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October 05, 2005
Counter-Protest Equipment
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment) Sooner or later, a bunch of smelly hippies will come to your town and try protesting the War, and - also sooner or later - you'll get sick of their mindless sloganeering and decide to take to the streets yourself to protest their protest. No such thing as too much free speech, ya know. But you shouldn't go empty-handed. Bring a ClueBat.
This item is useful for "beating sense" into someone whose knowledge of "what's what" ain't quite up to where it ought to be. A versatile device, it comes in several sizes, so be sure to choose the right tool for the right job. Small
For RINO's like John McCain or Colin Powell, and also as a preventative measure for small children who just don't know any better because they attended a public school.
For politicians who just don't know when to stop talking, like John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, or anyone in the UN Building (except the Stachemeister, of course).
For those with exceptionally thick skulls - Alec Baldwin, Tim Robbins, most hippies.
For extreme cases - Michael Moore, Cindy Sheehan, Jane Fonda. And don't forget to read the instruction manual before use:
"Fat end first, dumbass!" Yes, with these handy tips, you'll soon be doing your part as an American citizen to create a more informed electorate. Or at the very least, you'll have a good time.
"C'mere hippy! I want to explain my foreign policy..." 19 Responses To "Counter-Protest Equipment"
First!!! #1 - Posted by: Nobody on October 5, 2005 08:47 PMThat was great. I especially love that last little photoshop of Dubya. You know, with that bat and that armor I suggested, we could clear out D.C. in a couple of weeks! Gunlord "If Howard Dean can win ANY kind of election, then anything is possible if we try" ~Me #2 - Posted by: Gunlord on October 5, 2005 08:55 PMNow that's politics! Yee haw! #4 - Posted by: Alucard on October 6, 2005 02:11 AMgreat! #5 - Posted by: Laura on October 6, 2005 06:56 AMAs President Roosevelt said (No, not THAT Roosevelt. The GOOD one!): Batter Up!!! You forgot the spring loaded microphone/baton!! #7 - Posted by: Thunder Pig on October 6, 2005 08:43 AMHehehe... lol, now I just want to go out and buy a baseball bat! #9 - Posted by: Infinity8Ball on October 6, 2005 03:52 PMNow I want a bat like Dubya's! ...or an inanimate carbon rod... #11 - Posted by: Chris on October 6, 2005 08:31 PMAny blunt metal or wooden object will do, in fact. #12 - Posted by: Alucard on October 6, 2005 09:20 PMHow about bricks? I have a special place in my heart for projectiles. #13 - Posted by: Nanashi on October 6, 2005 10:52 PMYou can use bricks with my official blessing.... #14 - Posted by: Chris on October 6, 2005 11:15 PMI'm a limey lefty and I like fighting. I would love to take on any of you nazi goons. Oh but I forgot you can only do it with weapons can't you. Or children. Poor little paedo johnny no-mates. #15 - Posted by: Judge Dread on October 7, 2005 05:51 AM Horrabin --- I live just outside DC as well. Venture in everyday on the Metro system to work. If you just snarl at them, most lefties run for the hills. I think it has something to do with loving the animals, who snarl a great deal in the wild to prevent confrontation. Judge Dread --- I'm torn...the English in me wants to accuse you of being un-civilized, whilst the Irish in me wants to pummel yer skull until common sense prevails... And last but not least, Harvey --- Hilarious as usual...I'm going to be sending the bill for my computer repairs to you if you keep this up. #16 - Posted by: Chuck on October 7, 2005 08:48 AMJD - That's right, Americans only fight with weapons. Quickest path to victory, ya know. No sense getting into a fight if you're not gonna win. #17 - Posted by: Harvey on October 7, 2005 11:53 AMJudge Dread, you better watch what you say, or you're going to end up as the next victim of the Rumsfeld Strangler. And he sure as hell can fight with his bare hands. Not that there's anything wrong with weapons, though. #18 - Posted by: CPez on October 7, 2005 10:47 PMWeapons are just fun... and cool... kind of like, what would be cooler than smacking 'judge dread' around with a sack of door knobs? What a maroon... #19 - Posted by: Chris on October 9, 2005 04:48 PMPost a comment
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