About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

May 23, 2005
In My World: Bush Blog Part II
Posted by Frank J. at 11:53 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (25)

Part I

* * * *

The evil media moguls sat at the meeting room in the hollowed out Volcano just outside of Atlanta.

"The bloggers call us arrogant and biased!" complained one, "but being dismissive to those right-wing nuts hasn't quieted those charges."

"We even got our own bloggers out there to push forward our psychotic, left-wing agenda," said another, "such as Markos Zuniga of Daily Kos."

"Zuniga blog good!" Zuniga cried out as he danced around, "Now give Zungia cookie!"

A cookie was thrown on to the ground, and Zuniga eagerly grabbed it and gobbled it up.

"How much has he helped?" the Newsweek editor asked.

"He's less than useless."

"Well, we were planning to do a whole series on Koran flushings," the Newsweek editor said, "but with the current atmosphere of people actually checking whether or not what we say is true, we can't do it. I have a new plan, though, to discredit all the bloggers, and I'll need all your help. Muh ha ha ha!"

* * * *

"...and that completes the list of congressmen I'm pretty sure are gay," Bush read aloud before clicking to publish his new blog post.

Laura came by the door of the Oval Office. "Shouldn't you be at a meeting?"

"Too busy blogging," Bush answered, "I think I'm going to hit over a hundred visitors today. It's weird; I find the more often I check my sites for visits, the more I have."

"I also have a question on your clothing choice," Laura continued, "Ronald Reagan had so much respect for the Oval Office that he never took his suit jacket off while in it. Clinton also followed Reagan's lead, but he wasn't as strict on keeping his pants on while in here. But you - you're wearing pajamas."

"I'm showing my solidarity with other bloggers," Bush said, standing up and proudly showing his pajamas adorned with duckies.

Cheney ran into the room and turned on the T.V. "You have to see this."

"It better be a cartoon," Bush answered.

On T.V. stood a scholarly looking person talking to a reporter. "My conclusive study shows exactly how disturbed bloggers are," the professor said, "Bloggers, on average, are prone to violence, dementia, and drinking smoothies made from cute animals. Just think about it; with all the quality news and opinion given by the mainstream media, who would want to express his or her own voice? An extremely crazed and dangerous individual; that's who."

"So, should we fear bloggers?" the reporter asked.

"Most definitely. They must be hunted down and stopped before they destroy society. Now, they'll probably respond to all this by charging that I don't have any actual credentials, that my study if flawed, and my data is made up..."

"Is any of that true?" the reporter inquired.

"That's not the point! The point is that bloggers should not be listened too!"

"This guy is appearing on all the newscasts," Cheney told Bush.

"Everyone is going to think I'm a nut since I have a blog." Bush turned to the door. "Scott!" he shouted.

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan came running. "What do you need?"

"Tell the press I'm not crazy."

"But they never listen to me," Scott whined, "and they call me 'fatty'."

"That's because you're fat," Bush responded, "Now go!" Bush started typing on his computer. "Now I have to blog harder than ever before to answer these charges. Laura, you help me, because you're better at writing death threats than I am."

* * * *

"Most people, not sure what blogs are, are turning against bloggers," said anchorman, "They're trusting people like me, who have great hair, compared to deranged individuals you can't see the hair of. Now, with reports that President Bush has a blog, even Republicans are turning against him - and not just media whores like Hagel."

Senator Bill Frist appeared on screen. "If the President really is a deranged blogger, then maybe he is wrong on his court nominees and social security and even the war."

Senator Rick Santorum was next on screen. "I'm against all unnatural things, whether it be sodomy or blogging."

"In an effort to protect the public," the anchorman continued, "the police are rounding up the most dangerous bloggers. At the University of Tennessee, law professor Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit.com was told to surrender, to which he answered, 'Heh.' When asked if this was going to lead to a violent confrontation, he answered, 'Indeed.' Currently, Reynolds is at the highest point at the University of Tennessee, shooting at police cars."

Bush turned off the T.V. "Now I'll never get a link from Instapundit!" He checked his laptop. "No, he's still posting. Must have brought a wireless laptop along with his sniper rifle. Isn't technology wonderful!"

The hooded figure of Karl Rove emerged from the shadows. "It is prophesized in the Book of Punditry that a sphere will threaten those who try to control the flow of the stream of knowledge, but, if the masses turn against the sphere, then the leader of the elephants will fall."

"That's it then!" Bush declared, "I have to prove to everyone that, even though I blog, I'm not a crazed individual. And the best way to do that..." Bush put on his gun belt. "...is to slaughter everyone who disagrees with me."

"I might have a better idea," Laura declared.

"Aww!" Bush groaned, "Not another solution to a problem that doesn't involve violence!"

TO BE CONCLUDED...

Rating: 3.0/5 (11 votes cast)

In My World
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933