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September 28, 2005
And the Next Secretary General of the UN is...
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment) Ya just GOTTA figure that - sooner or later - that corrupt, embezzling weasel Kofi Annan will get perp-walked out of the UN building. Which means they'll have to pick a new Secretary General. Never hurts to start planning ahead. Bush didn't, and now he's got.... what... seven Supreme Court vacancies to fill?... and he's nominated John Roberts for all of them. Lack of planning, man... just sad. Fortunately, I'm on top of things with the UNSG. Here's my short list: * Bambi! He will save us from Godzilla! He... aw CRAP! * The SON of Bambi! HE will save us from Godzilla! * Jesse Jackson - He knows how to unite the many-colored peoples of the world into one happy rainbow. Just like Skittles! * Mmmm... Skittles... * Bill Gates - If anyone opposes his mighty will, he can make their computer cr * Hmmm... must've accidentally opposed Bill Gates. * An Inanimate Carbon Rod - He's already proved his worth by thwarting the plans of the evil insect overlords. * Frank J. - The moon will finally get the nuking it so richly deserves. * Jacques Chirac - Then we'd be able to ignore the UN *and* the French at the same time, thus increasing America's disdainfulness quotient. * SarahK - She'll make the UN pretty by riddling it with bullets. All have their virtues, but you KNOW who I just have to give the nod to: * John Bolton  4 Responses To "And the Next Secretary General of the UN is..."
First!!!! #1 - Posted by: Nobody on September 28, 2005 09:12 PMI vote FrankJ and SarahK -- at least that way *someone* at the UN will be willing to shoot at something! Oh wait, it's the UN.... I don't get to vote. :( #2 - Posted by: Richmond on September 28, 2005 09:17 PM...I still say I should get the position. Maybe Frank and Sarah can be my lackeys. Gunlord #3 - Posted by: Gunlord on September 28, 2005 09:27 PMPomoze Bog. Vote for me. I would turn the place into 3 things: 1) The HQ of a Rainbow Six-type covert ops group dedicated to whacking Islamofascists, A.N.S.W.E.R. Coalition members, liberal Democrats, anti-gun group members, and other traitors to the US 2) The HQ of the World Beer Purification Federation, a group to be dedicated to eliminating cheap, tasteless beer (such as Budweiser and anything brewed in Canada) 3) The ornamental burial site of the UN Charter Post a comment
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