I would suspect that a sub-sonic round may not penetrate Michael Moore's incredible girth. I think that using a high powered rifle would probably inflict Moore damage. Good luck and good hunting.

Invoke the South Park defense of yelling "He's headed this way!" before shooting...

But yeah, knee-capping him would be funnier...

The irony is that he probably hasn't seen his knees in years.

To take down Moore? My guess that whatever wiil do that won't be man-portable.

Can you imagine the size of the wheelchair he would need if you kneecapped him? It would need street-slicks and a 350 to haul that fat @ss!

" It would need street-slicks and a 350 to haul that fat @ss!"

You'd need a big-block, and two trips.

50 BMG may be your best bet. but you may want to dig out one of those german WW2 anti-tank rifles

Well, whatever you come up with, make sure it's belt-fed, and keep shooting until the barrel melts.

You mean the South Park way of saying, "He's headed right for us!" :)

I figure either a .50 cal Desert Eagle or a .500 S&W. Probably the S&W, you only get 5 shots, but you can get some Cor-Bon FMJ stuff that would penetrate the deepest folds of fat. With the Desert Eagle you would probably blast through all 7 rounds too quickly and miss the vitals. The problem is that you need to aim right or you could miss all the vital organs and hit him in the head or something.
The problem with the .50 BMG is that you need some distance and it's hard to cry 'self-defence' when you dropped that whale at 1500 yards. Unless you say he was menacing SarahK and you just happened to notice it through your scope.
But for me, I like the .500 S&W, it's fun to shoot and looks very cool in stainless with a nice Hogue grip.

Have a law like that in Texas perchance?

For up close and personal, I'd shoot the 12 guage from the hip. Don't forget to take out the plug in the magazine so you can load up 6 or 7 rounds rather than a measly 2. Just keep pumping.

Bah! These weapons are simply inappropriate when hunting that walking mass of blubber, Michael Moore.

You may have to speak with some Japanese "fishing" associates, but you too can adequately defend yourself from Michael Moore with a harpoon gun. If it works on whales, it might just work on him.

You all are missing the easy way to do this. Toss him a salad and some broccoli. Healthy food is Kryptonite to the likes of him. Get within 5 feet of him with a stalk of celery and watch him fall to his knees.

Then just use the good samaritan excuse and say you were only trying to give him a healty meal!

If you're looking for a concealable weapon capable of taking out elephant sized game I reckon you should be looking for a T/C Encore in 375 JDJ.

wrt the "Don't Shoot" question;
- I wrote an opinion on that here, based upon Volokh's opinion of the law.

According to what I read, you can use force if you believe that forcible entry had occurred.

I don't know, he may be like Mongo. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad, and he'll eat you.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

Let's look at the criteria for a direct-fire anti-Michael Moore weapon. You want a) stand-off capability b) fire-and-forget capability c) man portability d) maximum two crew to serve it e) field reload capacity f) high probability of first-round kill g) top-armor defeat capacity h) direct attack mode to defeat cover/concealment. Taking all that into consideration, I'd say your best bet would be a Javelin anti-tank missile system. If collateral damage is not a concern and you wish to engage Moore at BVR (beyond visual range), then a battery of M270 MLRS launchers supplemented with the M39 ATACMS will provide a theatre-wide soft-target kill capability at ranges up to 165 km.

If Moore is in an underground bunker or other such buried structure, then a good solution would be the B61 Mod 11 tactical nuclear bomb dialled down to 0.3 or 5 kT and using the time-delay earth-penetrating feature. This may be unacceptable in inhabited areas so you would probably have to wait until Moore was back in Michigan. If Moore's hideout is very deeply buried, you may have no option but an LGM-30 Minuteman III ICBM fused for surface burst.

Hey! Lay off the nukes! I'm in Michigan and I don't want to glow, heck I don't have enough sunblock for that!

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Might I be one to sugest that we wait until he goes to Paris and then we can hit him with a nuke? That way we can get rid of him and those sorry backstabbing low lifes in France as well.