree with the Imperial Firearms Advisor. Read his essay " Let Africa Sink " and consider the wretched state of that continent. Then consider Terri and her condition and I defy you to find " humanity " in keeping her
" alive " in spite of her expressed wishes to the contrary.

http://www.kimdutoit.com/ee/index.php/essays/let_africa_sink/

Yes, why deny the Africans or any other starving country a good time? I mean, it's euphoric, cleansing, and boy do we feel good!

Very good article.

Good analogy, because as we all know, large, diverse, geographical areas are exactly like people.