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April 28, 2005
The First! Carnival of Comedy
First! Welcome, one and all to the...... Don't all those synonyms for 'first' line up look a lot like the numeral one? Well, who cares what you think? I think they do and I am your host, spacemonkey. This carnival of comedy is going to be more fun than a barrel full of... submissions. You thought I was going to say more fun than a barrel full of monkeys, didn't you? Admit it, you did. Well, hah! I'm proud to say I resisted the urge. What? I said it anyway? Well, crap. I told myself and TOLD myself I wasn't going to bring up monkeys. Frank J. hates them (monkeys) so. Then what do I do? I bring up monkeys. Great. Man. But I can't let my failures as host stop me. I must move on, there's a Carnival of Comedy to start. Speaking of submissions (remember? I was talking about the submissions a while back, before I got on the monkey bent) we do have a barrelful. Not a literal barrel, of course. As that would just be silly. I suppose I could print them out, I guess and they might fill a notebook. But saying a notebook-full of submissions isn't as nearly as funny as a barrel full of, not monkeys, but submissions. Is it? I don't think so. A notebook-full of monkeys might actually be funnier than both of the other sayings, but it would be inaccurate seeing as I have Carnival of Comedy submissions and not, in fact, monkeys. I always strive for accuracy. That was why I admitted to not actually having a barrel. We do have a record number of submissions for a Carnival of Comedy on IMAO if memory serves and it being the first one and all. You'll have to count them though, the number gets so high I have to take my shoes off to count them and I'm not allowed to do that at work any more. For a few reasons that I won't go into here. That said, the number of submissions is, like, WAAAAY more than 10 as you can see for yourself. Unless, of couse, you are a total moron, then I suppose you'll just have to take my word for it. Even I can tell its more than 10. I wouldn't need to take my shoes off otherwise. Of course, I don't think there are any total morons who read this site regularly. But it is a special day after all and there might be some who were brought in by bus for the occasion. As hoped, the submissions range all over the comedy spectrum from funny pictures to essays to lists to howtos, there's even an ebay auction. Enough lead in I suppose so lets all take our shoes off (if we are allowed), kick back, put the drinks away and on the count of one, start the carnival. All Ready? All together. One! Robbie submitted a post by Alan at OCCAM'S CARBUNCLE presents I mean, the guy probably believes in God! Sam Johnson at I am abused mentally by my colon presents poot! RW at The Decadent West presents DW vs. 5 Year Olds [language] David Bieck at Guns and Glory presents 8 Ways Not To Get Shot By The U.S. Military [language] Mat at Dog and Pony Show presents Reverse Evolution Bad and At Newsstands Now! Hatless in Hattiesburg at Hatless in Hattiesburg presents Awareness Laurence Simon at IFOC News presents Annan Expresses Concern For Deteriorating Hilton-Ritchie Relations Suzanne Wood at Descartes' Bar and Grill presents There is,of course, plenty of news Uncle Jimbo at Military Matters- Uncle Jimbo presents Rotten Duck Eggs & Day Old Chicken Jennifer at Demure Thoughts presents Femme Products [language] Adam at SATELLITE FUN - PICTURE BLOG presents DANCING MR. PEANUT LAKE Dana at Northshore Politics presents If I didn't have a sense of humor Dan Lovejoy at Dan & Angi have something to say presents Did you hear the one about C. Everett Koop's Elbow? James Wigderson at Wigderson Library & Pub presents Let the fur fly Arthur F at Muse With Art presents Robin 'Red' Hood - Is Robin Hood a Comunnist? James at IbeJO - Creative Cursing 24x7 presents I'm gonna sound like a [pinkytoe] for saying this [language] and An Interview with Adolf Hitler [language] Scott J. at AMCGLTD presents Always a Woman Lana at live from the guillotine presents THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES II sackofcatfood at Mish Mash presents Fighting Terrorism, by Making Terrorism Uncool Jonathan Geist at presents A Rather Memorable Ebay Auction Ofc. Krupke at Ofc. Krupke presents A Tasteful Gun/Lamp Lee Zanello at See The Donkey presents A Brief History of Portable Music Steve Otey at Irritation Station presents How to annoy at work Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents Public Figures Speak Out On Ratzinger/Olsen Papacy Patriot Xeno at Right Hand of God presents Tips for Insulting a Person John at WuzzaDem.com presents Blogging With Clippy jimmyb at The Conservative UAW Guy presents Not Too Terribly Fond of Jane Dan Caves at America's Glory presents Taking Steps toward GET A JOB, HIPPY! Alec Rawls at Error theory presents Earth Day 2030: "A new eye blinked open upon the world" J. Fielek at Quibbles-n-Bits presents This might be the last post... Simon P. Chappell at Upright and Breathing presents Java and .Net on my desktop Kid Various at The Idiom presents Habemus Papem! Cont'd Ferdinand T. Cat at Conservative Cat presents The Thing with the Monitors Doc Rampage at Doc Rampage presents my protest Mark A. Rayner at The Skwib presents Exploding fairy tales, frankenfoods and German toads Raquel Roman at ..."And Psychotic's a bad thing because?" presents Ode to FrankJ. and Ode to FrankJ. (Cont.) Citizen Grim at Right Hand of God presents Happy Earth Day! a4g at Point Five presents Stupid Horse Dies on Movie Set, Idiot Animal Rights Activists Have Panties in a Bunch Entries From IMAO readers who entered by email rather than post IMAO reader whitefang1001-at-aol.com - emails CANNIBALS FIGHT FOR CIVIL RIGHTS IMAO reader, thrillerfan89-at-yahoocom - emails A 100 Percent True (Unfortunately) Story IMAO Members Cadet Happy at mountaineer musing presents the garden is coming in beautifully RightWingDuck at Right Wing Duck presents I have no proof but... spacemonkey at The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles presents Our Brush With Food Poisioning sarahk at mountaineer musings presents 4.9 A MAN OF HIS WORD Frank J. at IMAO presents Hating Michael Moore I did ask Frank for a nice quote for the first Carnival of Comedy and he said None of that 'first' crap, no talk of monkeys and... Monkey, see this gun? It's loaded. Now, get your feet out of my face before I unload it, the loud way.Mission accomplished. This wraps up the inaugural, initial, premier and yes, first issue of the Carnival of Comedy. You saw it here at IMAO, first! 24 Responses To "The First! Carnival of Comedy"
Bad spacemonkey! I'm trying to study for tests! #1 - Posted by: sackofcatfood on April 28, 2005 01:40 PMand FIRST! comment on the first carnival of comedy. #2 - Posted by: humanoverlord on April 28, 2005 01:41 PMargh! foiled by an evil internet connection! #3 - Posted by: humanoverlord on April 28, 2005 01:41 PMYay for the Carnival of Comedy! #4 - Posted by: westamastaflash on April 28, 2005 01:43 PMUm... err... what's the "language" warning on IFOC News for? Don't tell me it's the c-word. My God, don't tell me it's the c-word. #5 - Posted by: Laurence Simon on April 28, 2005 01:57 PM first, ^^ looks a lot more like the numeral 1 #6 - Posted by: Andy on April 28, 2005 02:03 PMSpacemonkey, How are you going to top this First! Carnival of Comedy? You have nowhere to go but down. Of course, you could number the next one #139 and get the jump on those bastards at the Carnival of the Vanities. #7 - Posted by: a4g on April 28, 2005 02:11 PMThanks for the link. But my name is not now, nor has it ever been, Robbie. It's Alan. We have a blogging Robbie up here, but he's a plus size barking moonbat. #9 - Posted by: Occam's Carbuncle on April 28, 2005 02:17 PMLawrence, sorry, you are correct, no bad language. see ed note. Everyone commenting on the 'one': no you are wrong. #10 - Posted by: spacemonkey on April 28, 2005 02:23 PMEveryone commenting on the 'one': Ok you were right. I changed it. #11 - Posted by: spacemonkey on April 28, 2005 02:34 PMAnd now you use a W in my name. Oh, just find a papercut and rub lemon and salt in it, why don't you? I'm going home and eating a whole stick of butter. #12 - Posted by: Laurence Simon on April 28, 2005 03:56 PMBTW- The puppy blender hasn't put up a link for the Carnival yet, even though Blog Mela and Carnival of Tommorrow are up. Do you think he didn't get the announcement? #14 - Posted by: a4g on April 28, 2005 04:38 PMAdam, sure thing. Laurence: Sorry I grew up in Lawrence county, old habits die hard. a4g: probably not, probably off blending strays and murdering hobos. #15 - Posted by: spacemonkey on April 28, 2005 04:46 PMDamn, you might as well just stamp my entire blog with the "language" tag. I mean my tag line is Creative Cursing 24x7. #16 - Posted by: ibejo on April 28, 2005 06:07 PMman, that Right Hand of God site is awesome.... #17 - Posted by: Certainly not Patriot Xeno on April 28, 2005 06:08 PMNever again put the links after the read more. That Not to Terribly Fonda Jane is kind of funny, in a psychotic way. #19 - Posted by: heather on April 28, 2005 08:10 PMWho's got the second one? This time I'm ready to enter. #20 - Posted by: The Babaganoosh on April 28, 2005 09:24 PMI'm happy to get to play in this but I'm kinda pissed I didn't get a language tag, and then I remembered I took all the swear words out. Damn I'm Dumb. Cordially, Uncle J #21 - Posted by: Uncle Jimbo on April 28, 2005 11:36 PMMany years ago on the Today Show (NBC) someone got the idea of televizing a barrel of monkeys - dull! That is, until about an hour later and the monkeys had scattered and were climbing on all of the audio and video equipment. I agree that a notebook-full of monkeys would be a more interesting. Your carnival of comedy will do in the meantime, though. #22 - Posted by: omajaha on April 29, 2005 07:41 AMI'm seconding Right Hand of God. He frightens me with the power of his funny. He will either have to be killed or absorbed into the blob of IMAO group-dom #23 - Posted by: Harvey on April 29, 2005 10:39 AMThanks for the link, guys. I was sure I was reading my sitemeter wrong until I came here and remembered about the C of C... PS, your site continues to rule. In every way. #24 - Posted by: Suzanne on April 29, 2005 12:43 PMPost a comment
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