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September 29, 2005
The Tom Delay Indictment FAQ
Posted by Frank J. at 01:16 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (7)

Since Tom Delay has been indicted and everyone seems to be staring at each other with blank looks, I thought I'd explain the indictment and its political effect.

THE TOM DELAY INDICTMENT FAQ

Q. Should Tom Delay have been indicted?
A. Yes. Though I like to be partisan, I'm for the indicting of politicians in general.

Q. Aren't you afraid of indictments only being aimed at Republicans?
A. No. The Republicans are smart enough to strike back with making sure some Democrats get indicted. There should be lots of legal fun to ensue.

Q. So you support Tom Delay being imprisoned?
A. Actually, I'd be very disappointed if he were imprisoned. In a display of Second Amendment rights, when the police come, he should shout, "You'll never take me alive, coppers!" and fire on their vehicles. He should then either be killed in a firefight or lead the police on an interstate manhunt.

Q. So you want politicians to be indicted, but you don't want them arrested? That's confusing.
A. Politics can be complicated.

Q. What if Delay is innocent of these particular charges?
A. Then his will be a sacrifice towards the greater good of more politicians being indicted.

Q. I would think you'd be against the idea of sacrificing an innocent person for some supposed greater good.
A. I'm against choosing some random innocent person to be sacrificed, but we're talking about politicians. You don't get to where Delay is without doing something worth a hanging, Pollyanna.

Q. What's all that stuff on Instapundit about Tom Delay and pork?
A. Glenn Reynolds just wants to free up more money for his pet projects on studying different blending methods for puppies and bear cubs.

Q. He blends bear cubs now? When did that happen?
A. Hey, it's not my job to keep you updated on the blending habits of Glenn Reynolds.

Q. Uh, so far you haven't actually said anything about the actual charges against Delay.
A. That's because I don't know them.

Q. Being that you're a political blogger, shouldn't you look them up?
A. No, they sound boring. If he murdered a hooker, I'd be all over it. Actually, some politicians should murder a hooker soon before the news cycle gets boring.

Q. So you're for a hooker being killed so the news doesn't get boring?
A. Sorry; that was wrong of me. Forget that; hookers are people too.

Q. But not politicians?
A. No, not really. So who should we indict next?

Q. I'm asking the questions here.
A. Okay! Don't get pushy!

Q. So, do you have any actual useful information on this issue?
A. No. Welcome to IMAO.

Rating: 2.3/5 (26 votes cast)

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