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July 05, 2005
In My World: Supreme Anger
Posted by Frank J. at 01:28 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (13)

"Man, now I got to pick a new Supreme Court Justice ‘cause that stupid broad had to retire," President Bush moped, "That sounds hard."

"When you're President, sometimes you have to do things that are hard," Laura told him.

"So, let me get this straight: The Supreme Court is just like a regular court but with sour cream and diced tomatoes?"

Laura sighed. "You're thinking of a taco supreme, dear."

"So the Court Supreme is completely different?"

"Yes, the Supreme Court is completely different."

"Well, I guess I should stick to what I said and appoint someone just like Antonin Scalia," Bush declared.

"But the only place you'd find someone that rabidly conservative is an insane asylum."

"Aw, I don't want to go there." Bush looked to Laura with a smile. "Want to be a Supreme Court Justice?"

"No, I'm busy enough cleaning up your messes here at the White House," Laura answered, "Now why don't you try and find someone from your staff."

* * * *

Bush found Alberto Gonzales checking more things off as "not torture." "You want to be a Supreme Court Justice?" Bush asked him.

"I think the conservative base doesn't like me," Alberto said, and then flicked out his switchblade. "I think I'll cut them!"

"Why wouldn't they like you?" Bush asked, "What is your position on unborn children?"

Alberto swung his blade around. "I cut them!"

"I can see how that won't play well with the base."

"Then I cut you!"

"Aieee!" Bush screamed as Alberto chased him.

* * * *

"Hey, Rummy, would you..."

Donald Rumsfeld pulled out a .45 and started firing at Bush, who ducked behind the wall and crawled along the ground as bullets ripped through the drywall.

"I guess I'll talk to you when you're less busy!"

* * * *

"Aw, my staff is violent and mean," Bush groaned to Laura.

"You were the one who hired them," Laura said.

"A lot of them Cheney made me hire, or he said he'd hit me."

"You shouldn't let Cheney hit you." Laura tried to pull a comforter away from Chomps who then ripped it apart. "That was from the Lincoln bedroom!" Laura yelled, "You have to find a way to keep Rumsfeld's rottweiler out of here!"

* * * *

"I would like to unveil my new Supreme Court Justice nominee," Bush told the press.

"It looks like you just threw a blanket over a dog... and it's making him angry," said a reporter.

"Very angry," added another reporter.

Bush looked at the form barking and snapping its jaws under the blanket. "Come to think of it, I don't want to unveil him while I'm still in sight."

Chomps tore a hole through the blanket and looked at all around him with fury.

"Nomination hearings start soon!" Bush yelled as he ran as fast as he could.


Rating: 2.5/5 (25 votes cast)

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