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May 02, 2005
RWD's Thoughts On Weddings
Posted by RightWingDuck at 12:08 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (11)

Hello,

I'm RightWingDuck and I'm here to share the news.

Actually, I'm not. I've got nothing but runaway bride jokes.

Sorry, once something gets into my system, I need to get it out.

Ahem.

Okay. Let's talk about Jennifer Wilbanks and her fiancee John Mason.

Poor Mr. Mason, not only was he worried about his bride, but people were suspecting him of foul play. He took a private lie detector test and was schedule for one with the authorities when she was found.

Now, he gets to look at the TV and see the Ken the Roving Reporter doing a story on how his bride faked her own kidnapping.

So she planned the whole thing and even cut her hair. The only way Mr. Mason could be more humiliated is if Jennifer ended up running off with Ken the Roving Reporter.

**

Authorities are still not sure if they are going to press charges. Imagine - being arrested??!! Get arrested or get married? Ball and chain or ball and chain. Tough choices, eh?

**


Some brides wear white, this one wore dark glasses with a fake nose.


The wedding party is still intact - so conceivably, the wedding could still happen. Everyone is there - the ring bearers - the bridesmaids - the bail bondsman.

**

Could this be the only time a toast could be held against you in a court of law.

*

I'm a very traditional person. I believe the key to a good marriage is trust, honesty, and not faking your own disappearance.


So she disappears the day before the wedding and wakes up in another state penniless, tired, and with bad hair. Which reminds me, it's been ages since I've been to a good bachelor party.


**

What do you give this woman for a wedding present?

How about GPS?


**

Man, this is just like a fairy tale story...

"This is the bride. The bride runs. Run bride, run."

*

What do you say to your husband to be when the police bring you back?

"Mm. eh. Er. So. What have you been up to?"

**

In retrospect, we should have known. How many other brides have an Accomplice-of-honor?


In retrospect we should have known - how many other wedding invitations feature an escape map?


In retrospect - most brides aren't registered with Greyhound.


In retrospect, how many brides can say they DID hang a left at Alubquerque?

In retrospect - he should have known. How many brides ask, "Will you still love me when I'm old and fat, and living under an assumed identity?"

**

In all seriousness, the bride might be doing some serious time - which is why she ran away in the first place.

**

Buwhahahahahaha.

Sorry. That is all.

Must.

Stop.

Myself.

More tomorrow.


Rating: 2.0/5 (6 votes cast)

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