Hello,

I’m RightWingDuck and I’m here to share the news.

I’d like to start today by doing a rewrite of a joke and offering an apology to anyone who was offended. Typically, I don’t care about offending people, especially if they’re liberal- but when it’s another Army dude, and a faithful reader – then a correction is in order. (Full Disclosure, Duck is a veteran of the US Army)

Old Joke: Army Sgt. First Class Paul Ray Smith died defending his men and saved many lives. His 11 year old son was honored to accept the award on his dad’s behalf.

And following the long standing Army tradition, the young boy then stepped out to celebrate by getting stewed, screwed, and tattooed [The intended humor was in the age. I like the idea of the young boy stepping in to do his dad’s celebrating]

New Joke: President Bush today awarded the first Congressional Medal of Honor of the Iraq war. It is only the third such award given since Vietnam.

The other two were awarded last year to John F. Kerry (with a combat “V”)

Sergeant First Class Paul Ray Smith died defending the lives of his men. His courage is an inspiration to all who have worn, and will wear a United States Military Uniform.

His 11 year old son accepted the award on his behalf. It was a bittersweet moment as they missed their loved one – yet were very proud of what he did.

It was also an odd moment – Dubya kinda lost track of what he was doing and urged all 11-year olds to go out and join the Army.

The young man will be going out to tell the nation his dad’s story. In fact, he’s been so inspired by his dad’s bravery, that he’s telling his story in some very dangerous places: Chicago, Philadelphia, and Neverland.

The President along with former Presidents Bush Sr. and Bill Clinton visited the Pope today.

Jimmy Carter was left behind, not because they thought any less of him, but because somebody needed to stay behind and water the plants, feed the fish, and you know, just keep an eye on things.

President Bush wanted to show strength as well as sympathy, which is why Condi and Laura won out.

When Bob Villa dies, he’ll send Jimmy.

I’ve been saddened lately by the passing of the Pope.

I grew up Catholic but am now Grace Brethren (sort of like Baptist). In reading different articles, it seems that everyone is inclined to state whether or not they are Catholic.

Why is that? We don't say stuff like that at other times.

Illegal Immigration must be controlled (Full disclosure: I’m Mexican)

Hillary Clinton is the devil (Full Disclosure: I’m not female)

The Pope was a good man who practiced his faith and served God his entire life. There are people in line who’ve waited days just to see him and say goodbye. There are people traveling thousands of miles just to pay their respects.

I hope when I die that the people aren’t just lining up to spit on my grave. And if they are, I certainly hope the line takes less than 12 hours.

Have you SEEN that?

Some people waited 12 hours to see the Pope one last time. Man, I haven’t waited that long since my last trip through airport security.

Martha Stewart is saying that she wants the rules of her home arrest relaxed.

Being allowed to work only 40 hours a week is keeping her from building her empire and is causing her to lose money!!

It is just so unfair when jail time robs you of your freedom.

It’s like prison!

In Iraq, Saddam Hussein was watching on television when the new President of Iraq was elected – a KURD!!

He really irritates the guards when he watches TV – he’s always saying things like, “Hey, I thought I had that guy killed!”

The BBC has egg on its face. Recently they were working on a segment on the music of Bob Marley. They decided to write the Bob Marley foundation to see if they could interview him for a day or two.

Not a problem, except for the fact that he’s been DEAD a couple of decades.

When word of this got out, the foundation got another call – the Democrats wanted to know who he was going to vote for.

Today was also the funeral of famed lawyer Johnny Cochran. His list of clients included O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson.

Actually, he’s not officially dead, his case is under appeal.

The funeral was a who’s who of celebrities. It got a bit awkward at the end. For some reason, many were afraid to leave without hearing the verdict..

Richard Gere is traveling across the globe, trying to spread world peace. He’s urged the EU not to sell arms to China and he recently went to Japan stressing the importance of a free Taiwan. I admire Mr. Gere and applaud his efforts. (Full disclosure: I’ve never been with a gerbil).

The FBI is trying to convince people that they need to have a more streamlined way of carrying out their investigations. They want to be able to seize information more quickly.

So basically, the FBI would still know nothing – they’d just know much SOONER.

They are hoping the new rules are appoved quickly. They need to act quickly on a hot tip. Pretty soon, they’ll be going off to look for Bob Marley.

**

that's all.

You know the drill.

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