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March 29, 2005
I Have an Actual Reason to Hate President Bush
Posted by Frank J. at 11:03 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (80)

There are a lot of people who hate bush for idiotic and imagined reasons. Now, some conservatives don't like him for some fiscal policies, but, of course, the left hate him viscerally for tinfoil hat reasons that Bush and Rove are plotting to destroy the earth and enslave everybody. Those people froth at the mouth at the mention of Bush. They're convinced freedom to dissent is being quashed even though no one is stopping them from babbling like idiots.

Actually, of all these haters I've seen, they all hate for things they think Bush is doing or will do, but none have actually been personally affected in any significant way by Bush's policies to bring any credit to their rancor.

I, on the other hand, am affected quite personally by Bush's policies.

President Bush is ruining my sex life.

Yeah, this is usually far from anything I'd discuss on this blog, but, with the permission of SarahK, I thought this was worth talking about.

See, SarahK and I are waiting for marriage ("Waiting for what at marriage?" the slow ask). Call us crazy, call us Jesus-freaks, but we're trying to be moral. You see, Jesus seems like a really good guy. He even died for our sins - he didn't have to do that. Least we could do is listen to him even if that means battling with the hormones - who are pretty good fighters, I'll tell you what. No one is whipping me or nailing me to a cross, though; hell, I ain't getting nailed at all. I'll live; just have to wait until we are officially married and everything is good and holy.

So, the question is: When's the wedding date?

Well, there's the rub, so to speak. There's no way I can get married without my brother, Joe foo' the Marine, being the best man. Problem is, he just got sent to Iraq, and, as for his return, things are... well... fluid. He could return this year, but that's if things go well. That's if Bush's policies in Iraq are a success. If things go to hell, then my brother is going to have to stay longer and the wedding will have to wait.

And I'll have to wait.

Thus we get to the point: Bush's handling of Iraq directly affects how long I have to wait until I get some.

Any of you liberals have this problem? No I don't think so.

Well, my brother's been there about a week or so and called his wife since telling her that things are going great and morale is really high. So, things are looking good so far. But, if I turn on the T.V. and see some new big terrorist attack, that means 'ole Frankie-boy has to wait, and the hormones just don't understand the bigger picture.

Sure, my brother being deployed longer has to be hard on him too with him being away from his wife, but at least he gets to kill people. Where do I get to direct my energy? My bongos to my Donkey Konga game?

I've been called a "chicken hawk" before, but, now that I have real stakes in the fight in Iraq do I want to cut and run? It sure would benefit me personally, but I still think we should keep the fight up until the situation in Iraq is stable - even if that means I have to... uh... persevere.

So, Bush, who is a born again Christian and should understand this, please don't screw things up or I won't get... well, that's vulgar. Anyway, I want everyone to pray for the safety of my brother and for the end of the terrorist attacks and the suffering they cause - both to the Iraqis and to me.

Rating: 2.2/5 (29 votes cast)

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