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July 13, 2005
The Empire Strikes Back
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment) After the cowardly attacks in London, the Brits went completely whacking hatstand, plotting bloody vengeance against those what done them wrong. In their own typical, understated, cultured, and excessively polite English way, the Crown's Tommy's re-doubled their efforts in the Middle East to stick a dagger in the heart of organized Muslim terror. Amongst the weaponry rapidly deployed against the filthy terrorists were such diverse elements as: The Rather Unpleasant Exploding Head Laser Beam The 20 Megaton Nuclear Crumpet of Mild Inconvenience The Terribly Sorry About That Old Chap 7.62mm Explosive Sniper Round The Didn't Mean to Trouble You Electrified Gonad Zapper and Battlefield Intelligence Procurer The Double-Oh Eyeball Knife Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Napalm Spam Spam Spam and Spam The Bit of a Sticky Rocket-Propelled Wicket The 'Tis But a Scratch Depleted Uranium Bugger the Blighters Bunker Buster Missile The Not Quite Cricket Cluster Bomb The Nudge Nudge Say No More Bazooka And... A special propaganda bomb containing pamphlets imprinted with a single, multiple choice question: "Sunny morning, me cheeky monkeys, and quiz me this: What word best describes Osama bin Laden? I *do* so love the Brits. Bless them and pray for them, and may their swords forever drip with the blood of Mangy Mohammeds. 21 Responses To "The Empire Strikes Back"
FIRST!!! Oh, and will Monty Python sue you for the obvious rip-offs of their lines? #2 - Posted by: Damian G. on July 13, 2005 08:59 PMHysterical! "The 'Tis But a Scratch Depleted Uranium Bugger the Blighters Bunker Buster Missile" was my favorite. #3 - Posted by: Mike Fitch on July 13, 2005 09:31 PMDamian - to rip off one of my favorite Dirty Harry movies: "It's not a "rip-off", it's an "homage"." :-) #4 - Posted by: Harvey on July 13, 2005 09:44 PMBetter not let the BBC get ahold of this list, they might get all puffed up and teary eyed. TEEEEEEJ #6 - Posted by: TJgruffs on July 13, 2005 10:22 PMNo reference to silly keh-nig-its (knights), harvey? #7 - Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony on July 13, 2005 11:13 PMJolly good!! #9 - Posted by: jonag on July 13, 2005 11:35 PMWhy is it that jokes built on typical British stereotypes can riff on a sketch-comedy show from the late 60s and 70s and still work? I mean, wouldn't it be weird if a Brit made a list of jokes meant to convey a "typically American" sensibility, and several items were references to Laugh-In? #10 - Posted by: John Tabin on July 14, 2005 01:49 AMNice listing, Harvey: Though I am kind of partial to: The "WAIT FOR IT!" Airborne Chemical Laser Disintegrating Blast Of Doom! The "And The Crowd Are Loving It!" Man Portable ElectroMagnetic Pulse Generator! AKA The Bergen Back-Pack Nuke. The "Lovely Plumage" Fuel/Air Explosive The "Technicolor Yawn" Depleted Uranium Beehive Round The "Bangers & Mash" Anti-Personnel Mine The "Naughty Bits" High Velocity Multiple Projectile Rail Gun The "Where's Waldo?" Phoenix Equipped Predator Pilotless Attack Vehichle Jack. #11 - Posted by: Jack Deth on July 14, 2005 03:52 AMI never fail to LOL at that old line "This terrorist is dead! He has ceased to be!" #12 - Posted by: GunnNutt on July 14, 2005 09:08 AMAbout that incoming lefty hate: http://badexample.mu.nu/archives/103460.php #13 - Posted by: Harvey on July 14, 2005 09:37 AM"This terrorist is dead!..." No he's not! He's pining for the 72 virgins! #14 - Posted by: Undercover Hippie on July 14, 2005 10:00 AM...no he's shuffled off this mortal coil. He's f**kin snuffed it. #15 - Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony on July 14, 2005 10:38 AMHoly s**t! One day I don't visit the site, and look what I missed!! God, I love the Brits, and nothing goes better with British humor than dead terrorists. Plus, that was probably the best multiple choice question I've ever read. #16 - Posted by: Dave M on July 14, 2005 11:17 AMAs long as you've used so many Monty Python references, how about the holy Hand Grenade of Antioch? #17 - Posted by: David on July 14, 2005 02:20 PMI agree with John Tabin. Nuke Leeds by all means. It is a very silly city. [That is ironical] #18 - Posted by: Sally on July 14, 2005 05:50 PMThe Tactical Nukes who say Nee!!! #19 - Posted by: JMK on July 14, 2005 08:17 PMA dose of typical British phlegm....pitoui! Right in their eyes... #20 - Posted by: Dave t on July 15, 2005 05:11 AMAnd remember lads the fuzzy wuzzys dont like it up im They dont like the cold steel up im at all #21 - Posted by: gd on July 18, 2005 12:04 AMPost a comment
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