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September 16, 2005
About Glenn Reynolds
If you're one of the few people that still goes to Instapundit, you've probably noticed how pathetic his "about me" post is. Sure, he's got a tiny blurb about "I wrote this & that wonderfully boring piece of tripe, gaze upon my works ye mighty and despair", but he really needs something more... personal. Something to make him seem more human. Or less INhuman, as the case may be. So I thought I'd do my part to help the old guy out - since he finally linked the podcast - and recommend some biographical tidbits that he ought to share. ABOUT GLENN REYNOLDS * Glenn got to be the top blogger in the Ecosystem through a series of carefully targeted assassinations, which explains why you never hear about JimmyHoffa.com anymore. * Glenn invented reusable toilet paper, which, for some reason, never really caught on. * Except in France. * Like most bloggers, Glenn composes all his posts longhand using a penguin-quill pen, puppy blood, and hobo-skin parchment. * Glenn's owns an '88 Yugo with license plate PPBLNDR * Glenn's incredibly thick geek-glasses were originally a gift from a fat kid who used them to start campfires while stranded on an island with a group of feral boys. * Glenn's day job is with the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe. * Glenn's first web page was actually a Judy Garland fan site. * It was later sold to Andrew Sullivan for an undisclosed sum. * According to Glenn, baby seals "taste just like chicken" * Glenn owns 7 shirts, 7 ties, 7 pairs of pants, 7 pairs of socks, 7 pairs of underwear, 7 sports coats, and 7 pairs of shoes, all exactly the same. It saves him the trouble of having to decide what to wear on any given day. * Unfortunately, he keeps grabbing the same set of clothes, much to the dismay of those who have to work with him on Fridays. * Somewhere a portrait of Glenn is magically growing increasingly old and ugly. * Glenn owns a very popular chain of fast food joints in Tennessee called "EvilBurger" * People say the burgers "taste just like chicken." If you know any of any important biographical tidbits that I've missed, you can drop them in the comments. 11 Responses To "About Glenn Reynolds"
NO clues on Glenn Reynolds...BUT I'M FIRST!!! TEEEEEJ #1 - Posted by: tjgruffs on September 16, 2005 10:10 PMA German inventor says he's found a way to make cheap diesel fuel out of dead cats. Dr Christian Koch, 55, from Kleinhartmannsdorf, said his method uses old tyres, weeds and animal cadavers. They are heated up to 300 Celsius to filter out hydrocarbon which is then turned into diesel by a catalytic converter. He said the resulting "high quality bio-diesel" costs just 15 pence per litre. Koch said the cadaver of a fully grown cat can produce 2.5 litres of fuel - meaning around 20 cats are needed for a full tank. He said, "I tank my car with my own diesel mixture and have driven it for 105,000 miles without any problems." Annelise Krauss of the Dresden Animal Protection Association blasted Koch's new diesel though, saying, "This is as bad as experimenting on animals." In order to punch up his flagging hit stats, Glenn, a so-called college "professor", teaches his students that instapundit.com is at the top of Maslo's heirarchy of needs. #3 - Posted by: Scott R on September 17, 2005 06:11 AMHe and Ron Popeil soon be releasing a new line of blenders whose blades won't dull even after blending 1000 puppies. #4 - Posted by: SeanS on September 17, 2005 08:49 AMGlenn suggests that lighter purebred puppies are best served with just a hint of nutmeg but mixed breed puppies require the stronger flavor of cinnamon. The one exception is the Basset hound puppy, which is much better used as a base for cream soups. Also, french poodle puppies leave a bad aftertaste. #5 - Posted by: Ira on September 17, 2005 10:03 AMIs Glenn a chickenhawk like most of the people on this blog? #6 - Posted by: mnin on September 17, 2005 11:23 AMThe lotf reference is gold, as is the portrait reference. Freaking hilarious! #7 - Posted by: SilverBubble on September 17, 2005 06:49 PMmnin - um... you DO realize that a chickenhawk is a large bird of prey that eats chickens, right? #8 - Posted by: Harvey on September 18, 2005 12:07 PMI like the Evilburger decor: cattails growing in the flower boxes. #9 - Posted by: Tennessee Budd on September 19, 2005 01:37 PMThey tend to draw the puppies in. Dan Rather gave me some documents that prove that during the 70's Glenn Reynolds wrestled in Mexico under the name El Hobo Loco, and his tag-team partner was Bill Clinton who wrestled under the name Senor Pantless. #11 - Posted by: Vox Poplar on September 19, 2005 05:21 PMPost a comment
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