A muckadoo is a confusing animal, and I, being the helpful sort, have written a guide to this shrill, smelly creature.

THE MUCKADOO FAQ

Q. What is a muckadoo?
A. A muckadoo is often known by other names such as a liberal, a leftist, or a @#$% idiot. It is a creature that uses odd and illogical behaviors and speech patterns that it copied (sometime with small variances) from another creature - usually another muckadoo.

Q. Are muckadoos human?
A. This is a question of scientific debate. Some classify them as human, while other say there is much evidence to classify them with lower apes such as the gibbon.

Q. Can muckadoos be dangerous?
A. Easily startled, a muckadoo is rarely of any danger. Because of the shrill sounds the make and their pungent odors, they are classified simply as a nuisance.

Q. Can I hunt muckadoos?
A. In most, if not all, states, shooting a muckadoo is illegal.

Q. Where can muckadoos be found?
A. They are located throughout the fifty states, though are rarer than some areas while extremely common in others. They tend to infest college campuses and often can be found online at such sites as Democratic Underground and commenting at DailyKos.

Q. These muckadoos are all saying the same things. Are they really different muckadoos, or one posting under multiple names?
A. They are different muckadoos. What you have encountered is the mimicking behavior essential to a muckadoo. When a muckadoo sees something another muckadoo does or says that appears "clever" or entertaining to the muckadoo, it will repeat said behavior, now thinking itself to be "clever" though the repeated behavior often has no real meaning when analyzed. This mimicry of muckadoos makes it hard to distinguish them from each other, but being so involved with muckadoos as to need to be able to distinguish them is discouraged.

Q. I see a large gathering of muckadoos yelling and waving signs. What is this?
A. Sometimes an alpha muckadoo will organize other muckadoos into a pack that meets at a specific place. When then this pack of muckadoos encounters certain stimuli (usually T.V. cameras), they will begin to make noise has display their colorful signs. This phenomenon is called a "protest."

Q. What are they protesting?
A. Nothing. The name "protest" is a bit misleading as these muckadoo gatherings have nothing to do with protesting anything specific. Apparently, muckadoos gain great pleasure from making noise and waving signs, especially if given attention.

Q. Is there anything I can do?
A. If you are in a building looking down on the protest, try boiling some water and dumping it on them.

Q. That just made them louder.
A. What were you trying to accomplish?

Q. A muckadoo has called me a "chickenhawk." What does that mean?
A. A chicken hawk is a type of hawk that preys primarily on chickens. Since muckadoos tend to be chicken, the muckadoo must be enticing you to beat him (i.e., prey on him).

Q. Is it a trap?
A. Muckadoos lack the mental capacity for traps (that's why they exist through mimicking their own kind).

Q. I just beat up the muckadoo. It was very fulfilling.
A. I hope he got something out of it as well.

Q. I noticed the muckadoo has a strong, foul smell. Is this usual?
A. Yes. It's their main natural defense. If it becomes too much of a problem, try spraying the muckadoo with a hose.

Q. I sprayed the muckadoo with a hose, and he called me a "fascist." What does that mean?
A. Like many of the muckadoos’ utterances, it was something that once had a meaning, but such meaning is now lost. "Fascist" is simply a meaningless epithet used by a muckadoo to show displeasure with a person.

Q. Should we ever be concerned with the actions of muckadoos?
A. Though shrill and often seen on T.V., they are considered revolting by most Americans and have little effect on the country at large. Instead, they are a constant but harmless nuisance like houseflies. To keep them from bothering your household, simply put out an American flag. Its bright colors tend to scare away muckadoos (though don't question their patriotism).

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