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August 11, 2005
If I had known you were coming, I'd have baked a file in a cake
I've been thinking about the whole Hyatte murder-and-escape news story and one thing comes to mind: Traditional Values. You see, Jennifer was a nurse. Sure, she was a prison nurse, but a nurse nonetheless. And being a nurse is what would be considered a "traditional" job for a woman. I think that's a good thing, because Traditional Values is what we're all about, right? We're all for them? However, freeing your jailed husband by driving up and shooting the guards is not what I'd consider a "traditional" prison break. I'd say that was one of those violent "New Fangled Ways" of doing things, certainly not what she learned in her traditional role as a nurse. Or as a wife, which she'd been three times. Instead, I think everybody's familiar with the classic "bake a file in a cake" ploy of the previous century. I know, it's corny, but it's practically tradition. And nobody's ever gotten hurt from a file in a cake, aside from a few chipped teeth and maybe a loosened filling. Once again: Traditional Values good, New Fangled Ways bad. I'm just going to assume that Jennifer was just too busy as a nurse to learn how to properly bake a cake. Even with all those modern Duncan Hines mixes on the shelf that three moneys on acid can't screw up, and all it takes is what - a few hours to mix and bake and cool? She didn't even have to frost the thing if she didn't want to. Why did she go the "guns blazing" route instead of the good traditional "bake a file in a cake" route? Who knows? Maybe she didn't get the Easy Bake Oven most parents used to give their daughters, or Home Economics had been replaced with "Womens Studies" in her high school. Either way, I feel this is a failure of society to help impart our Traditional Values on our citizens, whether decent and upstanding or loathesome and criminal. On behalf of society, I say "We're sorry, Jennifer Hyatte. Can you ever forgive us?" 7 Responses To "If I had known you were coming, I'd have baked a file in a cake"
What good does it do to bake a file in a cake if he doesn't have a computer with which to open it? Sometimes the old ways confuse me. :{ #1 - Posted by: sackofcatfood on August 11, 2005 02:20 PMI agree Laurence. A woman who can't bake a cake with a file in it is no woman at all. I guess she really didn't know her place. #2 - Posted by: jonag on August 11, 2005 03:51 PM“Three monkeys on acid”… Now THAT’S funny—scary, but funny nonetheless. #3 - Posted by: Pete on August 11, 2005 08:11 PMThe scary part is I can actually picture three monkeys on acid. This si not right if any women can't make a cake with a file.That not mean that she is a women.There is lot'e of women i know who don't know about cooking.But they really are very nice. Jack, It was a joke. (And here's a little secret:....I'm a woman.) #7 - Posted by: jonag on August 12, 2005 06:02 PMPost a comment
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