Hello, I'm RightWingDuck,

I'm here to share the news.

Good stuff going on.

A Catholic school in South Australia has suspended one of several teachers who, believe it or not, attended an LSD party.

At first, Catholic officials were furious. Then they realized they misread the invitation - they thought it had said, LDS party.

They were returned to duty and were ordered to drink lots of Coca Cola.

LSD is fine. Especially when the flashback comes in the official school colors.

In Boston, a man who escaped prison twenty years ago was captured by police. The man was a poet of the month, and spent a lot of time in front of microphones reciting his poetry.

Police suspected something was wrong when he won a prize for his last poem, "I can't believe it's been twenty years since I escaped prison."

Beatniks thought it was a metaphor for marriage!

Rumor has it that the anonymous tip came from a competitor poet - or so they think. It's not many snitches that can recite a Haiku.

PETA is hatching another plan. They are working on getting together a running of the nudes, similar to the running of the bull in Pamplona Spain.

Man, I don't even when to be there when one of the runners get's 'horned.'

Again, and again.

Last year, PETA had nude runners wearing horns and sandals running through the streets. It was a first for Spain, and PETA. The runners fectched $2 a pound at market.

Donald trump would like to see Michael Jackson become a regular Las Vegas performer at at the New Frontier Hotel and Casino.

Responded Mike. That's not a bad idea, but can I peform at Circus-Circus?

Actually, he doesn't know it, but he would be on a reality show similar to American Idol. The other competitors would be Boy George, Charro, and 3 Elvis impersonators.

Peforming in Vegas? This would actually be a welcom break for Michael whose performing in front of groups of 12. (With 3 alternates)

The MJ prosecutors suffered a setback when one of their key witnesses turned up in Vegas- arrested!

This is too weird. The accused is running around free and the witnesses are in jail!!

A Chicago first grader got into trouble for handing out crack cocaine, thinking it was candy.

Actually, he was better off that way. Do you know the punishment for bringing CANDY to school. Man, the obesity crackdown is getting insane.

Administators knew something was wrong when he was asing $10 for a nickel bag. J

ust kidding. It was only $4.

You know, here in California, Arnold is proposing that candy machines be replaced by fresh fruit and other healthy snacks.

Candy is for losers kids. It won't help you succeed at all.

If you want success- try Arnold's Old Fashioned Secret -Steroids!

As advertised in the latest congressional hearings.

A few nights ago, protestors marched outside a Beverly Hills hotel, where Arnold was holding a $100,000 a plate fundraiser dinner.

You know what I'd LOVE to see. I'd love to see a Republican come out of that dinner with a small doggie bag and toss it to the protesters. 'Hey, here's 5,000 dollars for you. Eat up."

You know, Arnold doesn't have that many fans here in California. He's proposed a lot of budget changes and cutbacks.

They miss his kinder, gentler days - like when he was the Terminator.

Man, how could they NOT love a guy out there trying to kill a white woman!

Scott Peterson is starting to build a fan club.

Okay, what am I missing. You get convicted of killing your wife.

Does a woman stand there and say, "Yes, but he does have all his hair."

Does she look at him and say, 'No wife. He's available!"

Does she say, "Hmmm. Sure, he has anger issues, but he could change."

I guess they'd be fine, as long as they avoided going fishing together.

I don't know

Do they really think that one man could marry so many of his fans. Maybe they're on drugs. Maybe their doing LDS.

**

Thanks. That's all.

if you have an interesting newsbit, please email me at rightwingduckatyahoodotcom. Most of today's links were sent to me by readers (who asked not to be mentioned - but they're real - not imaginary- i assure you). If Imention your article, I'll credit you or link you of you have a blog.

I can't hear you laugh. So please tell me which jokes got a chuckle out of you.

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