President Bush met with Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia in Texas yesterday where they discussed important things like the price of oil and how Saudi Arabia might become our newest nuclear weapons testing ground if they don't get on board the anti-terror train in a big hurry.

WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO!

But the sad fact is that most Americans don't really know all that much about our partner in the Middle East. Except that they're only a "partner" in the sense that - in the war on terror - they provide the terrorists and we provide the kill'n. So to make us all a little wiser, I Googled my little heart out and present (in the extended entry) the following

* The government of Saudi Arabia is comprised of a ruling council of 12 of the countries oldest and wisest camels.

* Saudi Arabia contains the Muslim Holy Cities of Mecca and Medina, which - roughly translated from Arabic - mean something like "Disney Land" and "Disney World", respectively.

* Saudi Arabia is bordered on the West by the Red Sea, which is called that because it's where commies go to die.

* When Ted Kennedy books a flight for Saudi Arabia, you'll know his time draws nigh.

* Men in Saudi Arabia wear a white cloth on their heads called a Ghutra. Although some claim to wear it for religious reasons, mostly it's because America has refused to share advanced baseball cap technology with the Saudis.

* There is very little water in Saudi Arabia, so if you see an Arab, shoot him, lest he steal your bottle of Aquafina.

* All muslims are expected to make a pilgrimmage to Mecca at some point in their lives, just as all Japanese must go to Disney Land.

* The main source of revenue in Saudi Arabia is selling bottles of stolen Aquafina to thirsty pilgrims.

* It is against the law for a Saudi man to mate with a camel. Unless his wife has a headache. Which is why Saudi men usually have enough wives to make sure that at least one of them has a headache at all times.

* The Saudis consider dogs to be despicable, unclean animals because they sniff each other's butts. Truth is, a dog's butt smells better than your average Saudi.

* Hey, you can only do so much bathing with one bottle of Aquafina.

* Saudi Arabia was originally populated by wandering tribes of nomadic, wise-cracking rabbits who should've taken a left at Albuquerque.

* A Saudi's weapon of choice is a huge, curved sword called a scimitar. Yeah, they're compensating for something.

* In a battle between Aquaman and Saudi Arabia, Aquaman would be eaten by a carnivorous sand dune, just like in Aladdin.

* Most terrorists come from Saudi Arabia, probably because sand gets in their underwear and makes them irritable.

* Arabs wear loose, flowing robes to help shield them from the desert heat and to hide the water-retaining humps on their backs.

* Arab culture is quite primitive by American standards. Some areas of Saudi Arabia don't even have the SpongeBob movie yet!

* If an Arab threatens you with his scimitar, just shoot him. They don't have "Raiders of the Lost Ark" yet, either.

* Arabs are a protected species, having been hunted nearly to extinction by Giant Sandworms and angry Jews.

* Saudi Arabia has lots of oil, but we can't steal it unless they're not watching us...

* Quick! Look behind you! An angry Jew!

* The easiest way to offend someone in Saudi Arabia is to say that their mother smells like goat. It's probably true, but they just don't like hearing it.

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