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August 07, 2005
Fun Facts About Georgia: The Director's Cut
Posted by Harvey at 03:48 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (15)

The version on the IMAO podcast (#10) was cut here & there for time & quality reasons.

My unsullied and divinely inspired artistic vision appears in the extended entry...



Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, Harvey, and - week by week - I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it's time to eat a peach in honor of Georgia, so let's get started...

Georgia became the 4th state on January 2nd, 1788, and its citizens commemorate this day each year by shooting British people with muskets.

Contrary to popular myth, not everyone who lives in Georgia is a redneck. There's plenty of toothless, moonshine-swilling hillbillies, too.

Coca-Cola was invented in Atlanta, Georgia in 1886. The original formula has changed since then, and the drink no longer contains actual cocaine or the blood of virgins.

"Georgia" is a Cherokee Indian word meaning, "Are those rednecks or hillbillies?"

Despite the way natives pronounce the state's name, "Jawjah" is NOT spelled with a W.

Unlike the word "dawg".

Since it almost never snows in Georgia, children there spend winters having cotton ball fights.

While having a cotton ball fight, it's considered cheating to stuff a peach pit in the cotton.

In Georgia, everything is made out of cotton. Except the peaches, which are made out of okra.

Atlanta, Georgia has the worst traffic of any city in the US, since every street in the city is named "Peachtree Road".

The last time it snowed in Georgia, the confused natives thought it was ash from the Yankees burning Atlanta again.

The state motto of Georgia is "Wisdom, Justice, Moderation.", which replaced the old motto of "Whiskey, Hookers, NASCAR."

In Georgia, every soft drink is referred to as "Coke". Except for Pepsi, which is referred to as "Damn Yankee Poison".

After Jimmy Carter left the presidency in 1981, he returned to his home town of Plains, Georgia and went on a bloody shooting rampage.

Wait... I meant to say "worked for Habitat for Humanity". Must've been a typo.

The only way to get to Florida from Georgia is by sea, since the Georgia-Florida border is guarded by landmines and alligators.

The Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Georgia celebrates the careers of all the talented musicians who were born in Georgia, and is currently empty.

They WERE going to put in a Ray Charles exhibit, but they figured there was no point, since he wouldn't see it anyway.

Saint Marys, Georgia is the second-oldest city in the US, and will soon be moving to Florida to retire.

If it can make it past the landmines and alligators, that is.

The state fish of Georgia is the largemouth bass, which shouldn't be confused with the much more common loudmouth drunk.

The name of Georgia's largest swamp, the Okefenokee, comes from a Shawnee Indian word meaning "I'd rather live in a swamp than eat okra".

Georgia was originally populated by settlers from England and drunk people from Alabama who couldn't find their way home.

The Governor's mansion in Georgia is the only quadruple-wide trailer in America.

Some people are offended by the fact that three Confederate leaders are carved into the side of Georgia's Stone Mountain. Other people figure it's ok, since the back ends of the horses point north.

Between 2001 and 2003, the state flag of Georgia was changed 3 times. The latest version consists of a white background with black lettering that says "YOUR DESIGN HERE: $50"

In Georgia, it's considered ungentlemanly to stare at a woman's breasts while talking to her. Unless she's REALLY hot.

In the year 2227, Dr. Leonard McCoy will be born in Atlanta, Georgia and will go on to become Chief Medical Officer of the USS Enterprise. If you already knew this, then you're a pathetic nerd who will never kiss a girl.

The most common cause of death in Georgia is getting murdered in a fight over the proper way to pronounce the word "pecan".

Georgia is the state most likely to be invaded by Jane Fonda and have its peanut oil stolen to power her tour bus.

The official state prepared food of Georgia is grits, which consists of coarsely ground bits of corn and shouldn't be confused with hog slop, which is made from coarsely ground bits of corn.

Although Georgia is already America's #1 grower of peanuts, farmers there are already working on developing a "super-peanut" which will be twice as large and shoot laser beams out of it's eyes.

They hope to use it to stop Jane Fonda.

That wraps up the Georgia edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be slipping into a grass skirt for out trip to Hawaii.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go murder someone who said "PEE-can"
______________

[The complete e-book version of "Fun Facts About the 50 States" is now available at Amazon.com. If you don't have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

Rating: 2.5/5 (34 votes cast)

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