A lot of people are up in arms over televangelist Pat Robertson calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

This is what happens when I forget to check my voicemail in the morning.

"Hey, Laurence... first off, God bless you, even if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your savior and was a part of the Hebrew cabal to kill our messiah and His only son two thousand years ago... I need a favor... could you use some of your Jesus-killing skills on a certain Venezuelan that's been in the news... and, no, I'm not talking about Antonio Banderas, even if he's a forniacting homosexual... hold on... let me check my map... all you'll need to do is go through Central America and you're right there... then just head to Brazil and walk on the dotted line to North Africa... you'll be safe there as long as you don't act too Jewish, then got terrorists there, you know... okay, so let me know if you're interested and where we should put the money, like you don't control the banking industry already... how do you hang this thing up... wait... hold on..."

I knew I should have checked it before taking a shower. Now he's gone public.

Stupid televangelists.

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