(A Filthy Lie)

I got an e-mail from Glenn Reynolds last night. Seems he read Frank's post about letting Africa starve and figured out a way for us all to become stinking rich by supporting Frank's plan. His e-mail explaining it all is in the extended entry [CAUTION! - tasteless insensitivity ahead]:

Frank's "Let Africa Starve" post gave me the perfect idea. All I need is $1 from each member of the Alliance of Tree Frogs (or whatever you guys are called) for start-up capital, and we can sell a celebrity recording to raise money to starve Africans. I figure if I cut the Alliance in on the skim, you bastards will stop telling filthy lies about me.

I think we could get bushels of cash just by reworking that old "We Are the World" song a bit. Here's what I've got so far:

WE STARVE THE WORLD
U.S.A. Hates Africa

There comes a time when we heed a certain call
When the world must starve together as one
Not enough people dying
Oh, and it's time to lend a hand to death
Starvation's the greatest gift of all

We can't go on pretending day by day
That someone, somehow will soon pull their tubes
We're all a part of God's great big family
And the truth - you know they don't really want to eat

( CHORUS )
We starve the world, we snuff out children
We are the ones who take their food away
so let's start killing
There's a choice we're making
We're ending all their lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Come kill with me

Well, send'em all to hell
So they know that no one cares
Withhold food 'til they're finally dead and free
As the courts have shown us
By killing them stone dead
It's not murder, it's just lending a helping hand

( REPEAT CHORUS )

They're all down and out
There seems no hope at all
But through our friend starvation
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, let's realize
That one change can only come
When we yank their feeding tubes as one

( REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE )

And after all the Africans are dead, their puppies will be mine for the blending! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Meanwhile, let's have no more of this "Instapundo Delenda Est" business, eh partners?

Bow Down Before Me,
Glenn Reynolds

• Currently 3.36/5
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10

Rating: 3.4/5 (7 votes cast)

Filthy Lies
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | Stumble It!