|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy! ![]() Buy funniest book ever! ![]() IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
![]() Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits ![]() Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck ![]() This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
August 31, 2005
A Story, Bit-by-Bit
Superego: Part 21 - Smile * * * * "Are you all right?" "I didn't even get a scratch." Detective Thompson leaned back from the controls of her vehicle and looked me in the eyes. "I mean, you shot a woman point-blank in the face." I shot a lot of people. Seemed to me it was sexist that I would be expected to feel more guilty about killing a woman than killing a man. Apparently Blondie wasn't a feminist, so it was time for me to tread carefully. That meant saying as little as possible. "She was about to shoot me; I try not to think about it." I then leaned back against my seat and closed my eyes. The Detective was not about to let me off that easy. "That was quite some shooting, though; I've never seen anyone use two guns at once… outside of movies." Translation: Why can some cop on some backwater planet shoot like that? I regaled her of how I spent years mastering "point shooting" - shooting without using the gun’s sights to aim - until I could fire quickly and accurately with both hands. I even added a little spiel about how the small amount of time saved by having a gun in my left hand to shoot at someone to my left could mean the difference between life and death. She just nodded the whole time. Was she buying it? Probably not, as it seemed all the previous statements were just leading up to what she said next. "You seemed quite focused while in the fire fight - had quite an interesting expression on your face." Oh no... was I smiling? I tend to smile slightly when I'm shooting - I know I do it; it’s just never usually an issue. But did she even see my face while I was shooting? Or was she just acting like she knew something to see my reaction? This woman was making me paranoid. It was just getting too mentally taxing; such effort, and she still seemed to suspect me of something. I vowed to start looking for a good ditch to dump her body in after I got what information I could from her. And I wanted that done soon. Yet another woman I'd be shooting point-blank in the face. Had a feeling it wouldn't be that easy with her, though. "I really don't feel like talking about this right now, Detective," I told her with annoyance - since I was quite annoyed. "We've already been through enough together that you really should stop referring to me so formally... Officer." I looked to her, and she had a cute smile as she looked back. I really didn't care for that smile right now. "Should I call you 'Tommy-gun?'" The smile didn't go away. "Friends call me Diane." Well, am I your friend or your suspect, Diane? I wasn't really angry at her, though. Now that this terrorist hunt was over, my mind was back to my main mission. Maybe I'd get some good information from her about Senator Gredler and why they know a hit is coming, but that still didn't change the feeling of unease I had about this job. Was it because it looked to be a suicide mission? I wish the explanation was that simple, but I couldn't place my hesitation. This was about the most emotional I could ever remember being. "Rico," Diane called out, her voice full of concern - real concern, "if something is the matter, you can tell me about it. It will be just between you and me." "It's complicated," I volunteered for some reason. "Maybe I'll tell you about it later." Just before I kill you - if only out of curiosity of what your expression will be. "Hopefully we can find out soon what's happened with stopping the plot at Roppola Plaza. You're a real hero, Rico. I'm sorry I put you in this situation, but you saved a lot of lives." Sorta wished I could care. Yes, I had just used my powers of death-dealing to better the universe, but, whether I killed a sinner or a saint, it was all just a twitch of the finger in the end. Our vehicle now landed exactly where no hitman ever wants to be: Police Headquarters. |
Buy IMAO T-Shirts
![]()
![]()
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|