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October 11, 2005
Now THAT'S smurfed up!
Posted by Scott McCollum at 12:58 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (18)

Most sane people figured this out 25 years ago, but finally the U.N. got the memo that Smurfs are up to no good and bombed their sorry blue butts:

These subhuman creatures live in a patriarical society ruled by a quasi-religious dictator with a beard, they devalue the lone female in the town by forcing her to care for the children (a career-killing move for any upwardly mobile young woman), and they hate cats... and that really pissed off Laurence Simon. To top it off, they are somehow related to Belgium.

Oh, wait. Now I'm getting word that this is actually an anti-war campaign funded by the UN to shame George W. Bush for personally toppling brutal Arab dictatorships and make Americans feel guilty for cutting off Kojo Anan's multimillion dollar per year gig moonlighting for Baathist Iraq's oil merchants.

Yep, after seeing the devastation of the Smurfs, I can't help feeling smurfy. George W. Bush is so smurfing bad, I just smurfed myself.

Can the carnage of the Snorks be far behind?

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

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18 Responses To "Now THAT'S smurfed up!"

Smurfs are a bunch of Commies. If Papa Smurf isn't modeled after Stalin, I'll eat my hat.

I hope they all burn in Smurf!

#1 - Posted by: Frank J. on October 11, 2005 01:12 PM

SMURF!

#2 - Posted by: Elvenbane on October 11, 2005 01:13 PM

What about the Fraggles? Can't something be done about those communist bastards?

#3 - Posted by: Panic on October 11, 2005 01:15 PM

I'm thinking this is just a diversion and that the real attack will be coming against the Tele-Tubbies in short order.

#4 - Posted by: Keith Emery on October 11, 2005 01:31 PM

Can we please add the Boobahs to the list of fictional characters that George W. Bush needs to blow up?

#5 - Posted by: fmragtops on October 11, 2005 01:35 PM

fmragtops,
I've always liked boobahs. Never heard them referred to as a fictional character, though.

#6 - Posted by: Frank J. on October 11, 2005 01:43 PM

Boobahs, based on their appearance need to swap the first "B" in their name for a "G".

#7 - Posted by: spacemonkey on October 11, 2005 02:37 PM

You can all go Smurf yourselves!!!

#8 - Posted by: Damian G. on October 11, 2005 02:39 PM

I think you are missing the point - they are now easier to get in a blender. Should come out like a blue snowcone.

#9 - Posted by: Len S. on October 11, 2005 04:08 PM

I have two daughters and they have three talking and dancing Boobahs, multiple Boobah DVDs, and watch the TV show on PBS kids religiously. Boobahs also bare a strange resembelance to a certain part of the male anatomy. Therefore I feel Boobahs should be bombed to hell and gone.

FrankJ, I refered to them as "fictional characters" for lack of a better term, but if you prefer dumb@$$es dressed up on stupid costumes I can use that one.

Then again I could just be overly sensitive.

#10 - Posted by: fmragtops on October 11, 2005 04:30 PM

I guess the Belgians wanted to be "shocking". They fail to realize that most people think bombing the Smurfs is so mindbogglingly cool they would watch it over and over. They were the Barnie The Dinosaur of their generation - whiny chirpy smack-tastic crap.
There's a parody song called "Smurfin' USA" where someone goes to the smurf village with a shotgun. When performed live, the smiles in the audience are pretty much universal (unlike the song by the same artist where Pooh goes on a killing spree). It's even cooler than "Archie got an STD" by Worm Quartet.

#11 - Posted by: Kent on October 11, 2005 05:40 PM

fmragtops,
I didn't know boobahs were children show characters. I thought they were something else entirely.

Boobahs!

#12 - Posted by: Frank J. on October 12, 2005 08:51 AM

Hallelujah!

That is my reaction to hearing of boobahs! Why?

Because I've never heard of them! Yay!

Wuh?

Because I have four kids (ages 10, 8, 6 and almost 5). This means that my youngest is now too old to watch that crap, so I don't know anything about it! Yay!

Although, I DO miss VeggieTales.

"A great big squash just sat upon my hat!" Classic stuff.

#13 - Posted by: Undercover Hippie on October 12, 2005 09:08 AM

Mother Smurfer!

#14 - Posted by: Tyler D. on October 12, 2005 04:27 PM

I say we kill the male Smurfs, take their smurfy oil, and make the Smurfet our slave.

I mean come on, a town with just ONE adult female in it...I smell something wrong/liberal...especially since there's a lot of little smurfs now.

#15 - Posted by: RPKLMG on October 12, 2005 05:51 PM


#16 - Posted by: on October 19, 2005 10:03 AM

Well well, what an impressive collection of views - from no doubt a fine cross-section of uneducated, ID-believing pondlife from southern Carolina. Why do I get the feeling the collective IQ in this chat conversation just doubled..?

So anyway how is life down the shallow end of the gene pool - government repossessing the trailer-homes or are you marrying your cousins?

Tinky

(which is not my real name in case you were very stupidly but very probably wondering)

#17 - Posted by: Tinky Winky on October 19, 2005 10:05 AM

Well well, what an impressive collection of views - from no doubt a fine cross-section of uneducated, ID-believing pondlife from southern Carolina. Why do I get the feeling the collective IQ in this chat conversation just doubled..?

So anyway how is life down the shallow end of the gene pool - government repossessing the trailer-homes or are you marrying your cousins?

Tinky

(which is not my real name in case you were very stupidly but very probably wondering)

#18 - Posted by: Tinky Winky on October 19, 2005 11:01 AM
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