About IMAO

Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!

Buy funniest book ever!

IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Frank J.
Cadet Happy
Laurence Simon

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits

Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Web www.imao.us
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts


June 28, 2005
Posted by Harvey at 12:22 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (16)

The version on the IMAO podcast (#5) was cut here & there for time & quality reasons.

My unsullied and divinely inspired artistic vision lies within the extended entry...

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, Harvey, and - week by week - I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless, and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, grab your surfboard because we're headed to the shores of sunny California, so let's get started...

California is a large state on the western coast of the US which is inhabited by people who snuck into the state and live off the hard-earned money of the working class, or, as the locals refer to them, actors.

The main export of California is fine wine, which is quite similar to French wine, except that it's less cowardly and annoying.

California was originally part of Mexico, and many of its cities still have Mexican names, like Los Angeles, which means "City of Beating up Rodney King"

California requires that all cars sold in the state run on a special environmentally friendly fuel composed of 50% gasoline and 50% tofu.

California used to be covered by thick forests of giant redwood trees, but these have all been cut down to make nightsticks for beating black motorists.

The state motto of California is "Eureka!", a Greek word meaning "Dude!"

More turkeys are raised in California than in any other state, and most of them get released from Hollywood during the summer.

The Hollywood Bowl is the world's largest outdoor amphitheater and will be hosting next week's IMAO podcast with the re-formed Monty Python as the opening act.

Buy your tickets now or we'll send the IMAO goon squad after you.

Californians can be easily identified by their deep, golden tans and fake green cards.

California experiences 500,000 detectable seismic tremors every year. Coincidentally, that's the same number of steps taken annually by Michael Moore during his trips to the refrigerator.

The average earthquake in California only lasts about 10 seconds. Coincidentally, that's the same amount of time between the beginning of a typical Michael Moore movie and the time someone yells, "THIS SUCKS!"

The state animal of California is the Grizzly Bear, which, sadly, has been hunted to near extinction by roving hordes of the undead who feast on their tender brains.

MMMM... braaaaaaainsssss...

California recently legalized the use of marijuana for medicinal purposes. Research is currently underway to investigate any possible healing powers possessed by hookers.

Many cities in California have outlawed the possession of handguns - however mace, pepper spray, and light sabers are still perfectly legal for self-defense.

You do, however, need a special permit to use force lightning.

San Francisco, has a large, free-spirited population of homosexuals, most of whom are safely confined to a gulag on Castro Street.

Clint Eastwood retired from acting to become the Mayor of Carmel, California, where he spends his days sipping whiskey and pistol-whipping Mexicans.

Many people hope that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will run for President someday, but unfortunately the Constitution specifically forbids the election of people who are unable to pronounce the word "Calee-forn-ee-uh".

Luckily there's no such restriction for "nu-cu-lar".

California is impervious to terrorist attacks because the noxious fumes from the hippies quickly render them unconscious.

Even though it's only a single state, California has the 7th largest economy in the world, 90% of which comes from the sale of breast implants.

Arnold Schwarzeneggar won California's special recall election in 2003 by running on the slogan of "I will crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentation of the girly men!"

California produces 17 million gallons of wine each year, which is enough to get Frank J. drunk 340 million times... if Frank were the kind of froo-froo sissy-pants who actually drank wine, that is.

Fallbrook, California is known the Avacado Capital of the World, a fact about which nobody outside the city gives a damn.

California became the 31st state on September 9th 1850 after winning it's independence from Mexico by defeating them in a brutal game of tiddlywinks.

California is famous for it's many elite golf courses, including Palm Springs, Pebble Beach, and No Blacks or Women.

In 1906, the city of San Francisco was razed to the ground by fires and earthquakes. Fortunately the local homosexual population was able to Queer Eye it back together in a matter of days.

The first person to receive a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame was Joanne Woodward in 1960. The last person was SpongeBob Squarepants.

Pauley Shore is still waiting.

Ronald Reagan was elected to two terms as Governor of California in exchange for his promise not to make a sequel to "Bedtime for Bonzo".

That wraps up the California edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be heading into the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go watch a Michael Moore Movie... THIS SUCKS!

[The complete e-book version of "Fun Facts About the 50 States" is now available at Amazon.com. If you don't have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

My question for IMAO readers...

Does reading this make you more or less inclined to download the IMAO podcast?

Rating: 2.4/5 (27 votes cast)

Fun Trivia
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!

Buy IMAO T-Shirts

IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!

By Category
American Idol
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933