Greetings imao.us readers! Since Dreamworks canceled my War of the Worlds press tour because many have come to believe I am mentally unbalanced, I’ve been promoting my movie through the non-traditional media. In that vein, I am auditing this weeks Carnival of Comedy! So sit back, grab your e-meter, and let’s have some non-pharmaceutically-based fun!

I’ve run my e-meter on this first batch of links, and these submitters have truly reached the advanced Operating Thetan stage of Bridge consciousness. These OTs have exteriorstated their body thetans and have liberated their souls from the evil extraterrestrial tyrant Xenu.

Patriot Xeno at Right Hand of God presents an amusing exchange similar to one I recently had with Nicole Kidman at Irrational Beings

The Raving Atheist at The Raving Atheist presents a thought provoking NSFW discussion of recent Supreme Court rulings at Supreme Court Split on Display of the Two T*ts

Joe Pehoski at Joe's blog delves into the non-thetan animal kingdom at Totally True Llama Facts

Jim McCarthy at Movies I Didn't See reviews a movie my fiancé Kelly loves, but he hasn’t seen (which is possible once one achieves an Operating Thetan stage of consciousness) at Review of "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"

Laurence Simon at This Blog Is Full Of Crap presents an interesting nautically themed post that makes me long for my Sea Org days with L. Ron Hubbard at Prison Ships

Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents some poems that make my dyslexic head ache at Sir Richard of Durbin: A Dr. Seuss From Beyond The Grave Tale

Finally, Damian G. at Conservathink presents an examination of Xenu’s heir’s head gear at Pimp my Pope mobile

For the first time, you get the chance to vote for whichever of the above bloggers you think brought “teh funny” this week. There can only be one winner, so chose wisely!

UPDATE: This weeks winner will get the privilege of displaying a special graphic on their blog (if they so choose) and will also win this valuable prize.

My e-meter tells me that this next group of submitters have reached the Clear state of consciousness. Although they have at least a couple hundred thousand dollars in auditing and clay tabling left to reach the heightened sense of consciousness achieved by intellectuals like me, they are well on their way to operating as pure disembodied souls.

Mr. Right at The Right Place presents You Just Might Be a Moonbat...

a4g at Point Five presents Military Says Flag Burning High on List of "What We Fight For"

The Evil Emperor Mindstation at Point Five presents NASA to Blow Up Comet "Just Because"

Steve the Pirate at Steve the Pirate[net] presents Karl Rove Deemed to be Dark Lord of the Sith

Ironman at Political Calculations presents The Equation

Dana at Northshore Politics presents It doesn't snow in Alaska!

Dr. Phat Tony at Dr. Phat Tony's presents Hippies Gone Wild

James Wigderson at Wigderson Library and Pub presents I feel a lot better

Pete at The Daily Cause presents Gay Fuel

alsocanadian at IAM(also)CANADIAN presents Shocking New Saddam Prison Photos!

The MaryHunter at TMH's Bacon Bits presents USA to SCOTUS: Be Careful What You Wish For

GEBIV at There's One, Only! presents PGHA: Where to put the terrorists?

Two Dogs at Mean Ol' Meany presents Obligatory Beer-Thirty Update and gets bonus points for spelling “y’all” correctly.

Dr. Phat Tony at Dr. Phat Tony's presents The Minority Report

Pluto's Dad at Eyes On The Ball News presents Bolton To Use Eminent Domain to Seize UN Building

Steve the Pirate at Steve the Pirate[net] presents Battle Royale II: Karl Rove vs. Emperor Palpatine

David at satire presents Wal-Mart Demolishes the Supreme Court To Build A New Supreme Super Center (note NSFW sidebar)

John Hatch at Ideas Hatched presents Rape

Damian G. at Conservathink presents Ode to a troll

And now the rest of the rest . . .

I had trouble auditing this last group of submissions using my e-meter, so I moved over to the clay table. Here is a photo of what I came up with . . .

These Pre-Clears need to spend some time on remedial TRs in the Rehabilitation Project Force. Perhaps they need to throw their antidepressants into the trash and realize that true enlightenment and freedom from the Marcab Confederacy can only be obtained through Scientology’s Spiritual Technology.

Beth at MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy among other things, takes an unjustified shot at me at New Hair Removal Technique

Will Franklin at WILLisms.com presents some art that will cause me to spend many hours in deep contemplation at the clay table with Drew Curtis at Creative Taxidermy.

Big Picture Guy at Big Picture, Small Office presents Critical Mass, which this post never quite obtains

Tommy at Striving for Average presents Sweet Hot Bug Love, a Freudian trip into the heart of darkness

John at Locusts & Honey presents The Downing Street Memo -- John has a link to something quite funny, but he gets mega demerits for putting it in a .doc file!

Dan Melson at Searchlight Crusade makes my brain ache at Lord of the (Blog) Rings

Well, it’s been fun. Now, clear out your checking and savings accounts, cash in your 401(k)s, get those credit card checks, and head down to your nearest Scientology center so you can be as smart as me!

UPDATE: Pluto's Dad at Eyes On The Ball News gives me some free PR -- we'll be sending a couple guys over later for some five-finger auditing Tom Cruise Clinic For Wellness Opens

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