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July 29, 2005
Instapundit For Sale
Posted by Harvey at 08:31 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (5)

(A Filthy Lie)

Not long ago, Glenn Reynolds mused that he'd be more than happy to sell Instapundit for the bargain price of $145 million dollars.

Naturally he got flooded with offers, so he ran a contest: "Tell why you should be allowed to buy Instapundit in 200 words or less".

Here are some of the responses:

Muqtada al-Sadr - "According to the Prophet Mohammed, all unbelievers are as filthy hobos in the eyes of Allah, and must be murdered. I will be most proud to carry on Evil Glenn's holy homeless jihad. Will you take a check drawn on a Saudi bank?"

John Bolton - "Once Bush takes his balls out of that little box that Laura keeps them in, he'll FINALLY get around to naming me as ambassador to the UN. I will use the power of Instapundit - and possibly a large wooden mallet - to crush all those stupid foreigners like bugs! LIKE BUGS, I SAY!"

Muzammil Siddiq, Muslim Religious Scholar - "Now that we have issued a fatwa condemning terrorism, we must make this pronouncement be heard from ALL of our most holy sites, including the holiest of all, the site of Imampundit, the most... what?... CRAP!... nevermind..."

Kim Jong Il - "As leader of the #1 dog-consuming nation in the world, what could be more appropriate that having me take control of Ilstapundit and its vast archive of canine-based recipes?"

Condoleezza Rice - "I think Bush might respect me more if I had a powerful blog. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I *do* get a little tired of being patted on the head and being called 'my wittle Condi-Wondi'".

Michael Griffin, NASA Administrator - "We just want to own SOMETHING that doesn't have chunks of foam falling off it".

Steve Jobs, Apple CEO - "iNstapundit... got a nice ring to it..."

Bill Gates, Chairman, Microsoft - "The transition to Vistapundit will be seamless, since Reynolds and I both have pretty much the same deal with Satan."

Michael Eisner, Disney CEO - "We haven't had a hit movie since "Monsters, Inc.", and I'm thinking we could at least make a couple bucks with selling T-shirts on this site or something, and... wait... I KNOW!... "Herbie: Fully Blogged"!... It's so hip and trendy that it can't possibly fail!"

Johnny Depp - "I just finished playing a powerful-yet-creepy reclusive iconoclast with a fetish for short, waddling things that all look alike. I'm SO ready to be the new Instapundit."

AND THE WINNER IS... (in the extended entry)

The City of Memphis - "The City of Memphis hereby takes this site with its power of eminent domain, pays $50 to Mr. Reynolds as "just compensation", and awards the site to Wal-Mart, since it will bring in more tax revenue."

Which may explain Instapundit's new banner:



Rating: 2.5/5 (24 votes cast)

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