Michelle Malkin has brought our attention to a New Yorker piece that focuses on yet ONE MORE thing wrong with our public schools: Too many of the wrong programs. The latest being a New York program called Operation Respect: Don’t laugh at me. If you haven’t read the link, go there now. I’ll wait.

You haven’t read it, have you? You did? Good.

My favorite part is where teachers are guided to other resources such as the music of Peter, Paul and Mary. (The #1 group of 1960) So, now we have all of these programs to help kids become build yet more self esteem. I mean, really, Peter, Paul and Mary? As my mom would say, “Ai, Jesus, Maria Y Jose!”

However, Michelle is too busy to be able to do some serious digging. Enter RWD and the crew at IMAO. Remember, if there are questions that you need answered – we have the best Fake But Accurate data out there.

Here for your review are the OTHER programs available to the Public Schools in America.

Program Title: A Healthy Mime Set

Focus: To teach students the value of privacy and listening skills.

Overview: The Mime Your Own Business program will help children become better communicators. As children grow and develop, they can become focused on the less important skills such as reading and writing. Too many schools don’t do a good enough job at neglecting these core skills. In order to enhance unspoken communication, students are encouraged to mime all of their ideas. Students will share what it’s liked to feel trapped in a box and the frustrations of walking against the wind – which many times can make them feel helpless.

Resource Materials. Special mime outfits made in France. Or in a pinch, teachers can improvise and shop Wal-Mart. Also, white face paint is encouraged so that students, especially in New York and L.A. can feel what it’s like to be a minority.

Price: $35,000, or as they say in mime ----- -------- -------!

Program Title: There’s Always Room for Yellow.

Focus: A program dedicated to fighting evil by running in the opposite direction.

Overview: In our increasingly religious intolerant society, we are taught that good and evil exist. This myopic point of view tends to make people stand up for what they believe in – leading to conflict. The Room for Yellow program puts particular emphasis on understanding those you disagree with. If they still disagree with you, it’s best to make sure that you do everything that they say.

Resource Materials. French White flags and anything written by Michael Moore.

Price: $35,000 unless you threaten us with violence – in which case the price can be dropped or removed.

Program Title: Can’t We All Just Get A Song?

Focus: Racial sensitivity and harmony.

Overview: Kids love music. There is no better way than to reach them through song and dance. Kids will listen to music from different ethnic groups, especially rap. Black kids can teach the white kids how to dance. It is only by listening to the plight of minorities that white kids can learn how evil the white man truly is. Just like class, and real life, minorities are not required to participate.

Resource Materials. A wide variety of music material can be used. Best if the bass notes rattle your fillings.

Price: $35,000 includes lecture visits from Jess Jackson and Al Sharpton.

Program Title: Your Chocolate is in My Peanut Butter.

Focus: A diverse program to facilitate the acceptance of free love and alternative lifestyles.

Overview. By encouraging students to do whatever, and whomever, it is the goal of the program to break down walls that would otherwise not break by accident – unless horseback riding. Diverse tastes can indeed taste better together. Students are encouraged to experiment and focus on pleasure, even if it doesn’t feel good. It is only be constant exposure that the walls of ‘morality’ can be eroded.

Resource Materials. Videos of Will and Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight. Plus other material to show that alternative lifestyles don't have to be stereotyped. Also, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. We discourage the mention of conservative gay communities as they are not - well, you know - really gay.

Price: $35,000 unless you accuse us of being homophobic. Then it’s free.

**

There you have it folks. These programs are coming to a public school near you. We've given you warning, this way you won't be so surprised the next time some teenager asks, "Can you read to me what's on this paper?"

This is just too much folks. I need to go have some Tequila. Which by the way, was the number one song of 1958.

• Currently 2.50/5
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10

Rating: 2.5/5 (6 votes cast)

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | Stumble It!